Being bullied

[Mr. Sir]

I have much to say about this later.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Heck Kataphractors just tell them to kick the bully in the nuts. That'll end it quick. All us guys know how much that hurts. I've heard other guys say another guy should never kick another guy in the jewels, but if that other guy is trying to physically assault you then use everything at your disposal, especially if someone is bigger than you. It's that age old saying, pick on someone your own size.

You know, it's sad really. These bullies pick on people smaller than them, so what does that show? Oh big man you are, picking on someone smaller and weaker, yeah so cool. Too afraid to pick on someone their own size because they are afraid of getting their ass handed to them.

 

[Kataphractos]

Heck Kataphractors just tell them to kick the bully in the nuts. That'll end it quick. All us guys know how much that hurts. I've heard other guys say another guy should never kick another guy in the jewels, but if that other guy is trying to physically assault you then use everything at your disposal, especially if someone is bigger than you.

Oh, I agree. In a no-honeysuckle real fight, the only rule is put the other guy on the ground as quickly as possible and then get the hell out.

 

[Joseph]

The thing about kicking someone in the nuts is that it turns your fight into a kill or be killed fight. Women don't understand this, because they get a free pass, they can hit us and we can't hit them. However, if a man hits another man in the nuts, the potential for injury is so severe and the pain so mind-shattering, that you basically have two options once you do it to me: 1. finish me off (enjoy the murder charge) or 2. run for your life (because I will likely beat you to death)

Something to think about before ever advising anyone to kick someone in the nuts. What I've said is just the unfortunate truth. Of course I say this as someone who doesn't just "trade blows" and call it good. When I'm hit I go wild and black out.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Note to self, don't kick Joseph in the nuts. Wow, I'm so tired at first I read your post as if you were talking about hitting a woman in the nuts, then I went...wait what...and reread it. Good thing I did before I started on about if you kick a woman in the nuts that it ain't no woman. ROFL

That advice was given to me by some older students when I was registering for High School, they also joked about joining the Football team so they could use me in place of the football to toss around. I'm not fat, I was just short. Kick 'em as hard as I can then run like hell, being short I should have less wind resistance and could hide easier.

 

[Ladysphinx]

I was bullied in school, hardly ever phisicly but the insults names and jokes where the worst I think. I got in a lot of trouble many times cause I would actually get some of them back in some sort of EVIL way. I have dyslexia and I am weird no doubt about it. I never could just let them bully me I always fighted back even if I knew it was a loosing battle. In highschool they called me( Mal)anti, mal meaning crazy in english my real name is Nalanti. I actaully took a lot of bulling for other kids. I was the hero in the bully coner cause I always stood up for other knowing I'm going to get it. I think that's where my evil sence of humour comes from cause I usaully had quite an effect with the come backs. By the last year of school ppl left me alone especially because I pushed a kid down stairs after he kept pulling my hair. And yes even manly nuts was not save.

 

[Sci-Fi]

LOL that a girl!

I think the teasing and taunting is much worse than physical bullying. I keep telling my part time student employee how much words can hurt someone. He doesn't get it, just yesterday he was telling me about how he was making fun of this one girl who he doesn't like much and was hitting on him. I've told him he's a bully but he doesn't see it. I've bluntly told him he's a bully, but he just laughs and says he doesn't care because he doesn't like that person anyway. I've tried to explain it to him but he's the type of guy who doesn't let anything get to him, and thinks everyone else should do the same thing. He doesn't understand that the problem is that people aren't the same as him.

 

[Stepchild]

Wow, Ladysphinx, I wish I'd had your strength and wittiness back in high school. ... I wish I had that now.

I think the teasing and taunting is much worse than physical bullying.

Hmm, I don't know. Well, I've got no experience of physical bullying, but I'd imagine it'd be really hard to live in constant fear of physical pain. There's not only the humiliation that's also involved in mental bullying, but the possible pain, too.

How old is your student employee? I've always imagined that bullies would eventually grow up, get wiser and realize that they've got no right to constantly pick on someone. But of course that's not necessarily the case, since there is a lot of that going on at workplaces as well. Why does he think it's okay to make fun of someone simply because he doesn't like her? Does he think she doesn't have got any feelings that could get hurt? Or that her feelings don't matter? Whatever the case, people like that make me mad.

