Asking women about Intimidation

[ShybutHi]

So for the women on the forum, if you went out and happened to meet a guy, but i mean hadnt actually talked to him or anything just hanging with him and some other people you know or he knows and he happened to be a very shy guy but very talented at something like say guitar to the point where it was very unusual, would you feel intimidated at all by him?

 

[Nina]

ShybutHi--
I think, for me at least, that watching someone doing something they really enjoy is very attractive and welcoming. I can watch someone draw, paint, play music, dance, or listen to them sing for hours.
At leat a few times a month I take my sketchbook and find someplace to just sit and sketch something of interest and I almost always end up with folks just stopping to see what I'm drawing. This always leads to nice conversations and I've actually made friends doing it. I think creative people are sometimes just naturally drawn to others who are creative.
I'm also drawn towards the way folks speak or write. Certain folks have a gift for expressing themselves in fascinating ways. A killer sense of humor is another thing that I love.

 

[VanillaCreme]

When I think of intimidation, I think of being afraid or scared of someone or something on some level. I wouldn't be scared of a guy. Having a talent such as playing guitar isn't really something I'd feel intimidated by. I would think it was awesome.

 

[ShybutHi]

Thanks for your reply Nina. Its funny because when considering women, on numerous occasions i have had a situation where all is fine socially, smiles etc and then after i play (i admit im one who gets quite lost in a song) they become shy towards me. I have had women friends of friends comment while im playing like "what the hell" and my friend say "i know...", they think im so lost in song that i cant hear whats going on around me which i find quite amusing lol. I have had older women who obviously are not afraid to comment say things like "your going to make a women very happy with those fingers one day" which is pretty funny lol

I play gigs in bands with friends and sometimes include solo songs which i play in the set because my friends say i should play them infront of people in a gig scenario more, i have got cheers alot after playing which is a nice feeling, i have guys come up to me and comment on my playing ask me questions about how i learnt and can have a good convo but i never get female attention really apart from sweeping looks as they walk past sometimes which i have noticed.

Its just strange, i know im not the easiest person to talk to because im so **** shy, sometimes i am almost basically like a mute, the only emotional outlet for me is my music, i never talk about emotional situations with family or friends, my family or friends happen to just not really talk about those subjects. When it comes to friends, people i know, i can hold a great intelligent conversation... it just really seems like women get intimidated by me to some extent.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Are you sure you're not intimated by women? I see no reason why they would be intimidated by you.

 

[ShybutHi]

Are you sure you're not intimated by women? I see no reason why they would be intimidated by you.

Hmm not sure, i am rediculously shy to anyone i dont really know though whether its male or female, if its someone else asking the questions i can converse fine but if its me who would be asking the questions, i get mental block.

Unless there is alcohol inserted into the equation then i open up a bit and converse with people fine. lol


Maybe i am a little and maybe its because i have not had friends that were girls in my whole life i suppose. I was always the guy who hung around with the nerdy people at school.

 

[Nina]

ShybutHi--
All I can think, is that when the girls smile and begin to talk, if you have difficulties asking questions in return, due to the shyness, maybe they are taking this as a lack of interest on your part. You have return smiles given and eye contact is also very welcoming. Maybe try asking them what other sorts of music they enjoy. If you could memorize a few short but open questions to ask, maybe that would help you out of some of the "mental blocks" you experience when in a conversation. A lot of people out there, can formulate a whole conversation based on a few short questions.

 

[SophiaGrace]

A shy guy playing the guitar.

Mysterious.

Attractive.

 

[ShybutHi]

ShybutHi--
All I can think, is that when the girls smile and begin to talk, if you have difficulties asking questions in return, due to the shyness, maybe they are taking this as a lack of interest on your part. You have return smiles given and eye contact is also very welcoming. Maybe try asking them what other sorts of music they enjoy. If you could memorize a few short but open questions to ask, maybe that would help you out of some of the "mental blocks" you experience when in a conversation. A lot of people out there, can formulate a whole conversation based on a few short questions.

Oh no, dont say "eye contact" Nina! lol I am absolutely terrible at eye contact even with my friends! You know i never really thought about that, the fact i dont even really make eye contact with my friends, its quite silly too because some of them i have known for a very long time and we know each other very well.... maybe i should try and make eye contact with people more.

Its funny really i know conversing is not something that should be hard to do, i suppose im just afraid of saying something "wrong" and making myself seem like a fool or afraid that i will seem like such a simpleton if im just asking such basic questions and the conversation isnt moving anywhere. I know its all just me being over analytical about things and it makes me just not say anything at all.

Ah its so hard to overcome this though.

 

[Nina]

ShybutHi--
Quick flashes of eye contact can be very sweet coming from a guy. It's the quick look and a shy smile and then look down. You've told the girl you're "interested" with it, but it isn't an overwhelming gaze that would bother you or make her uncomfortable. Practice it in a mirror. Short direct questions don't make anyone look simple. I've seen people try too hard to converse where they can launch into TOO much questioning or explaining on a topic and that can actually drive people off. Short and simple questions mixed with that quick eye contact and a sweet smile might be something to experiment with. It is hard to oversome shyness, but with small, do-able steps you can....You seem like a great person, you just have to let others see him

 

[NOAH_FX]

Some women are intimidated by musicians.. Im really not sure why, really were just glorified nerds. However, use that to your advantage, if you can sing, learn some Neil Young. Don't be afraid of being shy, but don't let it stop you either. If your at a party or something and can break out the acoustic... It rarely fails . You just need a wingman their to break the guitar out round 11, and you go "oh no i can't im too shy to play infront of people" of course he makes you play anyway, and you dazzle them with some All along the watchtower. Just my 2 cents :"P

 

[VanillaCreme]

I've never heard of anyone being intimidated by musicians. Is this a new thing? 'Cause I'm a bit old school. Never heard that one before.

 

[Nina]

I've never heard of anyone being intimidated by musicians. Is this a new thing? 'Cause I'm a bit old school. Never heard that one before.

I've only seen musicians welcomes..."warmly". I've been to concerts where panties were flying onto the stage...Now THAT isn't intimidation!!

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I've never heard of anyone being intimidated by musicians. Is this a new thing? 'Cause I'm a bit old school. Never heard that one before.

Same here. I've seen it is a turn on more than anything else.

 

[Mr. Sir]

Read my signature for explanation.

If you're a good-looking woman (in my definition that means long hair, no acne, and fit) than any guy would be happy to talk to you. Nothing to be intimidated about.

 

[VanillaCreme]

What does your signature have anything to really do with that?

 

[nerdygirl]

ACK! A musician!! *runs away*

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

are we talking women or are we talking girls?

me thinks age bracket may be relevant here.

 

[Nina]

are we talking women or are we talking girls?

me thinks age bracket may be relevant here.

--jsd--
I'm a woman now but I wasn't intimidated by musicians when I was but an innocent maiden either...

 

[VanillaCreme]

I've never heard of anyone being intimidated by musicians. Is this a new thing? 'Cause I'm a bit old school. Never heard that one before.

Same here. I've seen it is a turn on more than anything else.

Yes, indeed.