Why are relationships so hard to find?

[Luna]

I don't know if I'm "desperate." Maybe I am. I just feel I have a lot to offer. This doesn't really seem fair.

I just want to point this out because I hear this quite often...

I used to be friends with someone who actually voiced out those same feelings that you shared...he was so angry, bitter and entitled. He thought he was the honeysuckle dot com because all of his accomplishments at the tender age of 26. People who were not as "successful" as him had their fair share of relationships and friends and to him in his eyes...he felt that the world and women were cheating him of love and sex.

Life doesn't owe us anything.

I learned that no matter how "good" we are - we are NOT entitled to a good partner, a family, love etc. The only thing we can do is to keep a positive attitude and work for it - and even if you work for it; it may not even happen! But as long as you hope and you try - there is always a chance.

I used to have those same feelings of how unfair it was that I did A, B, C and I didn't get D, E, F. Just through general experiences and realizing that there ARE people who are far worse than I am; children who are sick and have no food to eat/ victims of abuse, rape, hate-crimes/ people in war-torn countries...it helps me keep grounded because I believe that these people did not do anything to deserve what life has given them. Just the same, I don't deserve this or that out of life either.

Life is not fair to anyone but we just have to work with what we're given the best that we can.

(Try to let go the entitlement attitude or you'll come off as "desperate" "miserable" "angry". Work hard for yourself and go with the flow.)

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I work the Course in Miracles for almost a year.. Its not about
wssy washy. Magic or vooddo stuff.
Its about spiritaulity and livng in harmony with life..Love, relationships
and sex are part of life.
Mainly what I got out of it is Im
not separate for god. Life...etc.

The Sedana Method gose about it
in a different way. Ultimately it
about getting me to understand
or know that Im not Separated from life..god Love ..etc.
Letting go of guilt .shame...the many
negative thoughts and feelings that blocks me or separtes me from Love.

SEPARATION is a state of LACK which
gets us into looking and seeking.

 

[VanillaCreme]

What the hell are you talking about?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

NONE OG UR BUSINESS.
U DONT HAVE TO READ IT COMMENT ON
EVERYTHING I WRITE. IF ITS OVER
UR HEAD. THATS UR PROBLEM..

STOP ABUSING UR SO CALL STATUE.
U ALREADY MADE IT CLEAR TO ME
THAT UR A RACIST BIGGOT BY THE
MANY RACUAL MOMENT U MADE TO
ME...

---

I anit Trippin.. U know what
u do and the hatred that drives u..

Beautiful sexy women are attracted
me. It is what it is. U dont have to like it. U dont even to agree wiht me.
U can even hate me without knowing
me.

Theres plenty of beautiul women
inside and out in this world
that would love to have sex with me.and you have no control over that.

 

[Yeah!]

I actually want to punch you in the face. Go to this page:

http://text-to-speech.imtranslator.net/

Then copy / paste what you just posted.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Im pretty sure Ive educated myself
to what abusive people do.
Plenty of inforamtions avaliable
and its not gender especific.

All the tactis...all the traits. All the
games. All the patterns..

---

And even if some of my relationships
evolve around SEX SEX SEX...so what.
Its not a sin. Its not sad. Its not bad.

Even if I pick up women and one night stands with them..so what.
Its not sad. Its not bad.Its not a sin.

Same planet...different world.

 

[Yeah!]

If you educated yourself you should sack yourself for doing a shitty job.

 

[VanillaCreme]

NONE OG UR BUSINESS.
U DONT HAVE TO READ IT COMMENT ON
EVERYTHING I WRITE. IF ITS OVER
UR HEAD. THATS UR PROBLEM..

STOP ABUSING UR SO CALL STATUE.
U ALREADY MADE IT CLEAR TO ME
THAT UR A RACIST BIGGOT BY THE
MANY RACUAL MOMENT U MADE TO
ME...

---

---

First of all, I never said anything racist. Second, I CAN comment on what I want to. Third, I find it funny how you only target me out for saying something to you, when someone else can say something to you and you never say anything.

So mind your ******* manners.





And I don't have a statue, brah.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Too much emphasis on sex? Well everyone has a sex drive. I can be a very, very good sexual partner also. But, need to find someone special. That's all for now I guess. Need to sleep.

I think you're not being positive enough, honestly. There is something special about virtually everyone if you wish to take the time to look into it.

Life doesn't owe us anything.

