Angry at myself

[lights]

I really wanted to do a sport again this year. I haven't been able to practice over summer, so when I came to the few practices they have before tryouts, I sucked. Horrendously.

I've only had 3 practices after a summer of not doing anything athletic, but the coach said there would be no way I could improve by the time of tryouts. I was upset that he said it, but I had full intentions of coming today just to prove him wrong.

Then my insecurities got the best of me.

"Everyone else is so much better than you on the field."
"Why are you even here? They think you're terrible. Everyone is thinking it. They're frustrated that you're so bad. Go home."

It takes so much out of me to prepare myself for even the practice. I used to play volleyball but I don't even know if I can return to that much less take up another sport. I'm becoming extremely self conscious and self despising all of a sudden. I feel so unmotivated to even try at all this year. I can't handle the critiquing. I feel so different.

Okay. End of rant.

 

[Wandering stranger]

What did you honestly expect after not training for the entire summer, all you can do now is continue and train doubly hard or give up. We all know giving up sucks so get that tail in gear for some serious training and earn your spot on the field.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

What a lame ass coach. I thought a coach was someone that encourage you....
More than just the sport itself. The principle of sports you can also apply to other area in your life.

At the age of 5 my duaghter could do a back summersult, backward flip from a stand still.
She fell on her head over and over again for she could acommplish her goals.
I encourage her to get up after each fall, after the tears. I spoted her. I spent time with her.
She learned to overcame her fears and accommplish results.
I belive in her until she could belive in herself. I was amazing to see her on the gymnastic floor.
There was so much life, desire and passion in her.

Ive had music teachers that totally sucked ass. I've also had amazing talented tutors that encoraged me
and told me to never give up on myself.


Nothing wrong with feeling angery or anxities...It's what you do with the engery or where you focus your energy.
You can waste the engery on feeling sorry for yourself or get the things you want out of life.

 

[Nina]

I have to totally agree with Lonesome on this one. I'm a parent as well and sometimes young adults, like yourself, lose motivation and it's then up to the parents and the COACH to help the student re-engage and continue to persue their goals. School sports have become less about the benefits of what sports teach and ALL about the "winning' This bugs me to no end.
I also agree that it's up to you to persue the sports, even it is to prove the coach dead wrong. It's your life and you need to understand that a lot of folks, teachers and parents included can be incredibly unsuppotive and that's when you have to become your own best supporter and go for your dreams with 10x's more passion...

 

[lights]

I know, I know. It's up to me to work 10 times harder than anyone if just to be as good as they are since they've been practicing all summer. It's not only sports now, I doubt myself in everything. I'm one of those people who I excel at most things that I try, without putting forth a lot of effort. So it's just difficult to be in a position where I have to work at it.

But yeah everyone is focused on scholarships and winning state titles. No one has room for imperfection and the coaches will swear at you (What is that honeysuckle you're doing out there, get your head in the fricking game!) to get it out of you. I know that they're just pushing us to do better, but my feelings always end up getting hurt. Idk if I'm being sensitive or if they're just being rough. It's high school soccer, not FIFA World Cup. No one else sees it that way where I am.

 

[ThinkPositive]

No one has room for imperfection and the coaches will swear at you (What is that honeysuckle you're doing out there, get your head in the fricking game!) to get it out of you. I know that they're just pushing us to do better, but my feelings always end up getting hurt. Idk if I'm being sensitive or if they're just being rough.

Don't take it personally. I've been in these kinds of situations, and I always came out the better for it. I was a pretty timid kid, but now I feel like I've toughened up.

(Now, social/personal situations are different...don't take that kind of talk from friends or romantic partners, etc.)