Does anyone else feel totally cut off from society, seeing people while out and about

[Windsor Davis]

who are laughing and having fun, and you wish you could be like them, but you can't because you lack social skills and/or have a mental or personality issue that prevents you meeting people and having conversations without being nervous and your mind going blank?

I've been like that since I was a toddler and only had many friends around the age of 20, through being drunk and wasting lots of money and time in pubs. I have now lost all those friends and have been a loner for 9 years. I have toured a lot and read about art, architecture, anthropology, literature and many other things to improve my conversation skills, but to no avail and I spend every evening alone watching tv, back living with my parents because of my depression, with a horrible feeling in my stomach, feeling totally cut off from the party the rest of the world is having in the world outside.

 

[Nina]

Windsor,
I know so many of those folks who laugh and appear to have the world in the palm of their hands, and they don't really. They just wear a different sort of mask and run around discussing everything with everyone, laughingly to hide what they really feel. They're gifted with the ability to communicate, but it never really lessens the pain and anguish they may be experiencing deep within themselves. Some look so together and functional most of the time, they seem almost intimidating to others but deep inside they're as much of a mess as the person who seems to have serious issues. Some folks are just far more skilled at hiding the pain, insecurity and fear.

I have been in social situations and felt even lonelier than if I were completely alone on a mountain top. Yet I smiled and spoke of the things society expected me to say...The party others seem to be having is mostly a programed response to societal expectations. It's like the playing the flute, some have a gift for it, others not so much.

If shy folks could only realize that the socially open folks have many of the same issues then the world really could function a bit better.

I think we're ALL cut off from others, till we finally find "ourselves" I haven't found me yet so all I can do is wish you luck and remind you to smile at folks, no matter who or what you think they are. The might be hiding a wound as big as yours behind that smile they're wearing or the words they use...

 

[no_one]

Holy crap I totally do

 

[Kenny]

Yes I do. When I see people being all human it doesn't make me jealous and want to be like them, it makes me want to watch all of civilization be consumed by a natural disaster like a tsunami or comet.

:shy:

 

[Viqta]

Welcome to the forum, brother. Of course, yes, I do feel like that almost all the time. I find it hard to communicate easily unless those I'm communicating with show interest in my convo. Else, I'm not interested in making them want to converse. This is probably out of a couple of past experiences that has registered in my conscious, or is it my subconscious now?

Nina has really said some useful things. Try smile when you can, and say hi to those acquaintances you come across. Also, if you are in the West, I think you can try volunteering and join meet ups. Would have loved to join those, but meet ups are extremely hard to come by in Nigeria. Just do anything that occupies your time and makes you feel real good.

Kenny, that's rather extreme. We don't need to go that far.

 

[edgecrusher]

i dont really feel it in the way that you described. but i do feel like i dont have a place. i just dont feel like i fit in or belong anywhere really.

 

[Drama]

Oh I dont wish to be like anyone. I do believe that no one is better than the others. We just need to find our way and take it to be satisfied in our lives

 

[A new life]

Standing knee deep in a river, and dyeing of thirst.

 

[linda]

Interesting. I have always felt "other", separate, different somehow from most others. Like I don't really belong here, there's no place I fit in. As if I am a tourist stranded in a country whose language and customs I don't understand.

 

[boodika]

I've always had that feeling of being in a bubble and looking out at people, never really connecting, or never fitting in or feeling likei belong. Seeing others with connections just makes feel lonelier, wondering how i ended up this alone!?

 

[Limlim]

With all of these people feeling the same way, it makes you wonder who actually feels like they are on the inside? Food for thought I guess.

 

[lonelylady2]

Yes have always felt seperate and different from the rest of the human race. it is a lonely place to be. in society nobody talks about being lonely and thats unheard of if like me your under 50.

 

[firebird85]

I do. I haven't had any friends since late 2005. Even back then I was ostracized. I don't know what can be done about it. The problem I see is that people are very disconnected. Unless you reach out first nobody is going to acknowledge you or respect you, and that's a big issue. In the past things were a little different without technology or cell phones. Most of the people here know my situation but alot just don't understand.