Are you scary of Valentine's day?

[ToddShark]

Guys.

I'm really interested in the following topic...

I remember my long period (about 20 years) when Valentine's day was one of the most unhappy day of the year.
Walking in the town, looking at happy dating pairs, full cafeterias, cinemas.
I felt I'm the only single beeing in the town.
Finally, I spent most of these days at home crying the whole night.

If your feelings during Valentine's day are similar, I'm interested what's your strongest thought in your mind. Whether it's depression, anger, envy,...

I'm interested how single man (especially over 30) is handling this day.

(If you want, please, share your approx. age - 30,35,40,45,...)

Thanks.
--
Todd

 

[TheRealCallie]

Perhaps this thread will shed some light on it for you..
http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=35929

 

[reynard_muldrake]

Guys.

I'm really interested in the following topic...

I remember my long period (about 20 years) when Valentine's day was one of the most unhappy day of the year.
Walking in the town, looking at happy dating pairs, full cafeterias, cinemas.
I felt I'm the only single beeing in the town.
Finally, I spent most of these days at home crying the whole night.

If your feelings during Valentine's day are similar, I'm interested what's your strongest thought in your mind. Whether it's depression, anger, envy,...

I'm interested how single man (especially over 30) is handling this day.

(If you want, please, share your approx. age - 30,35,40,45,...)

Thanks.
--
Todd

I'm a single thirty-something. I plan on staying in, watching movies/shows, and keeping quiet. My standard Sunday activity, in other words .

 

[TomL]

I wouldn't say I'm scared of it.

I'm pretty cynical about it.

To me, it seems like another way to get people to part with their money, a card, a gift. Restaurants offers on etc. And it manipulates love. The way I see it is, if you love someone, why would you need a specially designated day to express that love?
Also, on the Romantic side of things, is it really that romantic?
Isn't one of the things about romance that it's spontaneous, whimsical etc? So then to propose, or even have a romantic meal, but someone flowers etc, on a designated day, when millions of people are doing and have done the same thing in Valentine's day, kinda puts into question as whether it's really that romantic.

If you're in love with someone, surely you shouldn't need a special day. Surely they're things you would do in a relationship on frequent (saying I love you, kisses etc) or (semi) regular (meal in restaurant, flowers, small gifts) basis.

I think it cheapens it more than anything else, but if the people who partake in Valentines day are OK with it/enjoy it, then who am I to say it's wrong?

I'm also conscious, that I've always been on the outside looking in. Although I've wanted to (I've attempted to, but gone about things wrongly and naively), I've never been in love, because I've never been able to let anyone in, for reasons that for most of the time I've not been able to explain even to myself. I have very very gradually come to light over the past four years or so, and I still don't know if I've got to the very bottom of it.

That hurts, and yeah, maybe I do feel bitter/jealous about it.
But I'm a Socialist (in the Social Democratic rather than Communist sense) and I feel Valentines exploits love for capitalist purposes.

 

[BeyondShy]

Not scared at all since I won't be participating in it this year unless I go and buy a gift for myself.

Wait a minute, that's an idea.

 

[jblanch3]

I'm not really scared by it anymore, it's pretty much gotten to where I barely give it a second thought, which is a good thing. The only thing is that I work in retail, and we have a whole section in the back devoted to Valentine's Day, so we have the heart boxes of candy and all this other stuff, but I'm rarely assigned to that area, so I'm cool.

 

[kamya]

Nope! Valentine's Day is scary of me!

 

[TheRealCallie]

Nope! Valentine's Day is scary of me!

Everything is scary of you....

 

[PenDragon]

Nope! Valentine's Day is scary of me!

Everything is scary of you....

Not me though

...Or maybe I am.

 

[ToddShark]

If you're in love with someone, surely you shouldn't need a special day. Surely they're things you would do in a relationship on frequent (saying I love you, kisses etc) or (semi) regular (meal in restaurant, flowers, small gifts) basis.