So very true.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Second of all...Remember clearly
What you called me....

I may forgive...but I never forget

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Well...to the OP.

Just like u , I just want to be with
one woman..but my life hasnt trun
out that way. At least the last time
I spoke to her...not very long ago
she told me that she loves me very
much . Which is a positive thing.

My delimma is Im living with another
person. At the moment.And of course she tells me that she had fallim in love with me. but Im not head over heels for her as I am with Renae
Renae and I aslo have a daughter togehter...its definitly not all about
sex..

At the sametime I cant wait forever
for Renae to get herself togehter.
She has many issues . Never the less
I love her inspite of all her problems.
Renae and my relationship hasnt been conveint at the least.

Oh how romanic it can be for a women....in so many love songs..
"I can wait forever" is one of my favorite love song I play for Renae.

I do understand about finding a person that you can fall in love with and love is not like shoping for a car

.But were do you draw the line
of getting in too deep?

 

[ShybutHi]

I agree with a few posts on here. Try not to think about it too much and go on with life but try and socialize as much as possible... That will ofcourse bump up your chances just by being out there.

I know all too well what it is like being lonely, only been in one relationship which lasted a few months when I was in my teens and I am also quite socially awkward which doesnt help, so I know what it is like to desire having someone close.
Keeping busy with hobbies and such is the best thing to do and I think alot of people who posted on here are right when they say a relationship can crop up when you least expect it.

Confidence is always an attractive quality aswell, even just if it is being quietly confident, its all in the body language.

 

[I.O.]

I can't ******* take it anymore. I used to be a weird, emotional whiner, and it was made clear that everyone hated me for it. So now I keep everything inside, but I don't know how much more I can take. I know I'm ******* young, and that everyone's sure I'll find someone, but it doesn't seem to make me feel any better. Every ******* thing at university is aggressively assuming you have a massively successful love life. Every ******* pamphlet is about oral sex, every ******* person won't shut up about people they messed or their escapades with their others, and EVERY ******* PROF mentions it at every turn. "So, you guys, say you're out with your girlfriends.." It would be a lot easier to deal with this honeysuckle if everyone wasn't ******* shoving it in my face all the time. I'm so ******* angry, and so ******* depressed. I hate relationships, and the people in them, but at the same time it's the only thing I want. All anyone who I manage to stutter out a bit of a confession to won't say anything other than "Well, everything is going to change very soon, because you're a HANDSOME ******* YOUNG MAN, and YOU WILL MEET SOMEONE. Just KEEP YOUR HOPES UP." I can't even understand how I feel anymore. I'm afraid of intimacy, I loathe the tradition of relationships, and I have to act like nothing's ******* wrong all the time. I can't find someone. fresia it all, I'm saying it. I don't think I'll ever really find someone in the direction I'm going.
I'm afraid I'm going to lose it very soon.

 

[jean-vic]

I can't ******* take it anymore. I used to be a weird, emotional whiner, and it was made clear that everyone hated me for it. So now I keep everything inside, but I don't know how much more I can take. I know I'm ******* young, and that everyone's sure I'll find someone, but it doesn't seem to make me feel any better. Every ******* thing at university is aggressively assuming you have a massively successful love life. Every ******* pamphlet is about oral sex, every ******* person won't shut up about people they messed or their escapades with their others, and EVERY ******* PROF mentions it at every turn. "So, you guys, say you're out with your girlfriends.." It would be a lot easier to deal with this honeysuckle if everyone wasn't ******* shoving it in my face all the time. I'm so ******* angry, and so ******* depressed. I hate relationships, and the people in them, but at the same time it's the only thing I want. All anyone who I manage to stutter out a bit of a confession to won't say anything other than "Well, everything is going to change very soon, because you're a HANDSOME ******* YOUNG MAN, and YOU WILL MEET SOMEONE. Just KEEP YOUR HOPES UP." I can't even understand how I feel anymore. I'm afraid of intimacy, I loathe the tradition of relationships, and I have to act like nothing's ******* wrong all the time. I can't find someone. fresia it all, I'm saying it. I don't think I'll ever really find someone in the direction I'm going.
I'm afraid I'm going to lose it very soon.

