ablounge24x7
Member
So I am 18 years old, and yet I wouldn't mind being married at all. I am very paranoid when it comes to anything, and sometimes I think being married/being in a serious relationship could solve most of those problems. 2 years ago, I ended up being in an awful relationship, where he abused me: physically and mentally. It was horrible. I even tried to kill myself a few times because of him. It got to a point where I had to transfer schools and start life all over again. Don't get me wrong, I like where I am now (sort of)...but I always feel this pang of loneliness and sadness, without having a man to tell you he loves you (dads don't count) or call you, or tell you how pretty you are or how much you mean to him. No one to brag about, no one to hang onto when you go out or when you're crying...none of that. No one to bring you roses after every show or to take you out when you deserve something. My point being, all you have is yourself- and sometimes that just isn't enough.
I know that I have a few years ahead of me, or that I'm to busy in this point in my life to even think something like this...but I am very lonely, and very confused.
After that guy I just mentioned, I tried to start talking to other guys. I think the number has risen to over 20 in the past 2 years. However, they ALL cut things off. The whole, "I don't want to be in a relationship right now" card; but then they turn round 2 months later and low and behold, they're dating some other chick. Sometimes I think that guys don't talk to me, not just because of my HORRIBLE insecurity problems, but because of my looks. There are days when I think that I am one of the prettiest persons on earth, and others when I could kill myself because I don't think I make the grade. I don't know how other girls my age, who are very pretty and skinny (I wear a size 10/12, generally), have very attractive boyfriends...and I don't. Is it because of my personality, or because of my size?
...I don't understand. I just want 1 guy to last me for the rest of my life. The whole "Prince Charming" ordeal; the man of my dreams. He must exist, right? With 6 billion people in the word, there must be. Right?
Am I crazy?
I know that I have a few years ahead of me, or that I'm to busy in this point in my life to even think something like this...but I am very lonely, and very confused.
After that guy I just mentioned, I tried to start talking to other guys. I think the number has risen to over 20 in the past 2 years. However, they ALL cut things off. The whole, "I don't want to be in a relationship right now" card; but then they turn round 2 months later and low and behold, they're dating some other chick. Sometimes I think that guys don't talk to me, not just because of my HORRIBLE insecurity problems, but because of my looks. There are days when I think that I am one of the prettiest persons on earth, and others when I could kill myself because I don't think I make the grade. I don't know how other girls my age, who are very pretty and skinny (I wear a size 10/12, generally), have very attractive boyfriends...and I don't. Is it because of my personality, or because of my size?
...I don't understand. I just want 1 guy to last me for the rest of my life. The whole "Prince Charming" ordeal; the man of my dreams. He must exist, right? With 6 billion people in the word, there must be. Right?
Am I crazy?