Couple questions for you...

[grainofrice24]

I hate to post things like this on ALL but I figure that we're all on this forum for a reason...and I have a funny feeling that it all stems from the SAME root reason/behaviour.

1) Are you dismissive of other people? - Do you get a little annoyed when people come and bother you when you have other things to do...but then feel like crap when you're alone an want to have someone to talk to/be with?

2) Are you self-centered? - Do you catch yourself thinking about your situation/surroundings from exclusively your perspective? Are you regularly enlightened by discussing a certain topic that presents situations from others' perspectives? Do you find helping others to be a burden, but simultaneously wonder why nobody helps you?

3) Do you think you're unique/special? Ever feel like nobody understands you? But then interact with someone and think "I have no idea where he/she is coming from...".

Just some ideas that struck me...(no I didn't rip these questions off some stupid questionnaire...these are straight from my head to the keyboard ).

My answers:
1) Yes...I am dismissive...I don't mean to, but sometimes I catch myself treating people like coats that I put on when I'm ready to wear them. Sometimes it just seems like I have so much going on that I don't have time for other people. I don't stop liking/loving them...I just have obligations. These days it's mostly work. My problem is I'm not the smartest/most organized guy in the world...so I find that some tasks take me longer than they should...hence less time for things I care about - other people. That sounds like an excuse doesn't it...

2) Yes I am self centered. By thinking that others care about MY answers to MY questions proves it :club:. (Just trying to offer an even playing field ).

I'm trying to be more concious of others' but I am often not as helpful as I could be. Some people just naturally are (or seem) happy to help! I'm trying/changing but i'm always aware of my starting point!

3) I like to think that I am unique. But my favourite line in life is: "You're unique....just like everyone else!". I like to think that nobody else writes code on a Saturday night ( ) or listens to Bruce Andrews, or can play "As Time Goes By" on the acoustic guitar but has a Slayer CD in the car :shy:. My life is in pretty deep left-field. But then so is everybody's right?

ALL...your thoughts? Bonus points if you can name the Bruce Andrews song I'm listening to.

*HINT it's how I feel right now...and pretty much all the time!

 

[LoneKiller]

None Of The Above.


Godspeed.
-LK

 

[Ak5]

1. I am not dismissive
2. I am self-centered
3. I am unique

Hope my brief response helps.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Those are not me, but I know someone who fits that to a T.

 

[HC22]

Not bad , I think this is a useful and interesting topic, the problems some of the people here have could derive from the points you just made, so it's useful to pint them out to make others reflect.

1) No, I am always very open to others, or at least I hope so.

2) I don't think I'm self centred, I'm naturally interested in other people and often try to see things from their perspectives, I also genuinely like to help others, but I do feel burdened at times because I feel like I'm not strong enough to do it .

3) No I don't actually feel unique, I think there are many people that are similar to me ... I just struggle to find them.

 

[The Good Citizen]

I think the fact you can step back and ask these questions of yourself is only to your credit, its not self centred as such but self aware and self questioning which is a good thing. Plenty of people that think they have life sorted down to a fine art would not ask these questions of themselves but still display all of the behaiours you mentioned. Most people do to be honest, they are typical human traits but recognising these as your/my own inescapable failings is important I think.

 

[Prometeus]

I'm not dismissive and I love helping people out, almost to the point where people feel it's "too much" helping. I think many people who are alone have this problem which makes them a bit self-centered:

Everyone likes and wants to speak about their life, what they do and so on, and that's fine, usually not a problem. Some people who are very lonely rarely get to ventilate though, and when they meet someone who listens, they tend to be a bit egoistic and dominate the conversation.

About the uniqeness, yes, almost narcissistic.

 

[Solitary man]

Hey, no-one's perfect. No doubt many people who use this site and are lonely loners are so because of all of the reasons you've listed and many more. Maybe some of us deserve to be lonely. It's OK to be critical of other people just as it is to be critical of oneself. Just don't overdo it.

I think everyone is dismissive and self centred to a certain degree, and everyone likes to think of themselves as unique and special. With some people however, this behaviour can be extreme and cause real problems, both for them and other people.

Personally, I like to listen to other people's opinions and POV, in fact I feel privileged that they deem me important enough to share them with me. As an only child I suppose I may have been more self centred than some people when I was younger, but I really don't like selfish people, and don't consider myself to be that way.

Unique? Special? Yes, we all are, but I'm not a narcissist.

 

[putter65]

Hey, no-one's perfect. No doubt many people who use this site and are lonely loners are so because of all of the reasons you've listed and many more. Maybe some of us deserve to be lonely. It's OK to be critical of other people just as it is to be critical of oneself. Just don't overdo it.

I think everyone is dismissive and self centred to a certain degree, and everyone likes to think of themselves as unique and special. With some people however, this behaviour can be extreme and cause real problems, both for them and other people.

Personally, I like to listen to other people's opinions and POV, in fact I feel privileged that they deem me important enough to share them with me. As an only child I suppose I may have been more self centred than some people when I was younger, but I really don't like selfish people, and don't consider myself to be that way.

Unique? Special? Yes, we all are, but I'm not a narcissist.

I like people, I like talking to people.

But I hate groups of people. I hate all that showing off trying to be the centre of attention. So in a large groups of people I am not interested in talking to anybody. That's with people I know as well.

 

[fox]

1) Dismissive.. I am not sure the meaning of this. If a person is to ask for help, this does not bother me. But to be around people frightens me. Is this dismissive?

2) Do not think so.. at least, no more than any other person..

3) No.. I am not unique or special.. I am stupid and do not understand people much, but this is not unique..

 

[Okiedokes]

I can be dismissive if it's not a good day for me. It depends on who it is though because with a friend who I can talk with..I don't think I could fully dismiss. I would communicate with them somehow..

I like to see how other people are and what kinds of actions they take. We never stop learning new things so I don't form solid opinions so easily unless it's something I've always been firm about. I like to make other people happy when I can, and think of other people's feelings too. So not self centered. Self centered would be a lonely way to live.

Pff lol. Yeah I'm so special. haha. Not. No, I think a lot of people are very similar to me and we all are quite similiar in our wants and needs in life.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

See here... Yes, No, and Yes.