Alone for life.

[ucxb]

It takes time and effort to meet and "make" friends, it can be a life long endeavour that feels like work...
I just hope for a place of my own again so I can have a canine companion again.

 

[ardour]

The last therapist I had kept telling me I just needed to get laid and he even suggested I go to some kind of Chinese social club in my neighborhood because he claimed that it was easy to pick up Chinese girls because they were into white men.

LOL, what kind of sleazebag therapist is he?

 

[Adrolak]

Theglasscell seems to have a really crappy therapist.Perhaps finding another driving motivation for you would be a good thing, it allows you to place your passion and such into another place, and then things tend to fall into line. I mean nobody should be alone for life, that's not fair. Your therapist telling you to essentially turn off and ignore a VITAL AND IRREMOVABLE ASPECT OF THE HUMAN PSYCHE seems to be a little extreme, insensitive, and hurtful. She's asking you to do the impossible. Perhaps it was her way of inciting you to go out and try something more? I don't know. Finding something to drive you will often put you into a position where you are more likely to run into like-minded, similar people who are more likely to be interested in going for a relationship with you than some random person at a bar. Clubbing, etc, is literally just like casting a net into the ocean, a very small net.

 

[Regumika]

I am very happy that you are still holding your head up high Tiina. Keep it up and dont lose hope.

I recently had a conversation (not with anyone on the forums). The state of the relationship today is all about 'pain' and 'risk'. the 'seeker' (in this case - you) fears the risk of being hurt by a possible candidate (based on experience by society) because you CANT know their motive no matter how much they assure you. Therefore you are required to take the chance that you won't be hurt, because their motive is honest and true. However, that puts YOU at risk to be hurt.

Turn it around. This time you choose not to take the risk because of common conclusions by taking the risk (the seeker is usually taken advantage of). But because you chose not to engage in such relationship, the candidate automatically suffers since they are also looking for a relationship (which the steps of is ruined by society).

In summary. Female is skeptical of male's intentions, society shows that women are usually the one with the short stick (therefore usually the one that is hurt). However, because females are skeptical, genuine males are shafted because of the statistic.

There is no win/win scenario. Risks HAS to be taken. People WILL get hurt. But if you know you it is going to hurt, you can better prepare for it.

I don't know what steps you are taking to not be lonely (sounds like you are trying quite a bit). Just know that I'm not suggesting you to throw yourself out there with no thought on consequence... but I am saying, risk of being hurt is probably required.