Did I make the right choice?

[Rahvin]

I suffer from Depression, and Derealization, and so sometimes my feelings can deceive me...and I'll get a feeling of uncaring, or a lack of feeling altogether, and sadly, this includes love. But it always goes away after some time.

A few days ago, my dog died as I held her on a veterinarians table. I haven't fully recovered and I won't for a long time. But this isn't about that, that is only a piece of information that might be relevant.

Last night, I left my girlfriend. She was perfect to me, and perfect for me in every way, but I left her. Over the past month or so, my feelings for her have become faded, and I haven't really felt "love" for her. I tried to keep going, hoping that it was just an effect of some of the previously mentioned things, but last night I decided that to keep the relationship going when I was unsure of what i wanted, when my feelings had faded was wrong for both her and myself.

Today I find myself...sad and empty, wondering if I gave up too easily, If i didn't try hard enough, if I could've fixed things. I wonder if I made a horrible mistake by leaving the perfect girl over a feeling that could possibly just be because of my issues.

I don't know what to do..I miss her so terribly, and a big part of me believes that if we tried we could rekindle things to be better than they were before, to fix things and become even stronger...but the other part of me knows that if this isn't just a fleeting feeling of emptiness, if i really don't love her anymore, that trying again would only cause more pain, and would end in failure, and as such, i made the right choice.

I wish I could trust my feelings, I wish I knew what I really wanted. Right now I just want to talk to her again, I miss her. Did I fresia up?

 

[SofiasMami]

It's normal to feel sad and alone after splitting up with someone and even wonder if you should get back together, even when you're the one who left the relationship. And you have a double whammy because you watched your dog die at the vet a few days ago.
What did your girlfriend say when you broke up with her? I guess only you know whether you should talk to her again but try not to beat yourself up over your decision. In a situation like that, few of us know the exactly correct decision to make.

-Teresa

 

[dd11]

That's a difficult question. Only you know what is right for you.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dog.
I know how much she meant to you. May you find strength in this period of mourning.

As for your relationship issue, I guess I am only questioning, do you miss her or do you miss the idea of having someone around and the company? Sometimes when you think you're in love, you might just be in love with the idea and the excitement of someone being there giving you the attention instead of being in love with that person. I think you're the best person to know this, and even if you don't, it's not wrong to take time to figure things out. Rushing into things won't help any.

In any case, I hope that both you and her will be able to figure things out and make peace in the best way possible. Take care and best of luck.

 

[Despicable Me]

She was perfect to me, and perfect for me in every way

If this is really true then you obviously screwed up and made the wrong choice. But no one here can tell you if you're lying to yourself and everyone here. Only you can determine that because only you know the real truth.

Though I will say from my experience that there is no such thing as true perfection. It is merely what we tell ourselves when the truth is too difficult to face.