Ambiguous Relationship Advice

[Sway]

Well I was bored one night, and decided to look up on what people write about getting girls and that stuff ... and i dug up so much contradicting points of view that I slapped my laptop in many WTF moments. anyways...for example,, one article says "if you like a girl, then muster the courage and ask, it's better that you ask or else she'll think ur not interested and move on" and then the next article says, "You should never ask a girl straight up, it kills chemistry, and makes you sound needy, just let make it so she asks u" ---> WTF?

There are quite a lot of others, but that was the most confusing pair of them all. :club: Maybe some1 with experience can validate any points on this, cuz I'm totally lost on how to approach a girl I like now,..@_@

 

[Badjedidude]

It depends on the person, really. People are sooooooo different and come in so many variations that in truth, ANYTHING could possibly work.

I was lucky enough to bag a one-nighter once just by walking up to a girl and straight-up telling her I wanted sex and nothing else. (I might have been a bit drunk ) Amazingly, she was into it. Too bad she was in town just for the weekend. -_- However, there have also been times when I've tried walking up and asking a girl to lunch or something and she's totally shut me down.

I guess the main thing you should take away from what I'm saying is....don't worry so much about what techniques or approaches to use. What matters is your composure, your attitude/self-confidence, and your ability to make small talk. Just go out and TRY. I GUARANTEE that you're going to get rejected a few times...that's just how it works. But bit by bit you'll start meeting chicks, and you'll get progressively better as you go.

Just go and try it. Don't worry about strategies or plans. JUST DO IT!!

----Steve

 

[mintymint]

Just go and try it. Don't worry about strategies or plans. JUST DO IT!!

----Steve

Amen BJD. No matter how unbelievably freaking smart you may be, no matter how many permutations you run through in your head, there is ABSOLUTELY no substitute for experience. You can spend a week racking your brain out over something, but it pales in comparison to a night of putting yourself out there

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I guess what the article is trying to say is approch her in style with charm.
Staight up pretaining to this..."Hey baby, you have the pretties eyes i wanna crawl into forever,... let's fresia" is probably not
recommended. It's fucken common sense.

Then again..I've also had women approched me and told me straight up what they want....
Handed me thier numbers without me even asking them or invite me back to her place becuase she wants to use my body
for the night...stright up. OBVIOUSLY...I'm not sitting at home when this happens.

If you're single and you see a woman you like...You have nothing to loose if you aprroch her. You might never see her again.
Even if you do see her again...you'll never know unless you ask. Unless you're luckie like me, women approch me or ask me out.
Then again I chit chat with people male or female straight across the board. So it's not a big deal if I talk to a complete stranger.
A simple hello....how R ya doing today with a smile on my face. Then whatever small talk...then it can lead into other things...

Bascailly when I was dating. I had a sponsor or a sort of life coach that was helping through the process of dating.
He bascailly told me to put myself out there, face my fears, have courage. I had to go do some paper work. Then i saw a
babe that fits the bill...I bascailly just made small talk with her. Ask her for more instructions and what have ya...
Then i ran into her at a super market...F-it, she seen me before. She say hi to me...Then I asked her if she wanted to go
see a play...She actually said "Yes". But she fucken stood me up. So I was tripping on getting rejected like that...so I called
my sponsor...whined and talked about.

Then he told me to go pray to Saint Francis stactue in the court yard...
In the middle of the day where everyone could see me...Errr i thought it was corney as fresia.
But i did it...I felt stupid and had all those feelings of fears, what people might think and wtf???
i got on my knees and prayed for like 5 mins....
Errr...those were the same feelings i had when I try to ask a woman out..
he constanty got me to ask women out. At the end of the day that's what he coached me to do.
After about a month of that...not going nowhere, rejections after rejections..getting rejected wasn't a big deal to me
anymore..approching women wasn't a big deal anymore...Then some of the women started calling me.
And some of the new women I asked out actually went on dates with me...
I was all happy and stuff going out on a first day...after a couple of weeks of that. I started dating 5-6 women.
Some people might judge me as being a player. I work through that too. My sponsor coached me through it.
I was dating...It was a good experince for me. i needed to know I can approch women and be sucessful at it.

it wasn't a new concept to me...I did that at work all the time.
I had to bid for contracts...I had to do a lot of work to turn in bids for milty million dolllar contracts.
i get tired of doing them...but I got paid the bucks. Never the less it still messed with me...becuase it was still my work or something that i did.
I do around 10-15 bids..but didn't get any relpies. 90 days later clients would call me back and award me contracts.
hahaaaaaa , don't worry. I had a personal secutary to correct my grammer or spelling..lol
I used to get bitched at for touching the copy machine...i got paid too much to be touching the copy machine..Errrrr
If i get luckie...I get 2 out of every 10-12 bids I put out....So it's was just a matter of appling that same principle in my life.

Bascailly every long term relationship I was in...the women had asked me out.

 

[Sway]

Hmm okay then, I guess it all boils down to personal Experience, sigh...
Time to just keep tryingg >.>,, but that life coach seems pretty cool Lonesome, tho sometimes i wish I had that dude's wealth of life experience,, would hav saved so much troublee.

 

[bloodyenigma]

u shud make the first move if the other one is shy bt its true that makin the first move might kill the chemistry, truth is there is no set relationship advice that u can give to start a relationship bt there r loads of advice that will actually work for people who r in a relationship....

 

[Talus]

I guess the main thing you should take away from what I'm saying is....don't worry so much about what techniques or approaches to use. What matters is your composure, your attitude/self-confidence, and your ability to make small talk. Just go out and TRY. I GUARANTEE that you're going to get rejected a few times...that's just how it works. But bit by bit you'll start meeting chicks, and you'll get progressively better as you go.

This is pretty much dead on I'd say.

I work in bars most weekends, and it always amuses me to watch the guys running around trying to pick up girls. They all say basically the same thing, the real difference is how they present themselves and how much confidence they have. Really I think it all comes down to body language. A friendly smile will also go a long way.

Obviously I'm not counting the really stupid pick up lines. Although, hell I've even seen them work before.

The only real advice one can give is find an approach you're comfortable with and just go for it.

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

when you really want something performance pressure can give you static in your confidence and you feel uncertainty, doubt and fear.

when you feel that you want it badly those vibes aren't easy to disguise so it's harder to look chilled and self assured unless you are a great actor. so a certain amount of honest detachment is necessary.

just casually chatting with someone is a good start and eventually you discover if you have things in common and enjoy each others company. it's not a huge leap then to ask if they're interested in catching a movie or seeing a band or whatever you're both fans of. all nice and chilled and laidback.

that idea of 'when to choose' to be aloof and when to attack just gets complicated if you think about it too much. just have a go. do your best and don't worry about it.

just remember that eveyone that rejects you is going to hell anyway. lol

 

[Sway]

just remember that eveyone that rejects you is going to hell anyway. lol

Lol, that rly brightened my day lmao...to hell with those Rejectors.., and TY folks for the clearing this up for me