 

[Sci-Fi]

He's only 15 so he still has a lot of maturing to do, mentally. I've tried to explain to him what his teasing could do, he just doesn't get it. He doesn't get made fun of and for him he figures people should just let it roll off them. I've been plotting a little exercise that might make him understand, and he's been pressing his luck at work lately. He's a nice kid, when he's not being a dick. I don't like hearing about what he does, too many reminders of when I was in high school. Mental bullying carries so many more mental and emotional scars that we carry on into our adult lives. To me physical bullying is visible, you get beat up or pushed around people see it. With mental bullying people tend to tune out what they hear if it doesn't involve them, and no one can see what it does to you mentally/emotionally, until one day you snap and do something horrible. Like these kids who take guns to school and shoot people, everyone says they never saw signs. Most of the time those kids were mentally bullied. There were a few times when I got pushed around, someone stepped in and put a stop to it, but when I teased or called names no one stepped it, they just said to ignore it.

 

[Stepchild]

Right. Well, his age explains a lot, then. That seems to be pretty much the worst age when it comes to bullying. That's when you're old enough to care if someone's different, but too young to realize what making fun of someone because of that difference could cause. Good luck with making him understand the consequences of his actions.

Like I said, I haven't experienced physical bullying, but you might be right. Mental bullying tends to be often thought of as something harmless or even friendly teasing. I don't think it's really taken seriously enough. When I saw a therapist a couple of years back, I told her that one of the reasons I think my life is not ideal is because I was bullied as a teenager. She sort of just shrugged it off. After all, that was several years after I'd gotten out of that school, so maybe she thought it didn't matter anymore, wasn't worth discussing. I could be remembering this wrong, but I think she even said, "Well, maybe they teased everyone." Oh, sure. Friendly harmless fun between classmates is what it was, not something that completely annihilated my self-esteem.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Seriously? Wow where did she get her degree...she must have never been bullied when younger.

I was probably teased from the age of 10 and on because I was shorter and smaller than most guys my age. Not my fault, my parents were short and my mom was very skinny most her life. It was genetics and you can't change that. It got to a point where I became even more shy then I already was.
By the time I got to high school I was terrified to take gym class because I knew I'd be teased and picked on. By the time I entered grade 11 I was told by the guidance councilors that I had to take gym, unless I had a medical reason why not, and I had to get a doctors note. I tried to explain to him why I didn't want to take gym, being a guy and a guidance councilor he'd understand or be empathetic. Nope. I even tried using my possible allergic reaction to a bee sting, but I was told if that happened the nurses office carried eppy pens. I was stung by a swarm of bees when I was younger and I swelled right up, the doctor said being stung by so many may cause an allergic reaction. It was a wait and see kind of thing, I was told if I got stung to seek medical attention immediately.

That didn't help, I was forced to take gym, the class was co-ed at that point so I figured I might be safe. Having girls in the class I hoped that maybe I wouldn't get picked on, wrong. I skipped that class A LOT, thankfully I had a gym teacher who seemed to silently understand, nothing was ever said. Plus he saw the other guys picking on me because I was skinny. They called me anorexic, which I wasn't I could eat them under the table and not put on any weight. I wouldn't go if we were doing something that might make me sweat, and or I wouldn't make any effort. There was no way I was going to shower after class, I would have probably been gang raped. No joke. One time while we were at the Wheels Inn using their sports facilities I had a classmate approach me while in the locker room. He came over to where I was changing with his dick in his hand, thank god I had one friend in that class who was there that day. Since I wasn't alone he went back to his friends. My friend thought I should report him, which I didn't because he had four other friends who I knew since public school and they all picked on me. They would have hunted me down and beat the crap out of me. To say the least it did nothing to help my self esteem, it only made it worse.

There was one bigger guy I knew from public school that was nice to me, he once made me take off my shirt when we were measuring body fat. I only wanted to lift up the side of my shirt, there was no reason I needed to take it off like the other guys were doing. The girls didn't have to take their shirts off. Of course I got made fun of by the other students. I later found out that he was gay...so that was creepy.

It was horrible, but at least I passed the class, I did well on the health class part of the course. I have terrible hand eye coordination, never throw anything at me 90% of the time I won't be able to catch it. LOL It sucks when you are a guy and can't catch a ball. I got hit in the face with a volleyball once, we were playing blind with a blanket over the net and some jerk on the other side spike it over the net. Of course I has to hit me, and everyone on the other side knew exactly who it hit without even seeing it. There was an uproar of laughter, which made me feel even worse. The teacher let me sit out the rest of the class, I got hit hard, I was okay but dazed. A small part of me felt like it was done on purpose, even though they wouldn't have known where I was standing, but I was the only one who got beamed like that. Unlucky for me I knew all the girls in the class and they were all the popular stuck up type, except one she wasn't stuck up. But they all laughed at me at times too. The only girl who didn't just sat there, I guess she didn't want to say anything because those other girls were her friends. The only saving grace was that she did come up to me after class when her friends weren't around to see if I was okay. She was one of the few popular nice girls, everyone liked her. Gee...there's something there eh? You can be popular and well liked if you are just nice and not a total ***** like most act. Sorry to go on about that...

