Can you still find contentment in life despite being familyless?

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It is possible to survive without family but it can be a huge drawback. My sister died in 1982, dad in '89 and mom in '90. Some of the main drawbacks:1. You meet a woman, she has tons of family and you have none. This has happened many times. There are so many of them to "judge" you and sway her oppinion of you and her decision to get involved. You have only yourself, your intuition and logic to decide about "her". In the end, for me it was a losing battle because of sheer "strength in numbers". 2. You've already gotten involved with her. Every family member of hers has their own problems and baggage. If it becomes her problem it becomes your problem. Soon you can become overwhelmed by her family. 3. You have no one to turn to when things go wrong, no "safety net" emotional or otherwise. When she's gone, there is no one to turn to. 4. A lot of families judge the new guy by his family. "If you want to know the tree you need to look at his roots". Since there is no information available, you can and will be easily dismissed by them. 5. Some of her family members, mainly brothers, may have violent tendencies. This can place the new guy in danger. 6. If a dispute with her starts, her family will always award "credibility" to her, no matter what she says.
There are many more reasons why having a family is plus in your favor. Once they are gone, their gone. I've found that most consider it depressing if they ask for my story and I tell it. People have a natural desire about another's family/past, but telling a story that's too depressing(even if none of it was your fault) drives them away. I find it's best to "alter" my story a little. I don't mention my sister, I say I was an only child. It cuts down on the depression factor a little. It has been hard living this way, but survival is neccesary. I agree you can find(or try to find) a new family, but it gets harder the older you get. Once you pass 45yo, it becomes almost impossible. Other people your age are so ingrained into their lives and children(some even have grandchildren) and the doors are all closed. I found women when I was in my 30's fairly regularly because they were more "flexable".
I can't say I'm content, no. Is it possible to be? Yes. You must have freinds who care, belong to some "group".....the military comes to mind. They say that is like a brotherhood.
 
Hi Eric, it sounds as if you have had a few ruff encounters. Using the military for a source of family, really only works when you are young and unattached. As soldiers get older, marry and have children, you lose touch just as easily. The comraderie of knowing you live within a relatively close radius of people who shop at the same tailor as you do helps to give a sense of not being alone. I mean, at least somebody knows that you are there even if it is just your commander. The other downside is service members move around so much that it becomes hard to keep regular contact.

Night shift is also a sure fire way to become isolated. Night shift workers tend to sleep through their days even on their nights off. How long have you been working night shift?

I am sorry to hear about your sister. I have several brothers and I am not close to any of them. I have one brother who calls me once in a while, but, the others I am not even sure of where they live. I literally feel as if I have no family. If I never told anyone that I do have family, they would never suspect it. I don't get calls, emails, christmas cards or family gathering invitations. I imagine, this was all self-inflicted. I have always been separate from the pack and when I grew up I moved away and moved around frequently. I guess over time, they just stopped wasting stamps and accumulating long distance charges calling around from country to country or state to state attempting to keep up with me. I never really noticed at first because I was so caught up in my life, my career, and my adventures. I think that no matter who you are, if you have not established and nurtured good friends/family bonds, it will catch up to you eventually. Now, in comes those theories of human development, there is a stage where we start to look back over our lives at the things we have accomplished and things that we wished we could do over. Shortly after that the reality of our mortality creeps in. The lucky ones are surrounded by loving families to be beside us as we sail into our goldern years. Others, if they have not reconciled their nil or absent support systems start to wonder, who is going to take care of me when I can no longer take care of myself. Who will miss me when I am gone? When I go, I take the recipes with me. Remember, I am speaking on theories, people to not fit into theories so easily. Most people do not even reach their maximum potential. Some people get stuck in a level because of tragic events or any number of things.

I am sorry that this post was so long. Insomnia came to visit me last night. How long have you been working night shift?
Eric said:
It is possible to survive without family but it can be a huge drawback. My sister died in 1982, dad in '89 and mom in '90. Some of the main drawbacks:1. You meet a woman, she has tons of family and you have none. This has happened many times. There are so many of them to "judge" you and sway her oppinion of you and her decision to get involved. You have only yourself, your intuition and logic to decide about "her". In the end, for me it was a losing battle because of sheer "strength in numbers". 2. You've already gotten involved with her. Every family member of hers has their own problems and baggage. If it becomes her problem it becomes your problem. Soon you can become overwhelmed by her family. 3. You have no one to turn to when things go wrong, no "safety net" emotional or otherwise. When she's gone, there is no one to turn to. 4. A lot of families judge the new guy by his family. "If you want to know the tree you need to look at his roots". Since there is no information available, you can and will be easily dismissed by them. 5. Some of her family members, mainly brothers, may have violent tendencies. This can place the new guy in danger. 6. If a dispute with her starts, her family will always award "credibility" to her, no matter what she says.
There are many more reasons why having a family is plus in your favor. Once they are gone, their gone. I've found that most consider it depressing if they ask for my story and I tell it. People have a natural desire about another's family/past, but telling a story that's too depressing(even if none of it was your fault) drives them away. I find it's best to "alter" my story a little. I don't mention my sister, I say I was an only child. It cuts down on the depression factor a little. It has been hard living this way, but survival is neccesary. I agree you can find(or try to find) a new family, but it gets harder the older you get. Once you pass 45yo, it becomes almost impossible. Other people your age are so ingrained into their lives and children(some even have grandchildren) and the doors are all closed. I found women when I was in my 30's fairly regularly because they were more "flexable".
I can't say I'm content, no. Is it possible to be? Yes. You must have freinds who care, belong to some "group".....the military comes to mind. They say that is like a brotherhood.
 
I was never in the military, it just is what I see on TV, etc. I started working night shift 11:30PM to 7:30AM around Dec. 1 2007. Getting tired of it. I'm always looking for other graveyard shift workers online if I can find them to correspond with. Any others out there? I do see a lot who talk of insomnia, but I don't know what timezone your in. This is a great site.
 
Eric said:
I was never in the military, it just is what I see on TV, etc. I started working night shift 11:30PM to 7:30AM around Dec. 1 2007. Getting tired of it. I'm always looking for other graveyard shift workers online if I can find them to correspond with. Any others out there? I do see a lot who talk of insomnia, but I don't know what timezone your in. This is a great site.

HST is my zone.
 

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