Never date or had a boyfriend or girlfriend never been kissed? Hopefully I'm not the only one. I get a lot of slack from my sister's and co workers that I need to get a boyfriend. And start making babies. I even had a former co worker trying to find a guy for me. I even been asked if I was a lesbian, which I am not. A co worker try to set me up with another co worker. But that didn't happen. I tell everyone it just takes time. One day I will find one.
Anyone else.....?
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Alienated
Well-known member
Well I have had relationships in the past... along time ago. So it feels like a lifetime ago. I feel like I am the only human left on Earth... I wish someday I could believe I would find someone, but I have pretty much gave up hope on that. Is there anybody out there ?
Dabnis_Brickey
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I don't expect to find anyone anymore. It hurts but I think I will just have accept it.
LoneStar1989
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Me me me
Stavros
Member
You're not alone as you can add me to this list. I'm a virgin who has never officially dated, never had a girlfriend, nor ever been kissed by a girl. The reactions I've had from others in my life whom I've told and have done these things themselves have been...comical to say the least.
All of my close friends know about it, and respect it, which I appreciate.
My coworkers and women I've just started talking to as friends, however...
Well, at one point I told quite a few guys at work about this in the last few months. One of them was complaining about how he'd gone so long without having sex.
"You know how long it's been since I've had sex? Since 2007!" He bemoaned as the conversation became more drawn out.
My, admittedly, pretentious reply (meant more as teasing): "You think THAT'S a long time?"
So, that's when he asked me how long it had been since I've done it, in which I told him, "since 1987, the year I was born." They connected the dots, but not before asking me the all-important "are you a virgin?" question, to which I unabashedly and unashamedly said, "Yes."
Que the tension as mouths hung open at something none of them had ever expected from...whatever Don Juan/sex maniac they thought I was supposed to be. From what I read and hear from other people who admit to being virgins to their peers, I was expecting laughter and ridicule, but I guess the stern "I'm 6'1, 205 pounds, I dare you to make fun of me..." eyes I stared at them with kept them from doing anything but expressing their bewilderment.
"How could you have gone so long without it?" "How come you've never had it?" All of the questions to which I don't have concrete answers to. The giggles only started when they knew I wasn't going to throttle them for making them. I don't really care, it doesn't bother me. Though, through the giggles they would say things like, "Oh, well...that's cool, man! That's cool!", like I somehow needed to hear them encourage me on something I was supposed to be depressed about.
I combated their ridicule and condescension with honesty. "Yeah, I'm a 25-year-old virgin, and don't really care. You don't have to feel sorry for me. It is what it is."
What gets to me more is that other coworkers try to set me up with girls at work just to "lose it". What is virginity anyway, a disease? I assured them that I was not attracted to these girls that they were attracted to, and got heck for it. "Why not?! What are you, chicken/gay?" Sorry, I'm just not genuinely attracted to somebody I just met, know nothing about, and have no emotional connection with, which I told them. I'll admit, it's been tough in my life to pursue a relationship. I've tried before and been rejected. That doesn't mean I'll settle with the first person willing to be intimate with me either...
A lot of my new-found female friends have humorous reactions to this too. They, like my male coworkers, are shocked to hear about my girlfriend-less virginity, and wonder at how a guy like me (whatever "like me" means) is still single. I just laugh every time I hear it, because I feel the irony in the statement. It's just kind of like, "and...here I am, a 25-year-old virgin..."
Like I said, it's not really a problem for me being of that relationship status and experience level. If something happens in the future, and I find someone I like, it happens.
All of my close friends know about it, and respect it, which I appreciate.
My coworkers and women I've just started talking to as friends, however...
Well, at one point I told quite a few guys at work about this in the last few months. One of them was complaining about how he'd gone so long without having sex.
"You know how long it's been since I've had sex? Since 2007!" He bemoaned as the conversation became more drawn out.
My, admittedly, pretentious reply (meant more as teasing): "You think THAT'S a long time?"
So, that's when he asked me how long it had been since I've done it, in which I told him, "since 1987, the year I was born." They connected the dots, but not before asking me the all-important "are you a virgin?" question, to which I unabashedly and unashamedly said, "Yes."
Que the tension as mouths hung open at something none of them had ever expected from...whatever Don Juan/sex maniac they thought I was supposed to be. From what I read and hear from other people who admit to being virgins to their peers, I was expecting laughter and ridicule, but I guess the stern "I'm 6'1, 205 pounds, I dare you to make fun of me..." eyes I stared at them with kept them from doing anything but expressing their bewilderment.
"How could you have gone so long without it?" "How come you've never had it?" All of the questions to which I don't have concrete answers to. The giggles only started when they knew I wasn't going to throttle them for making them. I don't really care, it doesn't bother me. Though, through the giggles they would say things like, "Oh, well...that's cool, man! That's cool!", like I somehow needed to hear them encourage me on something I was supposed to be depressed about.
I combated their ridicule and condescension with honesty. "Yeah, I'm a 25-year-old virgin, and don't really care. You don't have to feel sorry for me. It is what it is."
What gets to me more is that other coworkers try to set me up with girls at work just to "lose it". What is virginity anyway, a disease? I assured them that I was not attracted to these girls that they were attracted to, and got heck for it. "Why not?! What are you, chicken/gay?" Sorry, I'm just not genuinely attracted to somebody I just met, know nothing about, and have no emotional connection with, which I told them. I'll admit, it's been tough in my life to pursue a relationship. I've tried before and been rejected. That doesn't mean I'll settle with the first person willing to be intimate with me either...
A lot of my new-found female friends have humorous reactions to this too. They, like my male coworkers, are shocked to hear about my girlfriend-less virginity, and wonder at how a guy like me (whatever "like me" means) is still single. I just laugh every time I hear it, because I feel the irony in the statement. It's just kind of like, "and...here I am, a 25-year-old virgin..."
Like I said, it's not really a problem for me being of that relationship status and experience level. If something happens in the future, and I find someone I like, it happens.
el Jay
Well-known member
Alienated said:
This is more or less how I feel. Had one "real" relationship 9 years ago. Was long distance, so together less than 20 days in person out of a year. Also had a fruitless online relationship that lasted several years in my early-mid 20s, that only messed me up emotionally.
Now at 28, I feel like there's no way someone could possibly WANT to be with me, and so I've gone the past years since my break-up without even the slightest prospect of a relationship, all the while watching other people have relationships and experience life.
MTrip
Well-known member
Fluffy said:
Not everyone is meant to couple up & breed. Almost all humans want that...but not every single person. I wanted that once; every so often I still want some company. But most of the time I prefer solitude. Less hassles, drama, & communication issues never come up. If you are someone who is not eager to find company, then there is nothing wrong with that. Just be who you are! As for other people telling you to meet that special someone, if they're coworkers then tell them to lay off it. All others who persist, you can easily tell them to go jump in the lake, piss up a rope, whatever expression you want to use.[/font]
