Death anyone?

[cumulus.james]

Sorry about this thread everyone.

One gets carried away with one's emotions when one is Bipolar.

 

[Erevetot]

Sorry about this thread everyone.

One gets carried away with one's emotions when one is Bipolar.

im pretty sure many people will agree that it's fine. You need to vent off, to get it out of you, it's a brave thing to do.

How are you feeling today?

 

[cumulus.james]

Think I am geting a bit hypo-manic. I do everything teh wrong way round, I'm led to belive it's usually mania then depression.

How are you and everyone else who happens upon this post feeling?

 

[Erevetot]

I really think you should get creative! Paint, write, craft, I really believe it'll help! I dont know you, but from your posts I get a feeling that if you created something with all your emotions, it'd be great and awesome!!

and thanks for asking personally im not doing so good, but Im focusing on other stuff, like cooking and reading these forums!
By the way, cooking weird recipes found online can be really fun even if you suck at it (like me lol), really recommend it as a distraction/hobby!

 

[cumulus.james]

If I created something with my emotions it would be the most horrific thing you ever did see lol

Why are you not doing so good?

I am a half a decent cook as it goes. But I don't bother much now I live on my own.

 

[Erevetot]

trust me, you may be surprised! sometimes it feels you're creating a monster but it ends up beatifull. I cant paint, at all, but sometimes i just let myself do whatever i feel like and while the result looks like honeysuckle to most, to me its 10/10 art

and im not doing fine, cause while i manage to suppress my depression and suicidal feelings and "be fine" the last days , my ex which i still love but try to ignore so i can move on, is trying her best to make me hurt.

but im trying to not think about it and focus on other stuff, like trying to write a song

 

[cumulus.james]

trust me, you may be surprised! sometimes it feels you're creating a monster but it ends up beatifull. I cant paint, at all, but sometimes i just let myself do whatever i feel like and while the result looks like honeysuckle to most, to me its 10/10 art

and im not doing fine, cause while i manage to suppress my depression and suicidal feelings and "be fine" the last days , my ex which i still love but try to ignore so i can move on, is trying her best to make me hurt.

but im trying to not think about it and focus on other stuff, like trying to write a song

I can't paint either, and i don't really have the patients for it. I used to try and write songs when I was a youth. But as I saw the collapse of the music industry I wondered what the point was. Took up DJ'ing at one point but didn't get very far. Now the club scene is dying.

I guess it can be hard to let people go sometimes. I don't know that you can suppress such feelings as depression and that, you have to deal with them I guess.

 

[SophiaGrace]

One gets carried away with one's emotions when one is Bipolar.

That doesn't mean Bipolar makes you lose all sense of being able to make choices other than harming yourself, even if those choices are difficult to make.

 

[Erevetot]

i just fill my mind, hands and day with other stuff. Im not really busy, but i force myself to be, from taking longer to brush my teeth or shower, to chatting online. easy to say but hard to do, i know

 

[cumulus.james]

One gets carried away with one's emotions when one is Bipolar.

That doesn't mean Bipolar makes you lose all sense of being able to make choices other than harming yourself, even if those choices are difficult to make.

I think I have never really fought my mental illness. Just let it be instead, like I deserved it. Need to choose to fight it I guess.

---

i just fill my mind, hands and day with other stuff. Im not really busy, but i force myself to be, from taking longer to brush my teeth or shower, to chatting online. easy to say but hard to do, i know

Thats good, keep trying to do positive stuff.

 

[stb]

The best man I've known that I want related to killed himself. Was the only selfish thing I ever remember him doing. Been many years and I can't say I'll ever really forgive him.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Nothing left of me really. Just a freak who stalks the internet looking for answers that arn't there.

You're not a freak. Everyone has moments in their lives that break them and everyone has moments in their lives where they're not proud of some things they've done. But it's not about regretting doing these things, it's about taking those moments and trying to learn from them, and take what positive you can out of such a negative experience - if that even make sense.

I think I have never really fought my mental illness. Just let it be instead, like I deserved it. Need to choose to fight it I guess.

Sometimes it's not about fighting it. It might just make things worse and escalate the issue. Sometimes it's about giving yourself a break, breathe, and try to understand your own issues before you can try to work on them. You can't even fight well if you don't know what you're fighting against or what you need to win the fight. But I think that sometimes, it's a lot easier to understand and embrace your issues and then learn to work around them and see how you can adapt and make small changes first to lead to bigger changes for improvement.

 

[cumulus.james]

The best man I've known that I want related to killed himself. Was the only selfish thing I ever remember him doing. Been many years and I can't say I'll ever really forgive him.

I don't know that it is selfish. When you are truly in that state it's like this fog or something, and zoning out and detaching from reality. I think wwhen you get to the point of actually doing it (I have obviously not gone that far) you genuinely believe the world will be a better place without you. I know when I have been in that state you can't think of anyting or anyone else. Not becaue you don't want to, because you can't.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Was the only selfish thing I ever remember him doing. Been many years and I can't say I'll ever really forgive him.

Really? and you aren't selfish for wanting him to continue in pain? He probably suffered in silence if it's the only selfish thing you can think of that he did.

