HappyYogi said:
Can I just say as a woman...that a woman taking the lead is a mistake for the woman? If she does, she may flatter the man's ego but she will never be chased and never be as adored as the woman he had to chase.
I wish this was not true but it is! At least for masculine men.
I am for flirting and letting the man know you are available and interested so he can take the next step...but talk to him first. Nope. Doesn't work. It even turns off even the most liberal of men and they don't even know why themselves.
I disagree with that. I've had my low days, and been single a while. I have anxiety, so approaching a girl causes me a lot of approach anxiety. I have however been at the bus station waiting for a bus, and been so low it is untrue. Seen a girl, and checked her out, to the point she'd have noticed, and wished she'd just come talk to me, harmlessly, but no, never happens does it. A girl showing me she liked me would have had such a massive impact on my confidence and mood it would have probably changed my life. Oh and btw, I wasn't displaying any signs of being depressed, I know I can't say that for sure as I'm unable to see myself through somebody elses eyes, but fairly certain. I was being calm and collected. So it wasn't anything I said that made her not approach, it's just the way it is, and for men like me, it sucks bigtime.
What it is, is that sometimes, and it works both ways is, if the woman was attractive, then the man she approached would feel great and wow, I must be an attractive guy then, which is great, but if the girl wasn't so attractive, then the guy would probably not want her to approach him. Sad really, but that's just how it would be in most cases I reckon, cause men go for looks, and women for personality. If she wasn't greatly attractive though, it could also depend on the way she acted as well. If she was genuinely a nice sweet girl, then yeah, great, have a chat, it'd still make you feel good and warm your day, but sadly this is never gonna happen anyway is it. Mainly because it comes down to 2 things. 1) Women being the weaker sex, and therefore are more wary, and have to see what a man is like first. i.e - if she doesn't let him make the first move and see how he acts and comes across first, then she could be chatting to a guy who might be a bit of nutjob, but is good at hiding it, or she might not be able to tell cause she's doing most of the talking. 2) Women who approach men first, as mentioned in this thread earlier, would be seen as easy, and some men would call her a slag or whatever. I wouldn't myself, but it's just what it's like isn't it, which isn't fair. Men who sleep with lots of women are seen as a stud, and women who sleep with lots of men are seen as a slut. So other men labeling girls this way has stopped men like me being approached by women and thus living a lonely life, excuse the pun.
Going back to the original thread topic though, I've had plenty of women I wish would've just said, "Hi! how are you, you alright/ok?" when I've been depressed as hell, and to be honest, it's really all I would've wanted. On those occasions though, I've wished I could've made the first move, but think it's due to being anxious and depressed that I didn't. Also, cause of the fact that on the majority of occasions I do pluck the courage to approach a girl I don't know, it generally doesn't go greatly. I must be so anxious when I do so it just makes me come across a bit strange and not flow good.
To sum up:- Women ain't never gonna approach men anytime soon so basically, we're gonna have to deal with this and get over it, sadly.
It must be noticeable though by women who may not be as attractive as others, they must see the way men ogle/stare at women who are very attractive, and that must make them feel unattractive if they're single. Also not getting approached as much as the hotter women, and it must make them dislike them a bit.