Do you believe in friendships between men and women?

[VanillaCreme]

Seems I'm going to have a pretty controversial view, I thought more people would share my view... But I suppose not.

I think for the most part "Friendship" doesn't exist between Men and Women, not true platonic friendship at least. There are exceptions to this of course, Childhood friends, that one person that you've formed a bond with for whatever reason or what's probably the most common in my experience; friendship necessary because of business. But I think that in most circumstances, there are some feelings from either party that keeps them in the friendship, makes them want to build a friendship.
It may be Platonic from one end, but not from the other and I've been on both sides. I've been friends with girls because I liked them, they've been friends with me because they liked me.

I think it's pretty rare that true, platonic relationships with no strings attached actually exists. There's always SOMETHING.

Friendship between Males and Females are very rare I believe, because we're not designed to be that way from a primal level. We're supposed to breed with one another, not befriend one another... Otherwise, how could we continue our species?

It may be rare, but it happens. It does exist. While it's natural to have that connection, I don't think it's natural for most of us to jump to procreate with every person of the opposite sex we see. None of my guy friends want me, or have ever wanted me.

 

[user 115627]

I said that because, from what I've seen, it was usually females acting cute and trying to get into a group. There are lines you probably shouldn't cross, male or female. For what it's worth, Rodent, I think you're breaking down what I said too much.

Well, it's rather that I broke it down the wrong way, because I actually agree partially with what you are saying now. The thing about females acting cute and trying to get into a group - that is a legitimate thing more common for women. But I wouldn't say they are unwelcome to behave in this way. It is often easier for women because they are more agreeable but also perceived as harmless. It does depend on the group they are trying to join though, whether it's mixed, male-only or female-only.

"Crossing lines" is almost always something associated with men, for the simple reason that no-one  would consider a woman's behaviour threatening regardless of whatever else it might be.

What about this girl?
[INSERT VIDEO HERE]

She's a goddam meme called overly attached girlfriend. In other words, the meme is about already being in a relationship and while that doesn't outrule crossing lines, we are talking about different lines here. Friendship, right? Or even pre-friendship, approaching strangers. But even if we detach it from a specific relationship status there are enough people who look beyond that behavior or even describe it as cute in an insane way instead of threatening. Not something I approve of, but there ya go...

 

[VanillaCreme]

I said that because, from what I've seen, it was usually females acting cute and trying to get into a group. There are lines you probably shouldn't cross, male or female. For what it's worth, Rodent, I think you're breaking down what I said too much.

Well, it's rather that I broke it down the wrong way, because I actually agree partially with what you are saying now. The thing about females acting cute and trying to get into a group - that is a legitimate thing more common for women. But I wouldn't say they are unwelcome to behave in this way. It is often easier for women because they are more agreeable but also perceived as harmless. It does depend on the group they are trying to join though, whether it's mixed, male-only or female-only.

Oh no, they're more than welcome to behave however and in whatever way they like. But I've seen a lot of the ones who are basically chasing after attention be ignored and brushed off. Especially in gaming, we just want to play for the most part. It's almost made a point to not bring drama. I think my posts here are more for the attention-seekers. I naturally just fell into playing with the people I game with. I wasn't in their faces about it.

 

[Ignis]

It may be rare, but it happens. It does exist. While it's natural to have that connection, I don't think it's natural for most of us to jump to procreate with every person of the opposite sex we see. None of my guy friends want me, or have ever wanted me.

Of course it does, I didn't say it doesn't, I said they are exceptions to the rule, rather than the rule itself. Just because there are a small number of cases doesn't change that I don't believe Males and Females can have purely platonic relationships.
And while we don't necessarily want to procreate with every person of the opposite sex we see, in those circumstances we simply don't form bonds with them in the first place... Just like I don't try and be friends with every hot girl I see on the street.

Also, respectfully, I have a pretty hard time believing that NONE of your guy friends have ever wanted anything romantic or physical with you, ever. Unless you have asked every single one of them if they've ever wanted something physical or romantic with you and they've all said no (Even then, I doubt all of them were sincere. I've said no when a girl who I really liked asked me if I've ever had romantic thoughts about her... It depends on the situation)... This is just experience from a guy whose been the lover trapped as the best friend his whole life, and never the boyfriend.
I've said no way more than I should because I didn't wanna make things awkward, I figured I'd rather have her as a friend even though I loved her than not have her in my life at all, she had a boyfriend, I had a girlfriend, there are a myriad of reasons why I've never confessed.

 

[user 115627]

I said that because, from what I've seen, it was usually females acting cute and trying to get into a group. There are lines you probably shouldn't cross, male or female. For what it's worth, Rodent, I think you're breaking down what I said too much.

Well, it's rather that I broke it down the wrong way, because I actually agree partially with what you are saying now. The thing about females acting cute and trying to get into a group - that is a legitimate thing more common for women. But I wouldn't say they are unwelcome to behave in this way. It is often easier for women because they are more agreeable but also perceived as harmless. It does depend on the group they are trying to join though, whether it's mixed, male-only or female-only.