Girls can be just as cruel, there used to be this one trio that like to make fun of the mentally disabled kids. One of them I knew since public school and she was always kind of stuck up, she came from a well off family and was quite the *****. Her parents loved me, they wish their daughter would date a guy like me instead of the bad boys they went out with. We all sat together at our grade 8 graduation since they organized everyone alphabetically. Anyway, her and her friends would often tease these kids, especially the ones that dated each other. They would make them kiss each other then laugh at them and make comments on how gross it was. They were very cruel to them, I felt so bad for them because I knew what it was liked to be teased and some of them didn't even know what was going on. Sometimes a teacher would catch them and give them honeysuckle for it, but they'd just laugh it off. It was the most disgusting display of bullying I had ever witnessed.

 

[Stepchild]

Sci-Fi, wow, you really had it hard at school. I guess being short is something that affects boys in particular. For girls I suppose it's mostly being overweight that makes you bully-worthy to some. (Not that I was, I was just ugly otherwise.)

And yeah, I really hated gym classes too. I've never been particularly good at any sports, so I was always picked among the last for any team (what a cliché). I hated playing baseball the most, because that was pretty much the only sport we played together with the boys. And since my bullies were mostly boys... There were plenty of embarrassing moments there for me as well. I don't really remember much of it, though. I think I might have repressed most of those memories at some point (though I'm not an expert in psychology, so I'm not entirely sure if that's how that works, or if I just have a bad memory). I think I could get the old feelings and memories back if I prodded my memory a bit, but oddly enough I'm not very enthusiastic to do that.

Oh yeah, girls are definitely capable of just as much cruelty as boys. In my class they mostly left me alone (though they obviously laughed along with everyone else when I was the butt of the joke). As for the nice popular girl who came to see if you were okay after you got hit by that volleyball (ouch), that goes nicely along with what I said in an earlier post:

I remember reading somewhere that the most popular kids usually don't have a need to bully, it's only the second popular ones and lower who do. There was this one guy who was very handsome and well-liked and did well in school, who was always very nice to my friend and I - although we resided at pretty much the lowermost rung of the class hierarchy. He didn't have to be nasty to us, because he already had all the acceptance that he needed.

 

[Sci-Fi]

That's an interesting theory, seeing our two stories together it kind of makes sense. I've known of a few who were considered "popular" and were very nice and well liked by everyone, except for those who were jealous of them. You never saw them picking on anyone who'd be considered "lesser", most of them would be extra nice to them. Either they have the acceptance they crave or never looked for it nor need it in the first place. They see no need to be the ***** or jock-ass (see what I did there) and pick on other people to make themselves feel powerful or better. I've always though of the levels of bullying, but not too much about the levels of popularity.

 

[blackwave]

I was bullied because I never retaliated. Moral of the story: retaliate.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I was bullied because I never retaliated. Moral of the story: retaliate.

Blackwave is dead on.

I got a lot of bullshit in secondary school, as far as I could tell the only reason was because I was a nice guy who didn't do anything back and they assumed I was "weak" because of that. I never did anything to antagonise anyone.

Bullies are sad, miserable, despicable excuses for human beings. They usually make others feel uncomfortable in order to project their own inadequacies onto them.

The bullying I received primarily started after I befriended and offered support to someone who was a nice guy, but was getting picked on because of that. I, by association, became targeted too.

The thing is that the great majority of bullies are total wimps and cowards. The minute you stand up to them, they just don't know what to do and they fold like a pack of cards.

The scariest moment of the bullying (and perhaps my life thus far) was when it reached it's apex. The bullies had formed a gang around 15 strong, and they crowded around me and my friend and started making the usual unpleasant remarks.

One began pushing me around and started messing around with the rucksack was wearing - I turned round and shoved him as hard as I could, sending him flying. He got up immediately, ran behind his big group of friends, and whined hilariously to the ringleader: "He just punched me!"

He sounded like a little kid. So, this ringleader says to me (again, while hiding behind his friends): "Did you punch _____?"

I said "No, but if you want me to I can."

The crowd gave up the harassment then and left like the bunch of pansies that they were. If they had decided to fight us, I'm pretty sure we would have got a heavy kicking, but the only reason they crowd like that is because they don't have the balls to fight in the first place.

The bullying stopped altogether when I hit the ringleader a few weeks later. I suffered further under one seperate idiot a year or two later, the kind of guy who would shove kids years younger than him over for no reason.

