zombieslayer
Well-known member
I'm constantly depressed and I don't know why. I'm sorry to bring it up here, but I don't really have anyone to talk to. My mom has a severe anxiety disorder and when I talk to her about my depression, it seems to drag her down further and I don't want that to happen. Don't get me wrong, I love her and she tries her best. I constantly listen to her anxieties and try to help her a lot. I feel like I have to be the strong one a lot of the time. Whenever I'm weak (and I don't even bother her; I'm just in my room), she comes in my room and gets upset like, "You're taking all the energy out of me! Why can't you be happy?! You'll never accomplish anything with that attitude." And it makes me even more upset. This has been going on since I was little. My dad is a good person too, but he's very little help. I feel uncomfortable talking about personal problems with him. I don't know. Last week, I was really depressed and I said to my mom, "I'm sorry. I'm kind of moody right now and you won't want to talk to me because it will upset you. I'm not rational right now." And then about an hour later, she became very upset with me, saying I was causing her to have a nervous tick.
I feel like I can't say anything about how I feel. I'm scared because I've fantasized about suicide since I was very small. The thoughts never seem to go away. I've never attempted it, but the thoughts are there. Although, I tried to OD on a bottle of ibuprofen, but got scared after seven.
I feel like a spoiled kid talking about all of this. I'm an awful person. I have a good life, a good family. But all I have to do is feel depressed and suicidal. I should be trying to help my mom cope with her anxiety, but I am very selfish.
Sorry for ranting.
I feel like I can't say anything about how I feel. I'm scared because I've fantasized about suicide since I was very small. The thoughts never seem to go away. I've never attempted it, but the thoughts are there. Although, I tried to OD on a bottle of ibuprofen, but got scared after seven.
I feel like a spoiled kid talking about all of this. I'm an awful person. I have a good life, a good family. But all I have to do is feel depressed and suicidal. I should be trying to help my mom cope with her anxiety, but I am very selfish.
Sorry for ranting.