Lonewolf33 said:
Phantimos said:
People fall in love all the time, it is so easy to simply "fall" in love.
The question here is, is it real?
A person can say they are in love with you, hang out with you, and talk till the sun comes up. Every time you are together you are inebriated on that intoxicating feeling of attraction and "Love" for each other that you want to spend every waking moment with each other. This sounds like romance, like it could be real, but its not.....its a high and reality is always there, waiting for you to crash.
Later, when the romance has faded, if they don't do anything to prove they actually care about you back by making sacrifices or just accepting you for who you are, not what they thought you were, then that person never loved you....they only loved what you gave them.
When you feel that you've fallen in love, take a second to think. Are you in love? or are you heavily romanticizing the image of your partner that you can't see their flaws?
To summarize, its not a question of if you can fall in love, its when. And when you do, just be careful. Set healthy boundaries and protect yourself.
Yes the best way to protect yourself is don’t do it. Unless you’re someone moderately successful st dating its better to be closed off no potential for hurt or rejection.
That's not the point i am making.
Fall in love, make your mistakes and learn from them. Getting hurt is an unavoidable part of life, it helps us learn, it helps us grow. The key is to make sure you aren't hurt too much.
Just have healthy boundaries, and by that i mean, when you fall in love, do not go ape-honeysuckle, do not go overboard because you feel this overwhelming urge to show your love. Doing so will make it hurt so much more when the ugly truth comes out.
Have a slow, steady, and measured approach. Observe your partner and do not be afraid to disagree/challenge them. Anyone who will leave/threaten to leave because of that is not someone you want in your life and could easily be using your love to manipulate you into getting what they love to get from you.
However, don't you dare avoid love. It is a beautiful feeling that is so mesmerizing in its beauty, so hypnotic in its complexity, so mysterious in its nature that poets, novelists, and songwriters have been trying to put it to words for centuries and they have barely scratched its surface. I am referring of course to healthy love.
But, whatever you do, its your decision, your choice.