Complications

[epileptic]

I dont know about the rest of you, but it seems I have this knack for allowing myself to get into complicated situations. Some of you might or might not know that I am in the middle of a divorce with my 2nd wife and because of things getting heated, I got a lawyer. You know, I gotta stand up for my fatherly rights. But for the most part, things have cooled down a little and things arent so dramatic at the moment, so thats good.

So now, there is this entirely different complicated situation that I probably do have the ability to opt out of, but im not sure if i should. You see, I somehow got back into communications with an old girl friend from almost 12 years ago. Based on what I got out of what she was saying, shes at a very low spot in her life.

Where too begin.....

Well, I guess the main issue of concern is her addiction to heroine. She had said she went into rehabilitation for it and she found christianity as a way to help make her strong, and according to her, she did stop for awhile, but then she got hooked on it again. Its just that this situation she found herself in. She had no place to go, so this guy offered to help her get on her feet. Its too bad he does heroine and gives her some everytime she needs it. So, no matter how hard she says she wants to quit, it is going to be near impossible when you are living with someone who always has it.

Based on our history of us being a couple once upon a time, there is still an emotional connection and I want to be able to help her, but im not sure how. Im not sure if she is fabricating certain things to get sympathy from me. Sometimes I thought that her mentioning of finding god and christianity was just a front to make herself not look like such a bad person. Im also afraid that we both might get emotionally attached to one another and Im not sure if I can deal with that right now. And not to mention my involvement in dealing with someone that does heroine. Especially when Im trying to fight for 50/50 placement with my son. My association with a heroine user might make all of this blow up in my face.

But, she does seem like she is very upset and alone in this world. And I do want to be able to help her, its just that all of this is complicated. I guess the only thing that I can do is try and be supportive and lend out a shoulder to cry on. I just wish there was more that I could do.

 

[Aedammair]

Dude that sucks. I don't know. I would try to help my friend but distantly. I wouldn't let them stay at my place or lend them money. Often when people are addicted they just try to take advantage of your kindness. If my kids were at stake I would be very careful. The fact that she was a late girlfriend just means that that emotional factor will be messing with you head. Try and keep even headed about this. Kids come first then see if you can't help your exGF. I got a friend who was going to change the world once he got out of highschool. He was going to go to college and we were even planning on sharing an apartment. Then He got into all kinds of drugs. now he sits in his parents house and plays runescape all day. He works at panara bread and just uses his money for video games and drugs. He isn't going anywhere with his life. The worst thing that his parents are doing is letting him stay there. If life is a breeze why change? If you are going to be starving on the streets you might buy other things aside from drugs. I know sometimes that is how it works out

 

[Jesse]

My advice is to not get romantically involved with her. You've got too much going on right now with your marriage and son. Even if you were single and not a father it'd be best to not get involved with her because of her addiction. It will only lead to the further destruction of her own life and if you get too involved she could bring you down too. Do everything you can as a friend only and don't give her any money. She needs professional rehabilitation.

 

[samba101]

You can't help her get off drugs she has to do that herself. I wouldn't go into a relationship with her because you are just coming out of one and will need that time to adjust being on your own. People turn to god for all types of things mainly when things get bad doesn't mean it changes the person inside or makes them a new person.

I'd support her from afar but remember she's an ex for a reason but still can be a good friend. I've worked with two girls who had heroine addictions and they were taking it everyday, one thought about giving up but I honestly don't think she will. Apparently the withdrawal symptoms are pretty bad and the euphoria is intehnse.

You don't need extra baggage in your life, it might be fine to begin with but what happens when you see the effects it's having on her, she's likely to become a different person if she can't get a hold of heroine, in some cases she could I'm not saying she would stoop to stealing and selling stuff just for that next hit.

Check out Narcotics Anonymous for family and friends, there's a wealth of information there and you will hear from people who have watched a loved one slowly become hooked. Remember it's not in your power to make her change.

 

[epileptic]

Well, I have no money to give her and I have no place for her to stay, and if she doesnt understand that, she will. All I can offer her are my kind words and friendly support. Im not going to surround myself around the drama that surrounds this situation. If she tells me about drama happening in her life, I will gladly give her my take and suggest things, but thats where i draw the line. Im not going to try and be some knight in shining armour that will save her from herself. She also mentioned that she wants to proove to me that she can quit. Honestly, Ill believe it when I see it. Its easy to say things how you wish them to be, but its another thing acting upon it, especially when you are talking about addiction. Everything that revolves around this situation, I'm trying to be very cautious about. And if things get worse at where she is staying, and she gets kicked out, she might have to eventually move away to a different state. We'll have to see how things unfold.

Dude that sucks. I don't know. I would try to help my friend but distantly. I wouldn't let them stay at my place or lend them money. Often when people are addicted they just try to take advantage of your kindness. If my kids were at stake I would be very careful. The fact that she was a late girlfriend just means that that emotional factor will be messing with you head. Try and keep even headed about this. Kids come first then see if you can't help your exGF. I got a friend who was going to change the world once he got out of highschool. He was going to go to college and we were even planning on sharing an apartment. Then He got into all kinds of drugs. now he sits in his parents house and plays runescape all day. He works at panara bread and just uses his money for video games and drugs. He isn't going anywhere with his life. The worst thing that his parents are doing is letting him stay there. If life is a breeze why change? If you are going to be starving on the streets you might buy other things aside from drugs. I know sometimes that is how it works out

 

[allenborder]

hi there...

I am a Freelancer programmer in India, I am new to this field of freelancing, before that i was/am a corporate programmer. I have a prospective client in USA( a private company), who says that right now his financial condition is not in proper shape and he cannot pay me money till 3 months. (till November) and he can pay me only after his loan will get passed.

In security of my payment, the client is offering me shares in his company at $2.5([a]. i dont know whether this is correct price) and also told me that he expects a $12 dividend per share in next 2 years.

I am an Indian citizen, i dnt know how can i get my money if i do accept his offer.. and 2ndly as i am an indian citizen, [c] am i allowed to have shares of US Pvt company? [d] The shares are not even listed anywhere and the problem is how will i sell it?

 

[Catalyst]

Well, I guess the main issue of concern is her addiction to heroine.

RUN!