Reconnecting With Friends

So, I'm trying to reconcile with a friend who promised they'd be available to talk. But when I tried to meet them in person, they said they were busy with work and moving in the next few weeks. I had tried calling them, but they e-mailed me back so I've been corresponding with them by e-mail and have been too afraid to pick up the phone. They haven't called me back either. At this point, I told them I was leaving the ball in their court and they could let me know if they wanted to meet up when they were free.

In the meantime, I've been trying to meet up with friends I haven't seen in the last two years and was blown off a few months ago. I just sent another invitation today.

I feel very lonely. I'm single and at an age where most of my peers have married. I'm trying not to be a hermit, but at this point, the only people I seem to hang out with is my family. Can anyone give me encouragement or advice to lessen these feelings?

I feel your pain. Due to health issues and relationship changes, I have lost touch with my main group of friends, and feel isolated.

I don't have a magic way to solve it, just keep in mind that people aren't always blowing you off on purpose, they sometimes are just wrapped up in their own honeysuckle. They still like you, they just worry about themselves and don't realize you are being excluded/ignored.

But start with one friend, catch up with them. Then find out if anyone is having a party, as there you can connect with multiple people without having to contact them all. And don't feel like you can't hang out with your partnered friends, they may have someone they want to set you up with!

I have to force myself to go out, sometimes. It is always worth it, even if you only smile at one person. You still got out and interacted with someone.

I'm going through something similar like that. Most of the people my age, a lot of my friends mainly, are now married. It feels like everyone is now waiting for my turn, my family and my friends even - and colleagues gosh. Wish people would get off my back about marriage. I'm kinda tired of dealing with it.

Anyway, because of this I think I have distanced myself from a lot of my friends and even some of my family members because I just don't want to talk about it. I don't think I'm lonely though, cos to be honest, I'd rather be on my own then hear people blabber nonsense.

What Lola said. Sorry I don't have much of good advice to give.. not lately.

*hugs* edamame, hope things will pick up for you.

edamame721 said:

So, I'm trying to reconcile with a friend who promised they'd be available to talk. But when I tried to meet them in person, they said they were busy with work and moving in the next few weeks. I had tried calling them, but they e-mailed me back so I've been corresponding with them by e-mail and have been too afraid to pick up the phone. They haven't called me back either. At this point, I told them I was leaving the ball in their court and they could let me know if they wanted to meet up when they were free.

In the meantime, I've been trying to meet up with friends I haven't seen in the last two years and was blown off a few months ago. I just sent another invitation today.

I feel very lonely. I'm single and at an age where most of my peers have married. I'm trying not to be a hermit, but at this point, the only people I seem to hang out with is my family. Can anyone give me encouragement or advice to lessen these feelings?

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It's okay to be without so called friends most are only fair weather friends so what are you missing? People are busy with their lives and perhaps you might not be better off wasting time looking for friends rather find an interest that you enjoy that will also keep your mind from falling into idleness.
If you have a decent family you are a lucky person to be able to spend time with them.
People move on and so should you. stop feeling sorry for yourself. get out and find a cause to help others.
I know what you are going through, been there and done that.
I have learned to look at self pity as a waste of time. Don't worry about looking for love in the wrong places, love yourself, respect yourself and help others in need. Keep from falling into what your mind is telling you. I believe the mind can bring us down one minuet and up the next. Watch your thoughts and don't fall into those that bring you down or up, just stay on an even keel.
The mind will either make us or break us. Just let it do what it wants and relax by not being pulled into either. What goes up will go down like a yoyo. Stay calm no matter what it makes you feel, don't fall into either. Catch those that pull you down and don't go along with it.
Good luck

Thanks for all the responses!

LonelyLola > I think I was feeling disappointed, but it's true that I don't think people try to exclude me on purpose.

Ladyforsaken > *hugs* My family has also been making some noise about how I should get married soon, but I think they do it out of the fact that they hope someone will take care of me (and vice-versa) in the future.

Reloadlife23 > It was hard to hear you say to stop pitying myself and I realize I have. Still, I do want to maintain/make new friendships, so I will continue to make efforts to do so, but not let it bother me too much if things don't come to fruition. Improving myself is always something I can/should do and I agree with you about trying to control your own emotions and not letting them control you.

Easy there. There's nothing wrong with venting about things, and you obviously came here looking for solutions. As much as I hate to admit it to myself, relationships are a two way street and friends should take the same amount of effort in contacting me as I do for them. They have phones, too. I think everybody deals with friendships drifting apart. If somebody isn't placing the same amount of effort in contacting you, maybe it's time to build new friendships with other people.

Not that I'm telling you to write people off of your life, just that maybe it's time to be proactive in a different way.