He stopped that kind of behaviour when one day I ripped his glasses off his face, threw them down the corridor, and then shoved him over. He was completely taken aback.

A member of staff saw me do it, but he was strangely deaf to the idiot bully's whining. I'm still thankful to that guy for seeing what was really going on

I've never been a violent person, but there comes a time when that's the only thing that works. The staff at the college were useless with dealing with the morons and actually indirectly encouraged the behaviour by being really soft on them.

At one point, I had to write a list of how I'd been wronged, which was then showed to the bullies so that they could "apologise"! Of course, that actually made things worse...before I started hitting people.

So I'd advise everyone who is getting lots of honeysuckle from idiots to know and do 3 things:

A: Realise that the bullies themselves are weak and pathetic, not you. The reason they pick on you is envy and/or because they themselves lack the integrity and qualities you have.

B: Don't let it get you down. Talk to someone, whether parents, a friend, or someone on an online forum.

C: If nothing is being done, give them problems back. Violence should ALWAYS be a last resort, but if it's getting too much to bear, sometimes it works wonders. With my case, it was literally the only route left.

I was lucky in that I was quite a burly guy. If you're not physically strong or heavily built, make up for it by being cunning. Wait until they're on their own without their cronies, then intimidate them back.

Trip them up or corner them, get right in their face and tell them that you're going to make life very unpleasant for them if they don't leave you alone.

If you're not confident in your physical prowess, do this in a public place.

The great majority of bullies will crumble instantly just from a strong verbal threat and if it comes down to a fight, there will be plenty of witnesses to break it up and back you up because the person who torments you will almost always be universally known to be a scumbag.

If you do have to hit a bully, go for the ribs and stomach. That way you will usually leave no marks, and they will not be able to cry to authority that you "bullied" them.

I know this post seems very centred on violence and unpleasant retaliation, but I felt that it really liberated me. I have never had to be violent since dealing with these types of people, but it set me free from a truly unpleasant prison that I was locked in for several years.

The majority of the time, it won't even come to blows. Simply standing up to one does the trick. If anyone is being bullied and wants my advice, please drop me a PM. It's a topic I feel very strongly on.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Hatred has no boundaries..I get it @ home N aboard.
Even my daughter Kelsie got picked on becuase she was pretty. Ugly fat bitches used to beat her up in school.

I over heard my aunty tell my step father not long ago...or maybe she said it loud enough so I could hear it.
" why do you pick on your son???..becuz he's a beautiful man?

My daughther dosnt think shes pretty @ all. I dont think Im handsome @ all.
It not only effected our self esteem..
It effected my mind, the way I think and live.

 

[Kataphractos]

If you do have to hit a bully, go for the ribs and stomach. That way you will usually leave no marks, and they will not be able to cry to authority that you "bullied" them.

Go for the solar plexus. It's just under the chest, about an inch or so below where the ribs join the sternum. Even a little guy can leave a gorilla on the ground painfully gasping for breath for a minute or two.

 

[SourGlow]

I was bullied in school. Some of the most notable things were getting tripped, getting pushed, getting dodgeballs thrown at my head by my own teammates, getting my hair pulled and almost getting my ponytail chopped off with scissors, getting called the b-word and ugly, being called an oreo, being called the n word ch word by racists and a family member. I was also touched inappropriately by two guys that used to make fun of me all the time and seemingly hated my guts and my teacher did nothing about it. My school was pretty good about eradicating bullies (they would send you to a juvenile detention center if you physically harmed someone and you could get expelled on your second offense), but I was still verbally tormented all the time.

 

[funkymonkey]

I was bullied as a kid, because I was a gentle and nice kid.

Since then I have learned martial arts and other psychological weaponry stuff, fuk with me now and it will be YOU who regrets it.

Do not let ANYONE ever bully you again, bullies are scum.

 

[Bluey]

I was bullied as a kid, because I was a gentle and nice kid.

Since then I have learned martial arts and other psychological weaponry stuff, fuk with me now and it will be YOU who regrets it.

Do not let ANYONE ever bully you again, bullies are scum.

Good that your not going to get pushed around now days.

Let me tell you something that I think now days though.

Bullies are not scum. They are ppl that are in pain.
There is a reason why a person (adult or a child) feels the need to push another person around for nothing else then there own selfish gratification.

9 times out of 10 there is always a reason why ppl bully. Just has a child you don't see this.

maybe the bully has not got a good home life or has been bullied or is being bullied themselves. Some children and even some adults think its normal to bully.

I know its hard when all you wont to do is kick someones teeth in but to be the better person you have to try and look beyond what you see.

Sometimes though to give a good slap back dose stop a lot of trouble