Oh no, they're more than welcome to behave however and in whatever way they like. But I've seen a lot of the ones who are basically chasing after attention be ignored and brushed off. Especially in gaming, we just want to play for the most part. It's almost made a point to not bring drama. I think my posts here are more for the attention-seekers. I naturally just fell into playing with the people I game with. I wasn't in their faces about it.

If they are just chasing after attention I think they deserve to be brushed off. It doesn't sound like they genuinely interested in the group activity (like gaming), but just in social capital through a sense of belonging or even shifting the focus on them within that group. If you just want to play and participate, you should have no problem joining up with people without drama.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

[youtube]Y3ujR8SjU9k[/youtube]

 

[Osiris]

Depends on the person I guess, for me....no. If I'm sat around a woman who I get along with for any amount of time my brain'll start to wonder... I'm a man can you blame me? I think all women are beautiful as well so that doesn't help me either.. Some can, but I just can't! if I'm looking into a girls eyes for long enough, I can't help it!

 

[reynard_muldrake]

There was a period of time when I only had female friends. Members of the opposite sex just seemed easier to talk to, I suppose. I'm a gay male, so the possibility of those friendships moving beyond the platonic level never crossed my mind. Even if men are straight, I do think they can share regular friendships with women. It's foolish to assume one or both will develop romantic feelings.

 

[Amelia]

I have male friends who I have no attraction towards and likewise, they enjoy my company solely as a friend as well (we date other people, wingman for each other).

Over the years, I had developed romantic feelings for two male friends and so did they but we were aware that due to our differences in values that it would never work out. So, we remained good friends and helped one another find partners. Both of them are

married now and we are still good friends.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I have male friends.

 

[smarty24]

In short terms: no.

 

[SolitudeAeturnus]

Sure, why not.

 

[pinocio]

Yeah ,it can be possible and i believe the friendship between men and women can be great.

 

[ardour]

Theree are certain things you wouldn't want to talk about. For example complaining about being alone, dating. etc., is generally not something I would talk about with female friend. They're are not attracted to you, so hearing about such things would probably produce feelings of disgust or at least make them uncomfortable.

It's fine for everyday conversation, or topics of interest though, thus friendships with women seem to be more of the casual/polite sort.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Theree are certain things you wouldn't want to talk about. For example complaining about being alone,  dating. etc., is generally not something I would talk about with female friend. They're are not attracted to you, so hearing about such things would probably produce feelings of disgust or at least make them uncomfortable.

It's fine for everyday conversation, or topics of interest though, thus friendships with women seem to  be more of the casual/polite sort.

I dunno about that. I have male friends who talk to me about things like that. They enjoy getting the female perspective on the issues. Insider info, so to speak. I've never been disgusted or uncomfortable. 
If the guy friend were to have a crush on me and I knew it, THEN I might feel uncomfortable. 
Fortunately, I've never found myself in that position.

 

[DarkSelene]

They're are not attracted to you, so hearing about such things would probably produce feelings of disgust or at least make them uncomfortable.

Is the assumption here that you can only discuss singlehood with other bachelors or eligible mates? I don't get it. A friend is a friend, if it hurts or bothers you, you talk about it, and hopefully they care.

 

[TheRealCallie]

They're are not attracted to you, so hearing about such things would probably produce feelings of disgust or at least make them uncomfortable.

Is the assumption here that you can only discuss singlehood with other bachelors or eligible mates? I don't get it. A friend is a friend, if it hurts or bothers you, you talk about it, and hopefully they care.

This, exactly. 

My friends, female OR male can talk to me about ANYTHING.  I don't care what it is.  I may not always know about the topic, but I can at least listen.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Theree are certain things you wouldn't want to talk about. For example complaining about being alone,  dating. etc., is generally not something I would talk about with female friend. They're are not attracted to you, so hearing about such things would probably produce feelings of disgust or at least make them uncomfortable.

It's fine for everyday conversation, or topics of interest though, thus friendships with women seem to  be more of the casual/polite sort.

I dunno about that. I have male friends who talk to me about things like that. They enjoy getting the female perspective on the issues. Insider info, so to speak. I've never been disgusted or uncomfortable. 
If the guy friend were to have a crush on me and I knew it, THEN I might feel uncomfortable. 
Fortunately, I've never found myself in that position.

Yeah, my guy friends say anything. We really don't care to talk about anything. They talk about the ladies in their lives, or whatever girlfriends they've had or potential ones. I ask questions and all just like the rest of them do. One thing that's never really happened was them asking me for my female perspective. I have given it, but just as part as the conversation. So I can safely say they probably don't see me as a girl. To them, I'm just Nilla.

 

[user 139760]

For having lived it and done it myself for a long time, I say entirely.
However, for a lot of people, it will never be possible. I believe it greatly depends on personnality.

 

[hppnssseeker]

Definitely possible. Met one of the most handsome men I've seen in my life while online dating and we had zero sexual attraction for one another but we clicked in terms of conversation. We decided to stay friends and it's been great. Since we're both single and looking we can compare notes.