bonnie84
Active member
after i joined here .. i have hesitated to write something on this forum for
some reasons.
first.. maybe u all will find out my broken english.
im sure will make many misunderstood, mistakes.
also hard to express my thoughts in english.
although there are such difficulties, i chose this forum.
cuz ... hmm.. i think i have some fears to talk something about me with
same Koreans...
anyway, i dont think it is important thing.
i like to stay on here.. i hope to be friends with this people...
second thing is... i couldnt find where could i start to say...
which categories, about what, how...
im still afraid to write something, write in english..
but i make my mind to try to write....
well...
how can i start to talk... about what..
i think.. i live in happy now.
good family.. my hubby.. son...
honestly, i was not good person when i was more young.
maybe i was one of bad teenager who elder used to say.
didnt study hard.. used to be be absent without leave...
met boys.. back home late... used to defy my parents
drink.. smoke... i did everything which forbidden...
(im so sorry my mom...T.T)
i remember my father was very conservative person.
but i dont want to blame him now.
i know it was his own way to love me now.
but.. in those days, i didnt know.. i hated him.. i didnt like to go home early.
there was so many reason to do.. but i guess i dont need to write all of them..
maybe i brought it on myself.
i raped by some boys who i used to met..
after that days, they used to rape me again and again for some month.
i dont know how i thoughts..
i couldnt tell it someone.. even i couldnt leave them..
if i left them, i thought i didnt have anyone...
i know it was so stupid thoughts now.
i was such stupid person.
since that time... i met pretty many boys and men..
who just wanted my body for long time.
i thought i was broken anyway..
i didnt care who they are..
cuz when i was alone in my room, i felt i was crazy.. so small...
i didnt know how to make real relations...with others.
i broke every chance to make my life more good.
always i needed someone.. who could make me feel not alone.
but... there were no one who thought me friend or human..
i didnt care of it.. cuz i could be with someone.
i coudlnt go univ.
i couldnt get good job.
after i became adult, worked part timer at day time,
when night time i looked for someone who could stay with me.
it was not much difficult thing..
since when, i liked to leave such life.
but.. it was not easy to leave.
i addicted such life already.. for some years...
but one day.. when i worked i met one man.
i worked at convenience store.
he was customer.
i can remember his warm eyes..and soft smile still..
i never forget it.
aww.. almost 1 hour 40 mins ..i spent for this thread.
as i told... really hard to write in english..
i will write the rest again on this thread tomorrow.
cuz too late time here.
sorry about poor thread.
some reasons.
first.. maybe u all will find out my broken english.
im sure will make many misunderstood, mistakes.
also hard to express my thoughts in english.
although there are such difficulties, i chose this forum.
cuz ... hmm.. i think i have some fears to talk something about me with
same Koreans...
anyway, i dont think it is important thing.
i like to stay on here.. i hope to be friends with this people...
second thing is... i couldnt find where could i start to say...
which categories, about what, how...
im still afraid to write something, write in english..
but i make my mind to try to write....
well...
how can i start to talk... about what..
i think.. i live in happy now.
good family.. my hubby.. son...
honestly, i was not good person when i was more young.
maybe i was one of bad teenager who elder used to say.
didnt study hard.. used to be be absent without leave...
met boys.. back home late... used to defy my parents
drink.. smoke... i did everything which forbidden...
(im so sorry my mom...T.T)
i remember my father was very conservative person.
but i dont want to blame him now.
i know it was his own way to love me now.
but.. in those days, i didnt know.. i hated him.. i didnt like to go home early.
there was so many reason to do.. but i guess i dont need to write all of them..
maybe i brought it on myself.
i raped by some boys who i used to met..
after that days, they used to rape me again and again for some month.
i dont know how i thoughts..
i couldnt tell it someone.. even i couldnt leave them..
if i left them, i thought i didnt have anyone...
i know it was so stupid thoughts now.
i was such stupid person.
since that time... i met pretty many boys and men..
who just wanted my body for long time.
i thought i was broken anyway..
i didnt care who they are..
cuz when i was alone in my room, i felt i was crazy.. so small...
i didnt know how to make real relations...with others.
i broke every chance to make my life more good.
always i needed someone.. who could make me feel not alone.
but... there were no one who thought me friend or human..
i didnt care of it.. cuz i could be with someone.
i coudlnt go univ.
i couldnt get good job.
after i became adult, worked part timer at day time,
when night time i looked for someone who could stay with me.
it was not much difficult thing..
since when, i liked to leave such life.
but.. it was not easy to leave.
i addicted such life already.. for some years...
but one day.. when i worked i met one man.
i worked at convenience store.
he was customer.
i can remember his warm eyes..and soft smile still..
i never forget it.
aww.. almost 1 hour 40 mins ..i spent for this thread.
as i told... really hard to write in english..
i will write the rest again on this thread tomorrow.
cuz too late time here.
sorry about poor thread.