I feel it the same way. Thanks.

 

[kamya]

Valentine's Day is just supposed to be something extra that you do that is for fun. Maybe you guys are taking it too seriously? I can't think of any Valentine's day where I've been in a relationship. If I was though I would look forward to it and plan out a way to have fun with it.

 

[Paraiyar]

Valentine's Day is just supposed to be something extra that you do that is for fun. Maybe you guys are taking it too seriously? I can't think of any Valentine's day where I've been in a relationship. If I was though I would look forward to it and plan out a way to have fun with it.

Agreed.

 

[Xenovista]

I try to ignore it.

 

[ordinaryDude]

I'm not bothered, never have been. There should't be one single special day for love, love should be there everyday.

 

[Swamp Yankee]

Hate valentine's day.

 

[TheSkaFish]

If your feelings during Valentine's day are similar, I'm interested what's your strongest thought in your mind. Whether it's depression, anger, envy,...

I'm interested how single man (especially over 30) is handling this day.

(If you want, please, share your approx. age - 30,35,40,45,...)

Thanks.
--
Todd

My feelings are pretty similar. I'm a guy, I'll be turning 30 this year, and I've always been single. All that's happened to me, as far as romantic/sexual things go, were 3 random make-out sessions spaced out over 11 years - none of which were even with girls I wanted to kiss in the first place. I just found myself in the situation and couldn't figure out a way to get out of it without being rude. Nobody has ever really wanted to go out with me, as far as I can tell, and these last couple years I have tried really hard to look inside myself and figure out why.

The first feeling I have is anger. I'm angry at the situation. I still feel like I got robbed, shown up, embarrassed. I feel anger that I was muscled out of the best chances I'm probably ever going to get for romantic love and I couldn't fight back somehow. It makes me feel worthless as a male. I'm angry that I couldn't figure out what to do in time to have prevented it. I'm angry that there's now a ceiling on how well I can do in relationships now - no matter who I date now, I can't do as well as I could have done. Not unless I get another chance.

I am angry with myself for allowing it to happen when I should have known better by then. It shouldn't have even gotten to that point. I'm angry with myself for not having learned how to be attractive to women when every other guy did. It's one thing that I didn't date in junior high, and even high school it wasn't really that big of a deal. But by the end of college, I feel like I should have had it figured out by then, even if I wasn't actually dating. I shouldn't have still been having problems with this by the time I met my crushes.

I'm angry that I'm having to try so hard to piece together the details of how to be attractive and I don't even know for sure if I'm getting any closer to figuring it out or if I'm still way off target because all I have are guesses. I'm angry that I can't make any sense of attraction on my own when every other guy seems to know this instinctively. I just wish I knew where to start and how to go in the right direction.

The second feeling I have is sadness. I'm sad that I messed up so badly when I was given the chances I'd always been waiting for. I had some really good chances for romantic love with girls that I feel like I really could have dated, and would have loved to date if only I knew how to present myself. I tell myself that maybe someday they will be free again, and maybe I'll have more going for me and make a new, better impression with them that will sweep the old one away, and maybe we'll re-connect and they'll give me a chance. It has happened before for other people, so I say you never know. But it doesn't look too good right now, and I don't see how it would ever get better. It's such a long shot. And that saddens me, because I'm pretty sure I'll never meet anyone who I would like to date as much as them again.

That's how Valentine's Day makes me feel. It reminds me of my failures, and for that, I really don't care for it. It makes me feel imprisoned in singledom. I just wonder when it will end.

 

[ToddShark]

Thanks guys for your openness.
I really appreciate it.
It seems like I ignored all our posts but believe me, I have read all of them (e-mail notification configured).
But past few weeks I'm tired to death and in my zombie mode I'm glad I can work every day in my job
and take care of my little daughter evenings.

I have seen as one of reactions cynism and anger. I know it. I have done it the same way.
Hopefully, will be able to write something about it in next days.

Many thanks again.