 

[Lacrecia]

Was the only selfish thing I ever remember him doing. Been many years and I can't say I'll ever really forgive him.

Really? and you aren't selfish for wanting him to continue in pain?

That's kind of harsh.
Those who stay behind are the one who suffer their loss. I don't blame him for thinking that suicide is selfish.

Things might have changed for that person if they stayed alive. It's not my place to question anyone's decisions, but IMO giving up is the wrong way out.

 

[ABrokenMan]

I believe that any single unattached person has the right to end their life. They don't "owe" living their life to any other person.
It is not selfish act in certain cases.
Calling someone selfish is usually an example of projection by the person who thinks that way.

There was a lonely, messed up, perpetually single guy who was struggling with severe depression for decades who decided he'd had enough. First thing I heard afterward - people lamenting that he wouldn't be around anymore, and how selfish he was for doing so. The guy had done a lot of herculean work in an area of mutual interest over many years. Now that he is gone, the vault of information he uncovered and shared would be closed. These laments come from the same folks who could give 2 sh**s about him on a personal basis when he was alive.

However, I knew (not well but had somewhat regular contact) someone who had a wife and a young child.
He took his own life earlier this past year. I knew he was dealing with a ton of issues from his family, caring for a sick parent, etc.
no matter how bad things are, when you bring a child into the world, the child is your responsibility and must be your primary focus above all else. Taking his life shows no concern for his kid, which I believe is the ultimate example of selfishness

 

[SophiaGrace]

Was the only selfish thing I ever remember him doing. Been many years and I can't say I'll ever really forgive him.

Really? and you aren't selfish for wanting him to continue in pain?

That's kind of harsh.

He probably suffered in pain, in silence, for a long time, giving himself to others and for others. Until he couldn't deal with his pain anymore and killed himself.

If STB thinks his friend is selfish, then he needs to look at himself and see how selfish he is being.

At least his friend isn't suffering anymore.

I'm so sick of people saying that people who kill themselves are selfish, when really they just want the person suffering to be alive and suffer some more because they can't let go.

Sometimes there isn't a way out, not if you've tried and tried and tried for years with many medications and treatment plans ...

Not if you've tried life for years and years, giving it chance after chance after chance...

I don't judge people who kill themselves. I can't know their inner suffering, what they've been through. I can only hope that they've found some peace.

That being said, I'll always encourage the person to try life...

 

[ladyforsaken]

Was the only selfish thing I ever remember him doing. Been many years and I can't say I'll ever really forgive him.

Really? and you aren't selfish for wanting him to continue in pain?

That's kind of harsh.
Those who stay behind are the one who suffer their loss. I don't blame him for thinking that suicide is selfish.

Things might have changed for that person if they stayed alive. It's not my place to question anyone's decisions, but IMO giving up is the wrong way out.

That's only one way to view it. I've been suicidal before, when you're in that mindset, it's not about whether you're being selfish or not - it's about your self worth and how much things have affected you to a point where it feels like there is no getting better and thinking either that it would be much better for everyone OR that suicide will stop all the pain and torment and voices in the head.

I think that we should try to be understanding of both sides of the story. Of the suicidal person, as well as of their loved ones or people around them who'd be affected if they were to do that.

It's not entirely just about being selfish of the suicidal person. And hounding them for being suicidal and telling them they shouldn't be cos that's a selfish thing to do, isn't going to help. It might only make them feel a lot more pressured or frustrated.

That said, I don't encourage suicide, I don't believe in suicide, not anymore but I deeply understand people who feel suicidal and want to do it and feel helpless with whatever they might have tried to do to get out of that state. Sometimes, they really have no support, who's to blame? I do believe they can get through that phase and get better, but they can't do it alone. They'd need others to hear them out and understand them. It's just not as simple as we think sometimes.

 

[ABrokenMan]

^^^
Right on, Soph!

I do not judge people. Even when it might be somewhat detrimental to my own well being.
I learned that most everyone else operates on a snap judgment principle - tell them something personal,
and you can almost bank on getting a judgmental response.

The very few people i have opened up to regarding my personal issues and even my own suicide attempt have painted me black or view me as someone unworthy - when I was considered an important, valid friend beforehand.
In recent times, the only person who never judged me is the one person who ended up hurting me.
So I'll keep my yapper shut, wall myself off from people, and decide if it is time to repeat what i failed at doing many years ago.

 

[Lacrecia]

That's only one way to view it.

You either didn't really read my post, or you're reading too much into it. Let me explain to you.

"Those who stay behind are the one who suffer their loss."
Here I am talking about people who stay alive and whose loss makes them feel like it's legitimate to feel abandoned and think suicide is selfish. I was NOT talking about the suicidal person but people exposed to it as a result.

"I don't blame him for thinking that suicide is selfish. "
"I don't blame him" does not mean that I agree with him. It means that it's understandable for a person to hate that someone chose to die than to stick to them. I am not talking about the reasons why someone commits suicide.

"Things might have changed for that person if they stayed alive"
Life has ups and downs and all that honeysuckle.

"It's not my place to question anyone's decisions" someone who commits suicide has their reasons, BUT" IMO giving up is the wrong way out."


Cheers =)