Any advice welcome..

[Styx]

I NEED to get over a girl. She wasn't my girlfriend neither my friend. Long story short I was just used for the purposes of gaining access to free alcohol, a place to stay and for dumping all her emotional issues onto..

Now that I've denied her access to my appartment, she has broken off most contact.. I still talk to her former best friend and she offten has her reley interesting tidbits just to hurt me some more.. the most resent being that shes selling the ring I got as her comming-of-age present.

I am aware she has never fealt anything for me. My rational mind tells me its compleatly idiotic and useless but still she's brakeing my heart practicaly once per month..

I might elaborate later if i'm feeling less embarrased about what I have let her do to me..

 

[IgnoredOne]

Be grateful for the learning experience and realize that she's probably going to have a much tougher road than you to tread for her stupidity. Your ability to love is nothing to be embarassed about.

 

[JohnHenryEden]

Think about it this way: Your free from her lies. You can go find someone now who will like you as much as you like them. Hide everything from yourself that reminds you of her. Pretend you never met her in your life. It will be hard but it will eventually work. could you please offer me some advice?
http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=16225

 

[Monster]

You need to let go of your "attachments" towards her. You need to basicly, "forgive and let go" of your resentments towards her. You are probly feeling that she owes you for so much that you've done for her. This attachment can be very strong, thinking that she will realize within herself and show you the greatfullness and apreciation and even perhaps love that you percieve you deserve for what you've done for her. Sadly that is never the case, let her go.... just let her go in your heart, forgive her everything she has taken from you and let go of your attachments in you for her. It will truly free you... take care bro : )

 

[Styx]

By letting go of any attachments I'll lose the last thing keeping me sane..

The last and only thing connecting us is her former best friend. She has kept me from doing something stupid in the past and is my main moral support.

The Girl destroyed my only other friendship, she said that she slept with my best friend, before claiming that I was just too boring for her.

Now I hear from her friend that she is doing everything in her power to hurt me for telling the friend about her blabbing her(the friends) secrets to strangers.

 

[Styx]

You need to let go of your "attachments" towards her. You need to basicly, "forgive and let go" of your resentments towards her. You are probly feeling that she owes you for so much that you've done for her. This attachment can be very strong, thinking that she will realize within herself and show you the greatfullness and apreciation and even perhaps love that you percieve you deserve for what you've done for her. Sadly that is never the case, let her go.... just let her go in your heart, forgive her everything she has taken from you and let go of your attachments in you for her. It will truly free you... take care bro : )

K, done..

 

[Peter Lorre]

Just tell yourself you did the right thing, but unfortunately she was a ***** and took advantage of your good nature. This means you're a good person, while she isn't.

So just let go of her and feel good about yourself. Life's too short to waste it on people like her.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

It mkight take you serveral times
to let go. Sometimes its 5 mins at a time..
Its letting go of the FEELINGS of attachment.

its a common thing a lot of people do.
Theyll gather the mass of people or your surrounding friendship against ya.
Sp all those things are gonna effect you

I suffer from the Ill show you *****
syndrom.. Sometimes it works against
me..other times it works for me

Emotional bonding women wants from men.. Sometimes its also call emmeshing.

So the next woman u get involve with..ur gonna be a little more careful and not get too emotionally involved...
But shell probably think ur a heartless prick.lol

women!!!!
cant live with them...cant live without them.

---

The actual feeling you would let go
of is WANTING, LACK. SEEKING .

The reason why is becuase your habitually reacting to your feelings
of wanting a GF. So you set conditions
such as being in a friendzone or whatever. Never HAVING.
If its not this woman..you might do
the samething with the next one.

Gradtitude is a state of Having.

The reason why u get into a state of attachment is becuase you feel you lack something. So you get into a habit of want...want..want.
Thats why even if you find a great GF..you still want...want want more.

its a new idea for me I came across but
not so new for many people.
I kind da half ass graps it....
U are complete, whole and perfect already..

I alway get the chicks or HAVE women
in my life.lol

---

Thatys why...some people say....
why in the hell do you have to seek/look
for god???? God is not lost.

The riddle is to STOP SEEKING or LOOKING. YOU ALREADY HAVE IT.

Our minds are design to create fucken
problems so it can solve.lol
For mathematics...its ok.
For relationships or peace of mind...its
like a fucken and endless trill mill.
TYhats why we sometimes get into
OCD thinking always trying to figuire out
honeysuckle or SEEK millions of salutions.lol

 

[Lonesome Crow]

This also why some people suggeest to ACT and FEEL as if YOU HAVE EVERYTHING already.

As corning as it might sound or seems..
This will get you into the habits of HAVING.

Wer.e creatures of habits

 

[scribbledoutname]

Just tell yourself you did the right thing, but unfortunately she was a ***** and took advantage of your good nature. This means you're a good person, while she isn't.

So just let go of her and feel good about yourself. Life's too short to waste it on people like her.

I agree. The thing is that this would have happened sooner or later, so it's probably better that you see her for what she is now (as opposed to marrying her and being devastated when she sleeps with your best friend/neightbor/whoever else). She would just have used you if you entered a real relationship. Now she's going to go somewhere else and see what she can get from someone else.

Naturally, the best thing to do would be to forgive and forget. The only way you can do that is to really, HONESTLY want to give her up. If you say "I want to forget about her and be happy again," but deep down you're still wishing you were with her, you'll continue to be upset by what she's done. You CAN live without her. In fact you DID live without her, before you met her. So decide -- on every level -- to drop your infatuation and focus on something else. Yes, I know it can be tough, but we've all been there.

Think of that ring you gave to her (and anything else you bought/did for her) as an investment in your self improvement. Hopefully, you'll be able to spot the signs of a leech in the future (male/female -- anyone who takes stuff from you and doesn't actively contribute to your life. Being attractive does not count as a contribution), and you can judge how to act accordingly.

 

[Styx]

Yeah, put that ring out of my mind already.. lesson learned never putting anybody else first again. Love has to stay secondary, or else this will repeat itself over and over..

As for before I met her.. Darkest time in my whole life.. No friends, moving to a new town, dropping out of collage, distanced family connections.. all the honeysuckle.

Yeah.. erm.. I'm not a 'nice guy' what happens at the deepest level is not longing for her to love me, but just plain lust.. All of my empathy has been eroded.. The good will has been spent, for now..

I have found enlightenment. I am not a required to adhere to social gender norms in a world, where women act like they claim men do. I will be a slave to my biology no longer. I don't need any woman to be a man..

Ps.: The sig says it all.. I keep an open mind, open to me being wrong on any subject.. And my most valued trait is my brutal honesty, even to myself.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

After all these years, I actually looked
up the definition of a spiritaul person....
" A WELL ADJUSTED PERSON"...

Err..yeah....It was a brain fart moment..I became more enlighten. LoL

Live and learn from our mistakes?
Make corrected...Adjust?

Its simple honeysuckle...
I have to remind myself everyday..
KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID...cuz Im such a precocious smart ass and have all the answers.

---

I have to look @ myself. The role or part I played in it...

what was it that I wanted from her...
sexual relaations or emotional needs..etc..etc.

Or was I playing the fucken victim?
Of course its always easier to blame
others. Instead of looking at myself.

Working on myself...takes work.
Giving advice...thats easy honeysuckle.

Forgive others is noble or whatever the fresia....
Forgiving myself???
This is the real deal....

 

[blackhole]

so, you are hung up on a girl you never had a relationship with and who used you for free room-and-board?

dude. come on. have some pride.

it's goes like this:

1. meet girl
2. fall in love
3. move in together

not like this:

1. meet girl
2. move in together
3. fall in love.