harper said:
I'd think the NHS would be on board with periodic endoscopy for upper and lower digestive cancers. If you still have bowel symptoms when you aren't drinking (if such days exist) maybe you should sign up for a colonoscopy. Prostate screening (PSA) test, for sure
Oh god the bollocks goes on.
Your expressing a medical opinion?
So I go to NHS, I say help me doctor!, help me I fear the worst!, I’ve lost control of bowl function a really intelligent chap, who probably has or hasn’t medical training, said you should send for a colonoscopy, stick something up my arse or something and make it better, even if doesn’t make it better, well just stick something up my arse.
He’s goes right, that very intelligent chap on the forum who may or may not medical training has called it right, let’s stick something up your arse and have a looky, great I think, some woman dressed as a nurse is going to stick something up my arse, people pay a prostitute £100 an hour for this honeysuckle (pardon the pun), I’m getting it on the NHS for free.
By the way, iamlonely.com isn’t it principally concerned with mental health?, not physical but mental?, a doctor?, mental health?, hmmmm. Why would anyone come to iamlonely with a physical health problem.
Anyway as i’m leaving I go to doctor, quite why I’m talking to a doctor, god only knows?, oh by the way doctor, not only do I have a bowl problem, I have a bladder problem, and well I’m constantly dizzy, then the tingling in fingers and numbness, then heart palpitations, then tightness across the heart, choking, then pain everywhere and I’m mean everywhere!, this all come about at once!, I must be the unluckiest person alive and don’t forget I take sertraline (which has no effect) and do a bottle of vodka a day for relaxation and to sleep. I’m also a heavy insomniac and haven’t had a decent meal in months.
But thanks for shoving something up my arse, i’ll spend a very pleasant hour having something shoved up my arse and even better have a hour off iamlonely.com where they seem to talk out there arse.
It works like this, occasionally I text my brother. I say ‘Chris don’t ask any questions you know the drill, get me the ingredients, if you can’t, get me someone who will ASAP!’.
An hour later someone turns up at the door it’s left open, Mike I’ve brought you the ingredients, are decent?.
Poor me a drink, quadruple vodka, top it up with lemonade and plenty of ice bring it in the toilet and stay with me. Obviously that drink is gone in a second, then there’s another, then there’s another, until say 2/3 rds of the bottle is gone.
When he walks in he sees a man having a panic attack, or is a heart attack, because having been through a heart attack they are very! very! similar. He’s a man who hasn’t eaten for a month, he sees a man hasn’t slept for 3 days, he see’s a man who probably been sitting there for 5 hours on the toilet, he’s sees a man who is trembling terribly, can’t get his breath, in terrible pain in his chest, burping constantly, blacking out and falling off the toilet.
3 hours later, my brother leaves the flat, I’m sleeping like a baby.
But how the depression, how the depression, I’ve been strong, the people I’ve pushed away, how can i do this to the people around around me, not that they’ve really done anything, even if they have the person will have forget about it in 5 minutes and return to thinking about I don’t know a tit wank or something. I must hold the hand of death tonight!, we’ll after shagging my partner and sort of fantasying about some woman in the office I’m in love with!.