veegee
Member
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2014
- Messages
- 18
- Reaction score
- 0
Easier to talk here...everyone out here has accepted their loneliness and are pretty much happy with it. M an awkward person outside the comforts of my work...that is with family and friends or better put ...in my personal space. I dont connect with people around me....more of an introvert. However, in my work space...i change like a chameleon, am confident, can hold conversations with my colleagues, clients, peers etc. was separated about 4 yrs back....the effects of it seem to be hitting now...or maybe they were there and i was living in denial. I drowned myself in my work...went off social networking sites, stopped talking to my friends, acquaintances....it was daunting to listen to their sympathies and questions "what will you do now" "oh my poor girl, cudnt u have adjusted, its hard to find a husband" "have you found someone" etc...who wanted to hear all of it....specially when your spouse was cheating on you for years and then goes on to hurt your child....who wants that stuff....its better to be on ur own.
That was a bold step...specially from the country i come from....and unfortunately i had a pretty modern upbringing. Since then i have tried to avoid people...and their questions on my marital status etc....however over a period of time....i have realised its pretty tough being on ur own. U cud have the best of everything but if u dint have someone to talk to it kinda sucks. How much more can i hide behind my work, books.....i have read a whole bunch of people recommending "get a hobby" ....yes its nice to have a hobby....but how long can u keep urself occupied? Dont we all yearn for some human interaction? The need to communicate ....to talk to that someone....just to share what u feel....d need to be understood....?
I know ...i know....its a pretty long post.....but i think after reading what everyone has shared....m emboldened to write, to vent.....my son has a life of his own at school.....i have a decent relationship with my ex....dint make sense to make it worse....atleast for the sake of the child. It has definitely helped my son, my ex in laws are happy....they get to meet their grand child....but somewhere in doing all of this....i feel completely left out....as if no one really cares about me...its all good, till i can do things for them. What if i am incapable of being d support i am today....wat if something happens to me....d other day i fainted at home....and i was lying on d floor for a good half hour.....that seemed like a turningpoint. The "what if's" suddenly have taken over my life.
Sorry guys .....for a long rant
How do you all cope with this stuff?
That was a bold step...specially from the country i come from....and unfortunately i had a pretty modern upbringing. Since then i have tried to avoid people...and their questions on my marital status etc....however over a period of time....i have realised its pretty tough being on ur own. U cud have the best of everything but if u dint have someone to talk to it kinda sucks. How much more can i hide behind my work, books.....i have read a whole bunch of people recommending "get a hobby" ....yes its nice to have a hobby....but how long can u keep urself occupied? Dont we all yearn for some human interaction? The need to communicate ....to talk to that someone....just to share what u feel....d need to be understood....?
I know ...i know....its a pretty long post.....but i think after reading what everyone has shared....m emboldened to write, to vent.....my son has a life of his own at school.....i have a decent relationship with my ex....dint make sense to make it worse....atleast for the sake of the child. It has definitely helped my son, my ex in laws are happy....they get to meet their grand child....but somewhere in doing all of this....i feel completely left out....as if no one really cares about me...its all good, till i can do things for them. What if i am incapable of being d support i am today....wat if something happens to me....d other day i fainted at home....and i was lying on d floor for a good half hour.....that seemed like a turningpoint. The "what if's" suddenly have taken over my life.
Sorry guys .....for a long rant
How do you all cope with this stuff?