In the past, AKA high school years, I didn't really have any friends to hang out with. Now, at age 23, I have several circles of friends that I regularly (or semi-regularly) see at least once a week (usually more), and I immensely enjoy their company. Having made this 360-degree turn in friendships, I have noticed a very interesting trend in being alone vs being lonely:
Back when I had few/no friends, I would usually spend my nights at home, on a computer. BUT, even though I was alone, I would rarely feel lonely! I would play video games, watch nostalgic movies, read certain Wikipedia articles out of interest, research career options, read books from time to time, and dabble in certain solitary hobbies/skills, such as programming, 3D-animation, and of course, think about the future glory of college years (at least that's how I thought it would turn out). All of these things would easily eat up a given night, and I wouldn't think about the lack of friends that much. In other words, I didn't need other people to feel fulfilled (though whether or not it was socially healthy is another matter entirely).
Fast forward to now: I have an ample number of friends, and depending on school/work schedule, I see (some of) them at least once a week. We usually do fun and memorable stuff together, and I have fun when I'm with them. But, when I am by myself, I get bored/restless/lose motivation/get mopey/etc much more quickly. Its gotten to the point where I check my phone/facebook/other social outlets for updates every 1 minute if I'm bored enough, which is kinda often these days when I'm not with friends.
I've been trying to come up with reasons as to why this ironic 360-degree turnaround took place, and here are some I came up with:
Can anyone else relate to any of this, or have any related epiphanies to add?
Back when I had few/no friends, I would usually spend my nights at home, on a computer. BUT, even though I was alone, I would rarely feel lonely! I would play video games, watch nostalgic movies, read certain Wikipedia articles out of interest, research career options, read books from time to time, and dabble in certain solitary hobbies/skills, such as programming, 3D-animation, and of course, think about the future glory of college years (at least that's how I thought it would turn out). All of these things would easily eat up a given night, and I wouldn't think about the lack of friends that much. In other words, I didn't need other people to feel fulfilled (though whether or not it was socially healthy is another matter entirely).
Fast forward to now: I have an ample number of friends, and depending on school/work schedule, I see (some of) them at least once a week. We usually do fun and memorable stuff together, and I have fun when I'm with them. But, when I am by myself, I get bored/restless/lose motivation/get mopey/etc much more quickly. Its gotten to the point where I check my phone/facebook/other social outlets for updates every 1 minute if I'm bored enough, which is kinda often these days when I'm not with friends.
I've been trying to come up with reasons as to why this ironic 360-degree turnaround took place, and here are some I came up with:
- Back in the high school years, I always had college to look forward to, so this may have brightened my overall outlook; then again, now I have grad school to look forward to, but the same excitement isn't there.
- Back in the high school years, I got really interested in various career routes, so this led to me taking up related hobbies on my own. Now, my career choice is fairly set, and its not something that I would really consider a 'hobby', in the sense of researching it in my free non-academic time.
- Finally, even though I have friends now, I'm still more or less lacking in sexual and romantic relationships... any developments here are usually a major source of my current ups and downs.
Can anyone else relate to any of this, or have any related epiphanies to add?