I really wanted to do a sport again this year. I haven't been able to practice over summer, so when I came to the few practices they have before tryouts, I sucked. Horrendously.
I've only had 3 practices after a summer of not doing anything athletic, but the coach said there would be no way I could improve by the time of tryouts. I was upset that he said it, but I had full intentions of coming today just to prove him wrong.
Then my insecurities got the best of me.
"Everyone else is so much better than you on the field."
"Why are you even here? They think you're terrible. Everyone is thinking it. They're frustrated that you're so bad. Go home."
It takes so much out of me to prepare myself for even the practice. I used to play volleyball but I don't even know if I can return to that much less take up another sport. I'm becoming extremely self conscious and self despising all of a sudden. I feel so unmotivated to even try at all this year. I can't handle the critiquing. I feel so different.
Okay. End of rant.
I've only had 3 practices after a summer of not doing anything athletic, but the coach said there would be no way I could improve by the time of tryouts. I was upset that he said it, but I had full intentions of coming today just to prove him wrong.
Then my insecurities got the best of me.
"Everyone else is so much better than you on the field."
"Why are you even here? They think you're terrible. Everyone is thinking it. They're frustrated that you're so bad. Go home."
It takes so much out of me to prepare myself for even the practice. I used to play volleyball but I don't even know if I can return to that much less take up another sport. I'm becoming extremely self conscious and self despising all of a sudden. I feel so unmotivated to even try at all this year. I can't handle the critiquing. I feel so different.
Okay. End of rant.