My fate is being revealed

I am almost 36 male, live alone, no friends and even my parents have abandoned me. No hope for me to find a girlfriend, I tried hundreds of time and I'm just burnt out being rejected.
I seem to have developed social anxiety as well as a result of people mistreating me.
Slowly my fate is being revealed now, and never would I have believed during my childhood that I would spend my adult years in such misery for probably rest of my life.
My life is so suffocating.

I can't say whether you're right or wrong about spending the rest of your life being miserable, but prophecies of the personal nature are self-fulfilling.

The only important difference between the many people who have had a doomed future is that some of them have decided to fight back, while others have accepted their dark fate and let the misery in completely. I'm a fighter. That doesn't mean I'll win in the end, but I'll always fight. I hope you will too.

I'm sorry you're in so much pain. Feel free to elaborate on your problems. I'm sure you'll get advice or sympathy if you do.

Hawx sounds like a fighter to me as he has tried hundreds of times to find a girlfriend. But there can come a time when fighting becomes so exhausting and life becomes so heavy that the fight goes out of you.
I can't offer much in the way of advice but can offer a hug and understanding.

Taking a break is good sometimes. It's necessary. I just hope he never gives up fighting for happiness.

You should go see hookers to obtain the intimacy you need. That can save your life, believe it or not.

Locke said:

Taking a break is good sometimes. It's necessary. I just hope he never gives up fighting for happiness.

Click to expand...

I do too.

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Hawx79 said:

I am almost 36 male, live alone, no friends and even my parents have abandoned me. No hope for me to find a girlfriend, I tried hundreds of time and I'm just burnt out being rejected.
I seem to have developed social anxiety as well as a result of people mistreating me.
Slowly my fate is being revealed now, and never would I have believed during my childhood that I would spend my adult years in such misery for probably rest of my life.
My life is so suffocating.

Click to expand...

You mention trying hundreds of times and getting rejected. Is that trying to meet new people and trying new things ?

Or meeting a woman ?

Don't be unhappy because you can't find a girlfriend. Most of them are more trouble than they are worth. If you have a job then I presume you have money. You should take up new hobbies, exciting stuff to get the heart pumping. Forget about women for awhile. There is a world out there to enjoy. Book an holiday, go somewhere you have always wanted to go. Have something to look forward to.

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Stonely said:

You should go see hookers to obtain the intimacy you need. That can save your life, believe it or not.

Click to expand...

True. Easier and keeps life simple.

Triple Bogey said:

You mention trying hundreds of times and getting rejected. Is that trying to meet new people and trying new things ?

Or meeting a woman ?

Don't be unhappy because you can't find a girlfriend. Most of them are more trouble than they are worth. If you have a job then I presume you have money. You should take up new hobbies, exciting stuff to get the heart pumping. Forget about women for awhile. There is a world out there to enjoy. Book an holiday, go somewhere you have always wanted to go. Have something to look forward to.

Click to expand...

Yes new women each time.
I already do all these things. I do sports, travel on my own and have other hobbies at home. I really tried to enjoy life on my own as much possible but the urge just gets stronger each year but I feel I'm running out of time now with my age.
I'm willing to put a lot of effort into it, but no women respects me and some even hate me on first sight. Its a humiliating pain each time to get rejected.

Hawx79 said:

I'm willing to put a lot of effort into it, but no women respects me and some even hate me on first sight. Its a humiliating pain each time to get rejected.

Click to expand...

Just because a woman doesn't go out with you, does NOT means she is disrespecting you. Same with hatred, how on earth can you determine whether or not someone hates you at first sight? You can't.

All you can do is keep trying, but I suspect you should probably work on yourself and find the reason why you are being rejected.

Hawx79 said:

Triple Bogey said:

You mention trying hundreds of times and getting rejected. Is that trying to meet new people and trying new things ?

Or meeting a woman ?

Don't be unhappy because you can't find a girlfriend. Most of them are more trouble than they are worth. If you have a job then I presume you have money. You should take up new hobbies, exciting stuff to get the heart pumping. Forget about women for awhile. There is a world out there to enjoy. Book an holiday, go somewhere you have always wanted to go. Have something to look forward to.

Click to expand...

Yes new women each time.
I already do all these things. I do sports, travel on my own and have other hobbies at home. I really tried to enjoy life on my own as much possible but the urge just gets stronger each year but I feel I'm running out of time now with my age.
I'm willing to put a lot of effort into it, but no women respects me and some even hate me on first sight. Its a humiliating pain each time to get rejected.

Click to expand...

Sounds like you should be enjoying your life. You have hobbies, you travel. Why are you so unhappy ?

