Dating for a while - but lack of holding hands and kiss only on cheek

[TheLonelyNomad]

Hey fellow buddies.

So I have been dating a girl I have been paired up with, for the last three months.

I like her, and I guess she likes me. Although we went to a basketball game tonight, and while she did seem to cheer and clap, she seemed dismal. I am guessing that she was tired from working all day.

Anyhow, my question is after which date do you guys recommend I start holding her hands while walking in public?

I am soooo stupid. We have been on what, seven dates so far, and I have yet to be "aggressive" enough to hold her hands. Sadly, it's usually the guys who have to initiate the hand holding. Or at least place my arms around her neck.

I am more timid and modest in that I don't want to just "grab" her hands and force her to hold my hands while walking to the movie theater, etc.

However, the good progress, in terms of intimaacy, is that my girlfriend is the one who initiated the "hugs" whenever we meet up for dinner dates, and hugs when we part ways. This started after the third date.

I then initiated the "peck" kiss on her cheek, in addition to the hugs, when we met up about a month ago.

However, I think I have to start holding her hands when we have dinner together. Otherwise, she might dislike me and lose interest.

 

[Tiina63]

I think it is nice that she initiates hugs when you meet and part ways and that you kiss her. I wouldn't worry about the holding hands issue.

 

[TheLonelyNomad]

I think it is nice that she initiates hugs when you meet and part ways and that you kiss her. I wouldn't worry about the holding hands issue.

^^ Thanks, Tiina63! I appreciate your feedback.

 

[KoosKoos]

Gratz man! Seven dates is quite a big handful really and things are still going good so there's a pretty bright future ahead for you guys if you ask me

You should definitely go for it during the next date, if she doesn't mind you giving her a peck on the cheek then I am most certain she won't mind holding hands, heck she even wouldn't mind a proper kiss I bet! But stick with holding hands for now haha, the kiss will happen in due time, don't wait too long for it though, I say do it in the date after the holding hands one. Or just simply when it feels right you go for it, whichever one you feel works best.

And don't have any doubts about her not liking you hey, just from what you've written makes it pretty obvious that she's into you, you otherwise wouldn't have reached the third date let alone the seventh if she didn't like you so you are most certainly in the green here, keep that in mind, erase any negative doubts and have fun!

I hope for only the best for you two! Have a great week ahead.

 

[Tiina63]

It could also be that maybe she just doesn't like holding hands? I remember going out with a man who was a keen hand holder and I found it frustrating as it meant that I had to go at his pace all the time and sometimes I cross the road against the lights if the road is empty (this is not illegal here) but he held me back whenever I tried to do this and I wanted to tear my hair out!!

 

[TheLonelyNomad]

Gratz man! Seven dates is quite a big handful really and things are still going good so there's a pretty bright future ahead for you guys if you ask me

You should definitely go for it during the next date, if she doesn't mind you giving her a peck on the cheek then I am most certain she won't mind holding hands, heck she even wouldn't mind a proper kiss I bet! But stick with holding hands for now haha, the kiss will happen in due time, don't wait too long for it though, I say do it in the date after the holding hands one. Or just simply when it feels right you go for it, whichever one you feel works best.

And don't have any doubts about her not liking you hey, just from what you've written makes it pretty obvious that she's into you, you otherwise wouldn't have reached the third date let alone the seventh if she didn't like you so you are most certainly in the green here, keep that in mind, erase any negative doubts and have fun!

I hope for only the best for you two! Have a great week ahead.

^^ Hey Kooskoos, thanks for your feedback on my relationship with my current girlfriend!

I also made a thread in the positive life section because we went on another dinner date tonight.

Except tonight's date (actually last night) was special because today is my birthday!

She was nice enough to buy me dinner, and we also went to watch a late night movie at the theater.

I also placed my arms around her shoulder, and she liked it.

We also played phone app games before the movie, and she was leaning against me! LOL!

Anyhow, it was a great night.

We plan on going to another sporting event next week.

I am thankful for my current girlfriend, as I have other regular friends (some who are literally "frenemies") who didn't even bother to call me or send me a text message about my birthday.

---

It could also be that maybe she just doesn't like holding hands? I remember going out with a man who was a keen hand holder and I found it frustrating as it meant that I had to go at his pace all the time and sometimes I cross the road against the lights if the road is empty (this is not illegal here) but he held me back whenever I tried to do this and I wanted to tear my hair out!!

^^ Oh great! I never thought about a girl not wanting to hold hands, because she has to keep up with my walking pace! Good one, Tiina63.

But for last night's dinner date, we did hold hands! Yaaay!

I also placed my arms around her shoulder while we were walking to the movies.


Now the only difference we have, is that we tend to both drive separate cars when meeting up for dinner and going to places.

I feel bad. But she lives far away, and it would be awkward for me to drive out to her house, located 8 miles away, and go to town, eat dinner and do our date activties, and then driver her home, and then I drive back to town direction.

What do you guys think about the car issue here?

 

[Tiina63]

I think it makes sense to carry on as you are, using your own cars. Have you mentioned it to her?

 

[TheLonelyNomad]

I think it makes sense to carry on as you are, using your own cars. Have you mentioned it to her?

Hey Tiina63, yes, I did talk this over with my girlfriend.

I think it makes sense to drive separately, as she lives far from town where I live closer to, and where we usually meet up for dinners or activities.