Dude, I get you completely. I may not put it so dramatically, but I get you. Rule Number 707: People are selfish and do not care one iota about you or your problems. I learned that, so I bottled it all up. I don't share anything with anyone, unless I'm particularly low and decide to have a rant here. I mean, even my closest friends don't give two shits. My best male friends don't care cos "lads don't talk about these things" so we never talk about it, and the one time I did one of them actually mocked me. My best girl mate will listen for about two sentences before saying "Well, if it makes you feel better, my life-" before ranting about herself and her issues. My solution? Don't share.

But, that can lead to complications. I find that we all need outlets for our emotions. For instance, for me an escape from reality into fiction (whether it be book, DVD or VG) is a way to express emotions indirectly. I also write and try to transfer what I'm feeling to what I'm writing. Perhaps an outlet is what you need.

Secondly, you may come across as desperate. Nothing people hate more than desperation. Ironic. They don't have the sense to reach out. It's like the shy kid in the corner. People avoid him and mock him because he's different, but they never think to just say hello and see what happens.

Also, try to take the compliment. Like you, when I have expressed frustration at my (so far) lack of a girlfriend, people tell me that it will come in time and that I am handsome and kind and blah blah and any girl would be lucky blah blah and I never believe them because the evidence of girl's behaviour towards me seems to contradict their compliments. Perhaps I, and you, should take them, though, and start viewing ourselves as desirable. If we do that, perhaps others will see us as desirable as well.

Hope this helped.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Indeed, actions reveal more than words. If you are looking for a relationship and something doesn't seem to be happening despite what people say, it is very worth investigating why; definitely something I did in my life and was able to massively improve on.

 

[alexjames2320]

they are hard to find cause a lot of girls and boys search on the wrong type of person you can see a girl with someone that doesn't deserve her and then things get wrong its some decisions that all of us should do right....

 

[Todd]

I definitely wish that I had the answers to this question. But, I believe that it is all in the timing.

 

[cool_breeze]

Well, still have this problem basically. I'm sick right now at home and feel weird. Some girls are texting me and saying they hope I'm ok. None of them are really a gf though.

I can get dates, get kisses, even get some sex. Heck if I went out to a club now there's a decent chance some girl would grab me by the wrist and put my hands on her breasts or something. I have some female friends. I have experience with casual and short term dating and even some of the physical stuff that goes along with that. But real, actual love never seems to come. I've never lived with a girl. I had one girl I was on and off with for a year or 2 but it wasn't really a gf. Basically just a friend but we started fooling around and there became a physical aspect and she would stay the night sometimes.

This issue f--king sucks especially because women seem to like me but none of them really seem right for me to commit to each other for a long period of time and be really close, etc. It always seems just around the corner but then it doesn't come. Some girl will say she likes me and we'll go out a bit, but then we realize she's not right for me or something. It's like some kind of Greek story or something. Women like me but none of them seem right for me. There are 5-6 girls orbiting me right now. I can probably go out on some dates with them, maybe even have sex with 1 of them. It all seems like so much work. Why can't I just meet the right one for me and just get into the groove? I never wanted to be the guy who just has a series of short term things...

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Well, still have this problem basically. I'm sick right now at home and feel weird. Some girls are texting me and saying they hope I'm ok. None of them are really a gf though.

I can get dates, get kisses, even get some sex. Heck if I went out to a club now there's a decent chance some girl would grab me by the wrist and put my hands on her breasts or something. I have some female friends. I have experience with casual and short term dating and even some of the physical stuff that goes along with that. But real, actual love never seems to come. I've never lived with a girl. I had one girl I was on and off with for a year or 2 but it wasn't really a gf. Basically just a friend but we started fooling around and there became a physical aspect and she would stay the night sometimes.

This issue f--king sucks especially because women seem to like me but none of them really seem right for me to commit to each other for a long period of time and be really close, etc. It always seems just around the corner but then it doesn't come. Some girl will say she likes me and we'll go out a bit, but then we realize she's not right for me or something. It's like some kind of Greek story or something. Women like me but none of them seem right for me. There are 5-6 girls orbiting me right now. I can probably go out on some dates with them, maybe even have sex with 1 of them. It all seems like so much work. Why can't I just meet the right one for me and just get into the groove? I never wanted to be the guy who just has a series of short term things...

I hope you get better soon

I wouldn't worry so much. Presumably you enjoyed those sexual encounters? As long as you're not treating every girl you meet like a physical plaything (and you sound far from that attitude) I'd just be happy that women like you and you've got emotionally close enough to do all that stuff with a girl. You've proved that you have the confidence to make the move you need to when the time is right. When you find the right girl, you'll know what to do.

