Does anyone believe in this crap?

[lonelydoc]

And guess what? I'm doing fine. I have a good life and a amazing girlfriend.

If that is true, Locke, what are you doing on alonelylife.com?

 

[TheRealCallie]

And guess what? I'm doing fine. I have a good life and a amazing girlfriend.

If that is true, Locke, what are you doing on alonelylife.com?

I think the best answer to that question is....because he wants to be.

Having a good life and a girlfriend doesn't mean a person isn't lonely. Or maybe he's not lonely at all and just wants to help people. Or maybe he was lonely when he came, but isn't anymore and feels like he can help others.

 

[VanillaCreme]

And guess what? I'm doing fine. I have a good life and a amazing girlfriend.

If that is true, Locke, what are you doing on alonelylife.com?

I'm not lonely, yet on here. You don't know the reasons why people are here, so don't assume you do. Some are here to offer their advice, and to talk to those who need it. Some are here to gain some insight on issues and problems. Even if one were lonely before and is no longer, that doesn't mean they have to stop coming here.

 

[Locke]

And guess what? I'm doing fine. I have a good life and a amazing girlfriend.

If that is true, Locke, what are you doing on alonelylife.com?

There are several reasons, none of which have anything to do with me being lonely (I'm not lonely). I doubt you actually care about any of them, but since you asked...

Because I enjoy posting on forums when I can, and there are people I care about on this one.

Because ALL helped me when I was lonely, and I grew attached to it. If I can give something back, I will.

Because I enjoy telling misogynist ******** that they're ********. Since there are always at least a couple of them spreading their asshattery here, it's as good a place as any to tell them off.

Because there are good people here. Some of them are as impatient as I am, and some of them are kind and understanding. I know I'm far from perfect, and I know that learning from other people and making an effort to understand their viewpoint will help me grow as a person (as long as their viewpoint isn't sexist, racist or homophobic).

I guess I just took far too much time explaining a few things to a guy who doesn't actually care. But since I'm already posting, I'll go ahead and tell you something else:

I actually did date a girl with some of the characteristics that you described earlier. She was rich, semi-famous (former model), and was the fashion industry's ideal of beautiful. I was wearing a t-shirt and jeans when we met, and her outfit was worth more than my car is. We dated because we liked each other, it had nothing to do with a pecking order. I broke it off with her because I didn't love her, and recognized that I never would.

See, that's the thing you left out of your list in your earlier post: Love. Respect. Mutual understanding. Trust. Those are the best qualities. They are what make relationships work and thrive, and they are almost always ignored by guys who start their ideal woman list by saying things like "beautiful", "exciting" etc.

If you want to believe that the world is so shallow that it revolves around physical appearance and money, you can. But maybe you should ask yourself why you're here.

 

[Triple Bogey]

And guess what? I'm doing fine. I have a good life and a amazing girlfriend.

If that is true, Locke, what are you doing on alonelylife.com?

I'm not lonely, yet on here. You don't know the reasons why people are here, so don't assume you do. Some are here to offer their advice, and to talk to those who need it. Some are here to gain some insight on issues and problems. Even if one were lonely before and is no longer, that doesn't mean they have to stop coming here.

I'm not lonely either but I am still here as well.

 

[lonelydoc]

I'm here because I'm lonely. I'm also a beta male. And it doesn't matter to me because I have a value that seems to be dying in the larger world, and in this forum as well: honesty.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'm here because I'm lonely. I'm also a beta male. And it doesn't matter to me because I have a value that seems to be dying in the larger world, and in this forum as well: honesty.

How do you mean by that value of honesty dying in this forum? As far as I know.. people here are pretty up front and honest about stuff.

 

[Locke]

I'm here because I'm lonely. I'm also a beta male. And it doesn't matter to me because I have a value that seems to be dying in the larger world, and in this forum as well: honesty.

If you think of yourself as a "beta male", then that's what you'll be. You define who you are, whether you want to admit it or not. Allowing anyone else to define you, whether it be a list on the internet or any person besides you, is a mistake. You are damaging your self-esteem by calling yourself "beta". The emotional damage that this is causing you will be worse than any outside source of emotional turmoil. If you call yourself a loser, or "beta" or whatever else, that's how other people will see you.

If the comment about your honesty not being welcome here is in relation to your earlier post about how all Americans are liars, that is not honesty. It's a broad generalization and an insult to every American on this forum. How do you think it makes us feel? Should we assume that everyone from your country is so rude and judgmental?

You can't control what other people do or say. All you can do is go into any situation hoping for the best, and preparing for the worst. Everyone is different, no matter what culture or country they are from. If you let this dislike you feel develop into hate, you may miss out on making some good friends one day. If you let hate eat away at your soul, you'll more than likely spend the rest of your life alone. Giving people the benefit of the doubt and not being judgmental is the only way you won't end up alone.

I feel sorry for you because you have low self-esteem, and I'm sorry for you that you're letting past experiences turn you so angry and bitter. Taking it all out on yourself or an entire nation will not help you. Building up your confidence and self-esteem will help you. Having an open heart and mind, and replacing hate with understanding will help you.