I guess we made plans where I would have to pick her up at her work place when we go to sporting events in town.

It's all cool. Thanks!

 

[bender22]

I'd be more concerned about kissing her rather than holding hands. Some couples don't do the hand holding thing, it's no big deal. But it's unusual to go that long without kissing her. Get that out of the way before she loses interest.

 

[Rainbows]

Question: Do you two refer to each other as Girlfriend/Boyfriend? Just a question because for me I would first hold hands and stuff when considered "dating", but only call someone my boyfriend after we had ~ze talk~

 

[Raingirl]

She's going to lose interest if you don't have any initiative, you're basically treating like a friend, not a romantic interest, 3 months of this is way too long. I'm sure she would love to hold hands with you, just casually grab her hand as you walk together. If she doesn't like it, which I highly doubt, she will tell you. Oh, and kiss her.

 

[TheLonelyNomad]

I'd be more concerned about kissing her rather than holding hands. Some couples don't do the hand holding thing, it's no big deal. But it's unusual to go that long without kissing her. Get that out of the way before she loses interest.

The only time I kiss her is when I meet with her, and when we part ways.

But I don't do lip-to-lip kiss. I just kiss her on her cheeks.

However, funny thing is that she doesn't reciprocate the kiss to me.

Hand holding thing is something we have just started doing.

---

She's going to lose interest if you don't have any initiative, you're basically treating like a friend, not a romantic interest, 3 months of this is way too long. I'm sure she would love to hold hands with you, just casually grab her hand as you walk together. If she doesn't like it, which I highly doubt, she will tell you. Oh, and kiss her.

Yeah, I guess she is "friend-zoning" me.

I don't like it when us guys have to initiate the hand-holding and kissing.
Of course, this is due to my anxiety of having to initiate it, and whether she likes me holding her hands or not.

I do kiss her. But only when we meet up, pick her up from her work, and when we part ways for the night.

---

Question: Do you two refer to each other as Girlfriend/Boyfriend? Just a question because for me I would first hold hands and stuff when considered "dating", but only call someone my boyfriend after we had ~ze talk~

Rainbow, I am guessing "ze talk" is sex.

No way jose, am I going to have sex with this girl before marriage. I prefer to stay clean and chaste before I marry a girl.

Yes, I have had friends who have moved into their GF's apartment, had sex, covered or bareback.

But for me, I don't want to risk getting her pregnant, and if we break up down the road, I don't want to have a "bad record" of me having a child from a previous relationship.

HOWEVER, you do bring up a good question. Are we "officially" boyfriends or girlfriends? I guess so, because she told my mother's friend's sister that she really likes me. Hence, I am guessing we're "exclusive" together?

 

[bender22]

The only time I kiss her is when I meet with her, and when we part ways.

But I don't do lip-to-lip kiss. I just kiss her on her cheeks.

I (and probably Raingirl too) meant a proper lip to lip kiss. Until you do that, it sounds like it's just a platonic relationship.

If you like her, why haven't you given her a proper kiss? After 3 months?!

Also I don't think Rainbows was referring to sex when she said 'ze talk.'

 

[TheLonelyNomad]

I (and probably Raingirl too) meant a proper lip to lip kiss. Until you do that, it sounds like it's just a platonic relationship.

If you like her, why haven't you given her a proper kiss? After 3 months?!

Also I don't think Rainbows was referring to sex when she said 'ze talk.'

*Sigh*

Yeah, I guess this is just a platonic relationship. LOL. Thanks for teaching me a new dating terminology.

It seems to be platonic as we occasionally hold hands when meeting up, and she does not reciprocate the kiss back to me, even on my cheeks.

I usually just peck her a kiss to her cheek. That's it.

This relationship I am in seems more like a "friendship" relationship, rather than a romantic relationship, as I mainly meet up with her once a week, and we have dinner together, or go to a sporting event together.

None of this "let's go to the mall and hang out until midnight" stuff.

The obstacle is that I have to work odd 12-hour shifts at my job, and she works a typical Mon-Fri 8Am-5:30PM job.

Yet, there is not romantic kisses and even no sex involved in our relationship.

I will see how this relationship traverses throughout this year.

 

[VanillaCreme]

She's going to lose interest if you don't have any initiative, you're basically treating like a friend, not a romantic interest, 3 months of this is way too long. I'm sure she would love to hold hands with you, just casually grab her hand as you walk together. If she doesn't like it, which I highly doubt, she will tell you. Oh, and kiss her.

While I don't disagree with taking the initiative and going for what you want, this is their relationship. No one can really tell them what to do. We don't know how it could end up either way. She may be perfectly fine with how they're going. Going on his hearsay is all we have. We don't know what she wants.

 

[TheLonelyNomad]

While I don't disagree with taking the initiative and going for what you want, this is their relationship. No one can really tell them what to do. We don't know how it could end up either way. She may be perfectly fine with how they're going. Going on his hearsay is all we have. We don't know what she wants.

^^ True too, and thanks for your input, VanillaCreme.

I haven't been in a strong romantic relationship in a while, so I am taking this slowly.

My current girlfriend is also not the kind of person who likes huggy hugs and kisses. She just like "peck" kisses, not the smoochy type of kisses you see couples doing at the mall.

Oh well, we'll see what direction this goes.