Tired

[olivine]

Worked as a healthcare worker in a big inner city hospital throughout pandemic. Now, what to do with all this trauma?

The world is intent on understandably moving on from COVID. But I can’t get their faces out of my head.

Young adults, younger than me, begging me to save their life.

When there was no more body bags, we used plastic tarp and sheets.

Watching my beautiful co-worker nearly dying on the vent.

My adoptive grandfather dying on the floor below my unit from covid, as I had to continue working.

Working in full PPE for 12+ hours on the COVID unit or emergency room.

Running out of basic medical equipment and medications in a first world country.

I was hospitalized twice.

“It’s just a cold,” they say.

The general public has not the slightest idea of how it was. How it still is going. Frankly,
most people don’t care. So long as it doesn’t effect them personally. And perhaps it won’t, for now.

A domino effect is already happening. Healthcare systems in rural areas have collapsed.

Billionaires got richer during the pandemic while the rest of everyone else scrapes to survive.

… So now, what next? Everything inside of me feels broken. Never mind my trauma… I have no faith left in humanity or this planet.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I don't know.. I think you breathe, first.

I'm reminded of the final scene of the film, "Schindler's List," there is a good quote there; also reminded of Lee Hi's song, "Breathe."

"He who saves one life, saves the world entire." "thank-you for all your hard work." "Just breathe."

...

 

[Finished]

Everything inside of me feels broken. Never mind my trauma… I have no faith left in humanity or this planet.

Welcome to this site and thank you very much for your service! I'm sorry you were subjected to all of that. While many of us debated about what has been done correctly and what has not. You were actually saving lives. I hope that never gets forgotten.

 

[Sunless Sky]

These experiences make you who are. Adversity breeds strength.

Thank you for your service.

 

[SecondStarTotheRight]

If you're still around, do you mind saying which inner-city hospital you worked at and if you still do?

 

[U-122]

Worked as a healthcare worker in a big inner city hospital throughout pandemic. Now, what to do with all this trauma?

The world is intent on understandably moving on from COVID. But I can’t get their faces out of my head.

Young adults, younger than me, begging me to save their life.

When there was no more body bags, we used plastic tarp and sheets.

Watching my beautiful co-worker nearly dying on the vent.

My adoptive grandfather dying on the floor below my unit from covid, as I had to continue working.

Working in full PPE for 12+ hours on the COVID unit or emergency room.

Running out of basic medical equipment and medications in a first world country.

I was hospitalized twice.

“It’s just a cold,” they say.

The general public has not the slightest idea of how it was. How it still is going. Frankly,
most people don’t care. So long as it doesn’t effect them personally. And perhaps it won’t, for now.

A domino effect is already happening. Healthcare systems in rural areas have collapsed.

Billionaires got richer during the pandemic while the rest of everyone else scrapes to survive.

… So now, what next? Everything inside of me feels broken. Never mind my trauma… I have no faith left in humanity or this planet.

I had it very bad and i couldn't even go to the hospital or ER. All were told to stay out. I was suffocating from cough. Severe flu like Sx. If i'd gone to local hospital it's a one way trip. The more covid cases the more funding they received, so everyone was written off as covid. I had early 2020 but didn't stop coughing until april may. It's a shame covid took many good ones, but those who really deserve to go never even got a cold. Nature is cruel.

 

[Richard_39]

You burry it down and push through it. Ultimately, there's nothing else to be done. Those images will accompany you for a long time.

 

[Minus]

Welcome to the forums and thank you for what you have done.

 

[olivine]

If you're still around, do you mind saying which inner-city hospital you worked at and if you still do?

For privacy purposes, I’ll pass answering the former.

Fortunately, no longer working there, for both mental and physical reasons. The arch in one of my feet collapsed from 12+ hrs of standing with no breaks. We would clock out for 30 minutes, and clock back in. Used to have to use a walker after my shifts. Since leaving, I have not had to rely on the walker as much, if at all.

 

[olivine]

Coming up on my 1 year anniversary working in hospice.

I think I have seen dozens of deaths by now, and somehow it doesn't compare to the PTSD of working in the hospital.

Beginning to realize that I won't ever be the same person I was before 2020.

 

[sunflowergirl1306]

Coming up on my 1 year anniversary working in hospice.

I think I have seen dozens of deaths by now, and somehow it doesn't compare to the PTSD of working in the hospital.

Beginning to realize that I won't ever be the same person I was before 2020.

Hello and welcome I'm so sorry to hear this,I hope you find some comfort here.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Beginning to realize that I won't ever be the same person I was before 2020.

You shouldn't be. No one should be the same as they were 2 year ago. They should be working to be better. Stronger, happier, more resolved, whatever. Doesn't matter what you were two years ago or what has happened during that time. It's the past. All you can do is be better than the person you were yesterday. So focus on today and work toward being who you want to be.

 

[user 188522]

You are a hero! Remember that going forward. Welcome to the forum; many intelligent, insightful people are here.

 

[Finished]

You are a hero! Remember that going forward. Welcome to the forum; many intelligent, insightful people are here.

And some others like me too.