Am I taking 'love' and 'life' too seriously?

[Dear-_-Tragedy]

I am at uni, just finished my first year. I have met someone at uni and have been with them for 6 months needless to say I have fallen in 'love'. I am about to enter a summer of doing very little. My course is fairly simple so leaves a lot of time doing nothing which leads to thinking. Constantly thinking about my life and just generally thinking about the past, present and future.

I question a lot of things on a daily basis, thoughts are constantly rushing through my head. I used to be cool and calm and chill about life but now I seem to over-think everything leading to assumptions about my girlfriend's intentions. I worry about falling in love when I have only witnessed bad things as a result of 'love'. My parents split up when I was young, my parents have then proceeded to nearly break up with their new partners on a few occasions. A lot of my friends have broken up with their girlfriends and I asked for advice from one of them about it and he replied "love doesn't last, it will end you just have to accept it" maybe he is a cynical ******* like my girlfriend said when I told her this.

I listen to the wrong music, music that says all women are liars and cheats. This has made me cautious and has allowed me to avoid getting hurt. But maybe it has clouded my judgement, maybe they aren't all like this especially my girlfriend. I just have fears that one day I will see her with someone else behind my back. But maybe these are just fears and nothing else.

I feel like I should take my life a day at a time without thinking too much about the future and where my relationship is going and just focus on my career, when I have a stable career then see if she is still around, then I will know that she 'loves' me (obviously I won't ignore her, she will help me through uni as I will help her). I just feel like she is still hiding a piece of herself away from me and I have to really try to get though the last 'wall'.

I have thoughts of spending the rest of my life with this girl and I know I 'love' her, but I need to know what her intentions are too and I feel like she is keeping her intentions from me because it doesn't involve me; I don't want to end up like my parents. I feel like after uni we will have jobs away from each other and she won't have time for me. I don't want this at all but I don't want to follow her like a dog compromising my career.

Does any of this make any sense or am I just crazy

I believe this song adequately describes my thoughts, please listen to the lyrics.

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[Lonesome Crow]

Yes...sometimes or a lot of times, if you take it too serious....it'll stress you out.
Lighten up a little or a lot.

Yes...music can have a profound impac in your pyhic.
Sound effects our moods and brain waves alot more than you realize.
Plus the messages that's being heard over and over again.
All of that gets stored in our subconsious mind.
So you're basically programming yourself.

Kind of like if you let people rent space in your head.
Kind of like you're parants letting you stuff over and over again.
Kind of like if you go to church and hear a preacher
Kind of like if you get bullied or picked on all the time.
Kind of like if you join a cult...lol

Once you buy into a message or it gets played over and over again...especailly if you're emotions.
You'll run with it...then it'll become a belief.
Especailly if you're playing it over and over again...even without the song. it's bascailly how you believe, now.

that song had became like a belief system to you.
You're starting to believe in that.
That's why some say...life immiate art.

becuase most humans live in accordance to their beliefs.
It's like a self fullfiling prophacy.

Thats why people say...becareful what you feed your mind. Trash in...trash out.
Candi in...candi out.

Have you heard of some saying from Bruce Lee?
Empty out your cup before you can fill your cup.
He's talking your mind...

Yeah dude, stop listening to songs of chicks breaking your heart or emo songs.
I ma wondering why all these creazy bitches are poping in my life and leaving scratches on my back.lmao
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[maybelazy]

Yeah, I'd agree with that.

Sometimes I think having too much time to think can almost be a bad thing, cause its hard to stay positive the whole time so eventually some negative thoughts will happen.

I hope it works out for you and your girl

 

[Dear-_-Tragedy]

@Lonesome Crow

You are a complete legend this is exactly what I needed. I have even told this to myself but it is hard for me to keep away. See there's this saying "Bayside is a cult" I need to stop listening to it, I was an angry young teenager when I first listened to them and didn't even understand their lyrics until recent times. I will just avoid their songs about girls unless it has a positive message.

I found this image today, I laughed and I was like 'this is me' http://media-cache4.pinterest.com/upload/82824080617302249_ZQokwUeW_b.jpg

I know I should just ignore these thoughts and just enjoy life but I don't want to be shocked one day when I realise she was just using me for whatever. I don't want to make the same mistakes others have and I hope I don't look back on my time at uni and regret my decisions.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Maybe you might try listening to songs that
Has positive messages.
Use the process to work for you instead of against you..
Such as Fucken Perfect by Pink.

In the mean time just love her, be with her, enjoy her
her love, have fun with her. Be in the moment with her.
Fill your mind with these happy moments.
Create happy moments with her.
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[Dear-_-Tragedy]

I will it is just hard when my mind doesn't just stop thinking. I mean some of the songs Bayside have made have positive messages (like 'no one understands') so yeah I just need to avoid the bad ones even if they sound good the lyrics can just get to you.

We are supposed to be going out to some clubs tonight with everyone but I need to get into a better mindset (the one I had in the beginning) to have a good time, I suppose she is slowly getting fed up of how I act I just need to snap out of it. I have told her this is my first major relationship and to just have patience with me (she is almost 2 years older).

Wish I could just clear my mind and be myself again ughh. Thank you for your help, you seem quite knowledgeable

 

[LoneKiller]

Trust your girlfriend. If it doesn't work out, continue reading further. You aren't crazy. It's perfectly natural to keep your guard up when every other relationship you see crumbles. However, you can't go through life assuming that your relationships will fail based on other people's relationships.

What you need to do is forget about the success or lack of with other people's relationships. There is no way that you can base your success level of relationships based on their's. There are far too many factors to consider.

Have confidence, and take some chances. Eventually you will begin to feel more relaxed and not hung up on other peoples success or failure. You aren't them, and they aren't you. If you strike out with one relationship, take what you have learned and remember it. By doing this, you will become more comfortable and not repeat mistakes you may have made with the previous women.

By posting here you must have some sort of confidence in our ability to help you, otherwise you wouldn't have taken the time to join. Use that confidence in your relationship seeking.

 

[Stranger]

Hey Dear Tragedy,

It can be hard to trust people when you've seen love fall apart before your eyes. But to have any chance of keeping your gilfriend, you must trust her, and be sincere yourself as well. Just be calm and don't worry about anything - live it out one day at a time. Don't think about what might or might not happen, or what your girlfriend might or might not be doing. Nothing makes women run away faster than men who act controlling or obsessive. We are all just people, and you must already know she is good, if you're dating her now. Just listen to her, do things together, be nice to her, and everything will be fine!

 

[integrand]

I know exactly how you are feeling: always questioning your significant other's intentions. Take this from someone who has been cheated on... if you truly feel in your gut that something is wrong or that she isn't being completely honest with you, then chances are there probably is something that isn't quite right that you may need to talk to your girlfriend about.

My relationship, among many others, have all resulted in me being lied to in some way or another. I basically don't trust anyone with my heart anymore. If you ever need to talk, I am here for you.

Have a nice day.