day to day fight

[nope_real]

I have had difficulty making friends or going out or functioning in society since college. I was fine growing up then everything just changed. It took me six months to get a job because I can't talk properly in interviews. I got my job based on a working interview. It took a long time for me adapt to being there and to actually feel comfortable talking to people. People had to bring me out of myself. I think people sometimes think i'm rude, I don't mean to be, just find it difficult. I then had the arkward thing of having to tell my boss I was taking medication for depression. Since then I've lost most of my work hours and the home i'm living in will soon be sold. I know I need to start sorting things out soon or i'll be homeless and jobless. I just can't find the guts to even get of bed, let alone sort out anything else.

I've been told its part of life and I will just have to find a new job and move on. I don't think I can manage it again. I had to overcome alot of things to get the first job and manage. I have fought really hard and sorted out drinking problems and overcoming(partially) social phobias. I worry that I've gone past the point of a healthy outlook. I seem to find more comfort in letting things progress to a situation where i'm homeless than attempt to sort things out or find a new job.

I just feel sick thinking about it. It's soul crushing to even walk out in public. This has all created so much friction with my girlfriend. She says she can't cope with seeing her life going nowhere. I'm lucky to be with her and never take it for granted.

Everything is just too much. Even phoning job applications in the paper, to answering the door to someone, to seeing the people I see everyday anyway. I haven't seen work mates in a month or so, don't think I can face them to go back to my little shift. I think i'm just tired of trying. I've ignored everything for so long and now its just fallen into my lap.

I just hate competing for work. I can't say or do the right things. It's the only place i've left wanted or comfortable, not useless and standing out like a saw thumb.

 

[samba101]

Hey you don't need to tell your boss you have depression, that type of information you can keep to yourself.
Good work on managing to get a job it's not easy I know that's why I've gone back to study business administration which will give me a job at the end of it.

 

[strobefire]

I wouldn't get down about not finding work or doing bad in interviews. The economy is terrible right now and everyone is struggling. The best thing that you can do is practice and apply to as many jobs as you can. Even if you don't do well in a job interview, it can still help you in your next one. I'd continue to use all the resources available to help you get through - friends, family, Internet, phone hotlines, medication, whatever. I know it can be frustrating, but don't give up.

 

[SilentThinker]

It takes time to be comfortable with the workplace and the people there.So dun be too hard to yourself.

If you play any sports like badminton,you can invite your workmates to play with you a game or two.

 

[heretostay]

ah i know how you feel. there was a period of my life that i didnt leave my apartment for at least a month. i had no friends and wouldnt talk to my family. i never wanted to answer the door. it got pretty bad. the pressures mount until my mind is just swarming with everything and id rather just sleep.

believe me one thing i have learned, is you have to keep trying. it can get much much worse.

i read a good book called "Feeling Good" by David Burns. I felt like he really understood how difficult it was for me to just function. it helped with the stress of every day tasks.

 

[bear]

I get what you mean nope_real.

My advice would me to find some sort of common ground with people you get nervous with. I get nervous around a lot of people - especially new people, but when I talk about something that I love, and that they have an interest in as well, all of a sudden, I feel confident to say what I really feel.

That might not help you in job interviews, but it may give you the confidence to stop freezing in them...

 

[eh?]

I use to be scare to be around people, to go on interviews, to call for interview(still not good with this).
But for the face to face interviews, I am pretty good now.
I learned to fake it till I make it.
If they don't hire me, its fine. Too many variables for me to place the blame directly on me.

I once read something in a SciFi book that stuck with me. Something like "I have to get over this some day, why not now?". That has helped me a lot. No point in avoiding what is probably going to pass. Just get it over with.

And lastly, I read from some Buddhist guy something like "Why worry about a future that has not occurred and may not occur?" Something to that affect. That helps me as well.

I know I rambled this whole message but I will condense it.
*Fake it till you make it.
*You will have to get over this sometime, why not now?
*Why worry about a future that has not occurred and may not occur?

In the end, you will be forced to take action at some point. You should do what you need to do before life forces your hand. Because when life forces you hand, you have little control over where it puts you.