Something my older brother said 'be careful what you wish for'
Unless you meet a really wonderful woman (and all of them get snapped up pretty quickly) then women aren't really worth it. You just get a whole new set of problems. You won't be any more happier if you meet a woman. If you have want some physical stuff then pay for it.

I would concentrate on enjoying your life and meeting new people as friends. Forget all about a relationship. You have no control over it. A woman has to like you. If they don't there isn't much you can do about it. Don't be miserable all your life because women can't see what a nice guy you are !

TheRealCallie said:

All you can do is keep trying, but I suspect you should probably work on yourself and find the reason why you are being rejected.

Click to expand...

The reason could simply be that some people are born more or less attractive than others.

Women make it easy for those they're attracted to while being standoffish and passive aggressive towards men they're not. Conversation flows easily when the other party is willing to take an active role, ask questions and elaborate on answers. It always goes horribly when they aren't. His social skills could be fine.

In the last 15 years I could count the number of times on one hand a member of the opposite sex in my age group, who wasn't already a friend, started a non-work related conversation with me. Less than 5 instances. It's so rare I remember every instance distinctly, like it was some major life event.

ardour said:

TheRealCallie said:

All you can do is keep trying, but I suspect you should probably work on yourself and find the reason why you are being rejected.

Click to expand...

The reason could simply be that some people are born more or less attractive than others.

Click to expand...

Yeah, I don't buy that. EVERYONE has someone out there that will find them attractive. Maybe you're just talking/hanging around the wrong kind of people....OR, maybe you need to work on yourself a little more. Everyone has something they could work on.

Well, at least you're not worried you might accidentally destroy the world, by finding things that might be the 7 thunders, or key to the bottomless pit.

If you have a job and are willing to take care of someone, then you have hope of finding a girlfriend.

Life is short and meant to be lived in service of others to invest in the next life / heaven.

Try not waste time being depressed. You'll waste enough of it trying to find someone / fit in.

Computers give us infinite choice, which is great for women, but tough on guys. By contrast, Native American's who still practice pre-arranged marriage are happy.

TheRealCallie said:

ardour said:

TheRealCallie said:

All you can do is keep trying, but I suspect you should probably work on yourself and find the reason why you are being rejected.

Click to expand...

The reason could simply be that some people are born more or less attractive than others.

Click to expand...

Yeah, I don't buy that. EVERYONE has someone out there that will find them attractive. Maybe you're just talking/hanging around the wrong kind of people....OR, maybe you need to work on yourself a little more. Everyone has something they could work on.

Click to expand...

Many people are let down by the clothes they wear. The women I see who are over weight and they wear a tight fitting tee shirt that doesn't cover their belly so you see all sorts of stuff you don't want to.

Triple Bogey said:

Hawx79 said:

Triple Bogey said:

You mention trying hundreds of times and getting rejected. Is that trying to meet new people and trying new things ?

Or meeting a woman ?

Don't be unhappy because you can't find a girlfriend. Most of them are more trouble than they are worth. If you have a job then I presume you have money. You should take up new hobbies, exciting stuff to get the heart pumping. Forget about women for awhile. There is a world out there to enjoy. Book an holiday, go somewhere you have always wanted to go. Have something to look forward to.

Click to expand...

Yes new women each time.
I already do all these things. I do sports, travel on my own and have other hobbies at home. I really tried to enjoy life on my own as much possible but the urge just gets stronger each year but I feel I'm running out of time now with my age.
I'm willing to put a lot of effort into it, but no women respects me and some even hate me on first sight. Its a humiliating pain each time to get rejected.

Click to expand...

Sounds like you should be enjoying your life. You have hobbies, you travel. Why are you so unhappy ?

Click to expand...

Its a strong desire I cant slide it off so easily. Maybe you're right, women aren't worth it and bring another set of problems but I don't care, I simply can't deny my feelings.

ardour said:

TheRealCallie said:

All you can do is keep trying, but I suspect you should probably work on yourself and find the reason why you are being rejected.

Click to expand...

The reason could simply be that some people are born more or less attractive than others.

Click to expand...

Yes that is the reason for all my rejection.
I know I'm a nice and interesting person but to women I'm still ugly beyond acceptance, even the nicer ones reject me on sight. I don't want to be cynical but it seems to me that women only seem to take an interest in a guy when he looks good at first. But since no woman don't want to even take the time to get to know me for more then a day I don't even get a shot at it.

Hawx79 said:

Triple Bogey said:

Hawx79 said:

Triple Bogey said:

You mention trying hundreds of times and getting rejected. Is that trying to meet new people and trying new things ?

Or meeting a woman ?

Don't be unhappy because you can't find a girlfriend. Most of them are more trouble than they are worth. If you have a job then I presume you have money. You should take up new hobbies, exciting stuff to get the heart pumping. Forget about women for awhile. There is a world out there to enjoy. Book an holiday, go somewhere you have always wanted to go. Have something to look forward to.