But this is all up to you. Do you want to be an angry "beta", or a well-rounded human being?

 

[ardour]

^Yea.. what he says.. keep telling yourself that you're a boring ineffectual sort of person and you will live down to that expectation. Taking notice of this stuff doesn't help, even if there's truth in it. If a percentage of women's preferences align with the top two categories then they aren't worth knowing. Really, do you want someone who's drawn exclusively to 'alpha' males? I know I don't.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'm here because I'm lonely. I'm also a beta male. And it doesn't matter to me because I have a value that seems to be dying in the larger world, and in this forum as well: honesty.

Well, would you rather everyone take the trouble to lie to you? Because honestly, that's what it seems like you may be aiming for. Perhaps to justify your reasons in thinking the way you do... If you believe it, and people tell you the same as well, then it must be so. Instead of thinking for yourself, you lean on the ladders of society. Hold the evaluation of yourself higher than that of the public eye. The majority vote isn't always the correct vote.

 

[TheSkaFish]

If you think of yourself as a "beta male", then that's what you'll be. You define who you are, whether you want to admit it or not. Allowing anyone else to define you, whether it be a list on the internet or any person besides you, is a mistake. You are damaging your self-esteem by calling yourself "beta". The emotional damage that this is causing you will be worse than any outside source of emotional turmoil. If you call yourself a loser, or "beta" or whatever else, that's how other people will see you.

I agree with these statements, having experienced them firsthand. I grew up thinking I was a "beta", or even an "omega", either way, not an "alpha", not one of the elite, the chosen few, the Inner Party. And my life reflected that. That's how I was treated, and I was angry but I thought that it's just because that's what it was, like a wolf is born a wolf and a mouse is born a mouse and that there was nothing I could do about it except be thankful I wasn't born with some mental or physical deficiency.

I can see how that was and still is a problem, as I'm still experiencing some of the fallout from it. Particularly as it relates with women. I suspect this is at least a part of the reason I always fail with women I want, but am able to attract women I don't, because when I don't care about the outcome with them, I'm not faking it - I really don't care and have no social filter around them. But I don't know what to do. I don't call myself a "beta" anymore, I want to be an "alpha", I want to get what I want, I'm hungry for a big win. But life, and people, still treat me like a "beta". It actually angers me more now than it did before, because I no longer agree that I am a "beta". When that happens, I get ferociously angry. Which I've noticed, only acts like quicksand, further dragging me down into the "beta" ranks.

But I don't know what else to do. When someone slaps or spits on you, it makes no sense to me how turning the other cheek and just taking it makes you an "alpha". That seems like accepting being a "beta" as well. So I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. If I accept someone treating me like a "beta", I'm a "beta". If I react with anger, it only results in them treating me like a "beta" even more.

How can I really believe I'm great, when people still treat me like a "beta"? I don't want to be one. I don't even think of myself as one. Yet I still get regarded like one anyway.

 

[Rosebolt]

How can I really believe I'm great, when people still treat me like a "beta"? I don't want to be one. I don't even think of myself as one. Yet I still get regarded like one anyway.

Only you need to believe. If you truly believe, the rest will come.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Only you need to believe. If you truly believe, the rest will come.

Well, I guess that's the trick, isn't it....guess I'll just have to practice, practice, practice.

 

[Locke]

How can I really believe I'm great, when people still treat me like a "beta"? I don't want to be one. I don't even think of myself as one. Yet I still get regarded like one anyway.

Only you need to believe. If you truly believe, the rest will come.

Yeah, what Rosebolt said. Believe in yourself.

And I hope you (and every other follower of the alpha/beta philosophy here) consider dropping this alpha/beta thing completely. It has done nothing but cause you pain, you just admitted as much. Why think that way when it only hurts you? Wanting to be an "alpha" makes no sense: You are still aspiring to be someone else's ideal, and you will never accomplish that. People will always want more from you, always, and the constant thought that you are not good enough will destroy you.

To put it in simple terms: Who gives a **** what other people think! True confidence can only come from within you. There is no standard except that which you set for yourself.

If anyone wants to think that I'm full of crap, that's fine. But a little over a year ago I couldn't leave my house because I was so afraid of people and what they thought of me. I was agoraphobic for 3 years. I even wrote a thread asking if I should change my personality, lol. People here told me what I'm telling you, and I listened. I'm free now. I don't care what others think of me. I still fight anxiety at times, but I'm free and happy. It feels good. =)

 

[Delta]

There was a conversation similar to this on another site I am a member of, Alpha's were described as these big strong rugged men but as I mentioned on that forum what about a skinny geek like Bill Gates? He is mega billionaire with his own company, that in itself would make him an Alpha, what if one of the Omega's in that graphic the OP posted struck it rich tomorrow, their standing would increase without them changing anything about themselves at all.

It's just not as clear cut as some like to make it and it's not all about money either even though my example were monetary based.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Yeah, what Rosebolt said. Believe in yourself.