I know what it's like to want to find "The One". I think if you really "follow" that fanatically though, you can expect to be single for a long time. Perhaps it does work (I really hope so, since it's exactly what I've been doing ), but I'm not certain that it does.

I'm practically in the same situation, just minus the sex and kissing and all that stuff. The more I think about it, I get a fair amount of attention from girls, it's more that I haven't met the one girl I really think will be right for me personality-wise.

Though I'm also sort of bullshitting myself there I guess, since when I do meet a really great girl I inevitably get really friendly and then never ask her out

The greatest frustration is that, like you, I reckon I could probably go to a club and "pick up" a girl quite easily, but that's exactly the sort of relationship I don't want (aside from hormonally, sigh).

TL : DR: I know what you mean and it's crappy, but have patience and it'll work out, you're already attracting girls, so you'll eventually meet the one you really want

 

[cool_breeze]

Thanks for the reply. It helped I think. Ya I mean I think something is wrong with our generation basically. Most people are kind of slutty. A lot of serious relationships take a long time to find. And it kind of disgusts me how people just use each other for sex and whatnot.

Ya I've had some success with women, particularly the last few years. I'm still not really getting what I want though. Wow some phone numbers, dates, even sex sometimes. I'm picturing more of a serious thing, some magic, a real commitment. Maybe you're right that I'm building skills for the future or something. It just kind of disgusts me what a game love and sex seem to be. People seem to think it's cool to be slutty and shallow and stuff. I know there are some good girls out there too but just finding chemistry and stuff seems hard... I guess I'm probably doing better than some people but I want real love. Sometimes I can't take it...seeing couples and how much love and sex they must be having.

It's such a paradox. Girls seem to like me but I can't find the RIGHT one.

There's also one girl in particular. She doesn't live where I live but I want to have sex with her so bad. She's really not the greatest girl in the world. But I have a special feeling for her that I can't really ignore. I wonder about all the sex and attention she must be getting sometimes. It drives me crazy sometimes. I really want to have sex with her and give her my love... :/

Well, still have this problem basically. I'm sick right now at home and feel weird. Some girls are texting me and saying they hope I'm ok. None of them are really a gf though.

I can get dates, get kisses, even get some sex. Heck if I went out to a club now there's a decent chance some girl would grab me by the wrist and put my hands on her breasts or something. I have some female friends. I have experience with casual and short term dating and even some of the physical stuff that goes along with that. But real, actual love never seems to come. I've never lived with a girl. I had one girl I was on and off with for a year or 2 but it wasn't really a gf. Basically just a friend but we started fooling around and there became a physical aspect and she would stay the night sometimes.

This issue f--king sucks especially because women seem to like me but none of them really seem right for me to commit to each other for a long period of time and be really close, etc. It always seems just around the corner but then it doesn't come. Some girl will say she likes me and we'll go out a bit, but then we realize she's not right for me or something. It's like some kind of Greek story or something. Women like me but none of them seem right for me. There are 5-6 girls orbiting me right now. I can probably go out on some dates with them, maybe even have sex with 1 of them. It all seems like so much work. Why can't I just meet the right one for me and just get into the groove? I never wanted to be the guy who just has a series of short term things...

I hope you get better soon

I wouldn't worry so much. Presumably you enjoyed those sexual encounters? As long as you're not treating every girl you meet like a physical plaything (and you sound far from that attitude) I'd just be happy that women like you and you've got emotionally close enough to do all that stuff with a girl. You've proved that you have the confidence to make the move you need to when the time is right. When you find the right girl, you'll know what to do.

I know what it's like to want to find "The One". I think if you really "follow" that fanatically though, you can expect to be single for a long time. Perhaps it does work (I really hope so, since it's exactly what I've been doing ), but I'm not certain that it does.

I'm practically in the same situation, just minus the sex and kissing and all that stuff. The more I think about it, I get a fair amount of attention from girls, it's more that I haven't met the one girl I really think will be right for me personality-wise.

Though I'm also sort of bullshitting myself there I guess, since when I do meet a really great girl I inevitably get really friendly and then never ask her out

The greatest frustration is that, like you, I reckon I could probably go to a club and "pick up" a girl quite easily, but that's exactly the sort of relationship I don't want (aside from hormonally, sigh).

TL : DR: I know what you mean and it's crappy, but have patience and it'll work out, you're already attracting girls, so you'll eventually meet the one you really want