Click to expand...

Yes new women each time.
I already do all these things. I do sports, travel on my own and have other hobbies at home. I really tried to enjoy life on my own as much possible but the urge just gets stronger each year but I feel I'm running out of time now with my age.
I'm willing to put a lot of effort into it, but no women respects me and some even hate me on first sight. Its a humiliating pain each time to get rejected.

Click to expand...

Sounds like you should be enjoying your life. You have hobbies, you travel. Why are you so unhappy ?

Click to expand...

Its a strong desire I cant slide it off so easily. Maybe you're right, women aren't worth it and bring another set of problems but I don't care, I simply can't deny my feelings.

ardour said:

TheRealCallie said:

All you can do is keep trying, but I suspect you should probably work on yourself and find the reason why you are being rejected.

Click to expand...

The reason could simply be that some people are born more or less attractive than others.

Click to expand...

Yes that is the reason for all my rejection.
I know I'm a nice and interesting person but to women I'm still ugly beyond acceptance, even the nicer ones reject me on sight. I don't want to be cynical but it seems to me that women only seem to take an interest in a guy when he looks good at first. But since no woman don't want to even take the time to get to know me for more then a day I don't even get a shot at it.

Click to expand...

I have the same problem. I don't ever get a chance with a woman. It's not like I have messed things up in the past. The dates I have gone on have been good. I haven't said the wrong thing or made a arse of myself. The women simply choose some other bloke. Always seems to happen.

I agree with what you say about women.
Are you really that ugly though ?
Is there anything you can do ?
New wardrobe ? Better clothes ? Hitting the gym ? New haircut ?

Triple Bogey said:

Are you really that ugly though ?

Click to expand...

No one is ever as ugly as they say/imply they are....

Triple Bogey said:

I have the same problem. I don't ever get a chance with a woman. It's not like I have messed things up in the past. The dates I have gone on have been good. I haven't said the wrong thing or made a arse of myself. The women simply choose some other bloke. Always seems to happen.

I agree with what you say about women.
Are you really that ugly though ?
Is there anything you can do ?
New wardrobe ? Better clothes ? Hitting the gym ? New haircut ?

Click to expand...

Yeah I am really ugly.
I do play football, martial arts, work out and run a lot. So I am in good shape. But my hairline has been receding a lot. It's just my face women find ugly.
I think if I had friends to hang out with my chances would increase of meeting someone, since women like guys who are in a group.

Hawx79 said:

Triple Bogey said:

I have the same problem. I don't ever get a chance with a woman. It's not like I have messed things up in the past. The dates I have gone on have been good. I haven't said the wrong thing or made a arse of myself. The women simply choose some other bloke. Always seems to happen.

I agree with what you say about women.
Are you really that ugly though ?
Is there anything you can do ?
New wardrobe ? Better clothes ? Hitting the gym ? New haircut ?

Click to expand...

Yeah I am really ugly.
I do play football, martial arts, work out and run a lot. So I am in good shape. But my hairline has been receding a lot. It's just my face women find ugly.
I think if I had friends to hang out with my chances would increase of meeting someone, since women like guys who are in a group.

Click to expand...

Who cares about hair....and I won't believe you're ugly until I see prove.

But thanks for telling me what women like, now I know to only like guys in a group.

Hawx79 said:

Triple Bogey said:

I have the same problem. I don't ever get a chance with a woman. It's not like I have messed things up in the past. The dates I have gone on have been good. I haven't said the wrong thing or made a arse of myself. The women simply choose some other bloke. Always seems to happen.

I agree with what you say about women.
Are you really that ugly though ?
Is there anything you can do ?
New wardrobe ? Better clothes ? Hitting the gym ? New haircut ?

Click to expand...

Yeah I am really ugly.
I do play football, martial arts, work out and run a lot. So I am in good shape. But my hairline has been receding a lot. It's just my face women find ugly.
I think if I had friends to hang out with my chances would increase of meeting someone, since women like guys who are in a group.

Click to expand...

Oh well sounds you are messed then !

Your best bet is to forget about women and concentrate on finding some friends which is a lot easier than meeting woman.

A dirty secret women don't like to mention is that many aren't that selective with physical looks. It is, however, a convenient thing to point to when putting a man down, when women feel it is politically correct to say so. (What people say to men they dislike should be disregarded or at best treated with extreme skepticism.)

I'm in the receding hairline club now (yay over 30), but I have a thick head of hair. If I groomed I could probably hide it better, but aside from marking me as officially Old, I don't see the big deal. Younger men with receding hairlines get with women easily enough...