And I hope you (and every other follower of the alpha/beta philosophy here) consider dropping this alpha/beta thing completely. It has done nothing but cause you pain, you just admitted as much. Why think that way when it only hurts you? Wanting to be an "alpha" makes no sense: You are still aspiring to be someone else's ideal, and you will never accomplish that. People will always want more from you, always, and the constant thought that you are not good enough will destroy you.

To put it in simple terms: Who gives a **** what other people think! True confidence can only come from within you. There is no standard except that which you set for yourself.

If anyone wants to think that I'm full of crap, that's fine. But a little over a year ago I couldn't leave my house because I was so afraid of people and what they thought of me. I was agoraphobic for 3 years. I even wrote a thread asking if I should change my personality, lol. People here told me what I'm telling you, and I listened. I'm free now. I don't care what others think of me. I still fight anxiety at times, but I'm free and happy. It feels good. =)

It's not that I think you're full of crap. I don't like the alpha/beta system either. It's just that I can't take the "who cares" approach to life, because I do care what I get. I'm not fine with just anything, any life, any job, any place to live, any romantic partner. That's not good enough. I want to be an alpha so that I can win some of the limited amount of good things away from the alphas, and then I want to be able to defend what I have against their predation.

The alpha/beta system has caused me a lot of pain, it's true. But I also want to be a man of choice, and that requires me to be an alpha. I don't see how I could get what I want any other way.

 

[Locke]

It's not that I think you're full of crap. I don't like the alpha/beta system either. It's just that I can't take the "who cares" approach to life, because I do care what I get.

You should care what you get. But that's not what you're doing. You are trying to change yourself into what you think other people want you to be.

I want to be an alpha so that I can win some of the limited amount of good things away from the alphas, and then I want to be able to defend what I have against their predation.

There is no such thing as an alpha. You do not fit into a category, you are unique. Every time you allow yourself be labeled, you degrade who you are and what you want out of life. You're worth more than that.

Tell yourself that you are good enough right now as you are, and believe it, because it's true. You know what would happen if you went up to someone and told them all of the ways you think they should change? They would tell you to go to hell, because they know what you don't: They're fine the way they are and what they do with their life is their business. So why are you letting what people think of you dictate your life? But just because you're good enough right now doesn't mean that you can't or shouldn't improve your life. You should if it's what you want, and starting is easy:

Write a list of realistic goals you want to accomplish. Do not write "I want to be this or that so a girl will like me."! Do things that you want to do. If you want an example:

1. Get a job/better job

2. Move out of parents house

3. Do something you always wanted to do, like see the Grand Canyon.

(The list trick is something I learned from EveWasFramed. I'm not sure if she knows how much she helped me with just a few kind words.)

Every time you accomplish something from your list, your confidence and self-esteem will skyrocket. People (Including many women you find attractive) will naturally be attracted to that confidence. Don't take it too hard if you fail at first, just keep trying. If you need advice (on filling out job apps and writing a resume for instance) ask people here.

A realistic example of why having confidence is important is is a job interview: If you talk to a potential employer and tell him that you can get the job done, he's more likely to hire you. If you go in thinking you're a "beta", he may sense that, and he'll be less likely to hire you.

Not caring what people think isn't about not caring what you get or what direction your life takes. It's about taking charge and forging your own destiny. It's about being your own man. You know what you have to do, but instead of doing it, you tell yourself that you're not good enough.

Your way isn't working. I'm not trying to be mean or rude, but you've been here for months. Has anything improved? The alpha/beta list is designed to keep you down and make you feel like you're not good enough, and you're still following it. If anyone or anything tells you you're not good enough, you should tell them to go screw themselves. I am getting what I want out of life not because I want to attract a girl, or because I tell myself than I'm not as good as other men. I accomplish my goals because they're my goals. I was born good enough to do what I want to do, as were you.

I realize that this post is way too long, but your posts always make me sad. I only want to help. If you had faith in yourself and your abilities, and did what you need to do because it's what you want, your life would change completely.

 

[lonelydoc]

It's not as big of a deal as you make it out to be. It's a question of definition, really, the meaning of terms.

If you are not tall, handsome, rich, and have ladies falling all over you, you are beta, period. That's what it means to be beta.

Yes you can still have a decent life as a beta. But can you grow four inches or make yourself handsome? No, you can exercise and clean up a little bit, but that's all.

You can also work really hard, but are you going to become a millionaire? Possibly, chances are, not.

So, if anything, I have a better sense of who I am, and stronger self-esteem, than obviously beta males who act defensively, and convince themselves they can join the higher category.

Embrace yourself as you are, beta males of this forum.

 

[TheRealCallie]

 

[VanillaCreme]

There is no such thing as an alpha. You do not fit into a category, you are unique. Every time you allow yourself be labeled, you degrade who you are and what you want out of life. You're worth more than that.

I couldn't agree more. I seriously wish more people had this attitude about themselves. Maybe then people would stop being so harsh on each other.