Either I'm too clingy or too distant

[the-alchemist]

I dunno what's wrong. It seems that girls want you to call them and ask them out. And one of my problems has been that I'm sort of emotionally distant. I don't call them often or ask them even if i have their number.

But when I try to do the opposite, they think I'm bothering them, im calling too much, they are busy etc. Like, this girl today, yesterday she said she was free tomorrow. I call her the next day and her phone is turned off. I only called her 2 times and sent one message. but she said I'm too clingy

Like, what am I supposed to do?

 

[blackdot]

Women are just that way. They always want the opposite of what you try to do.

They want men to be the ones that contact them. That's mostly so they can just ignore the men and not have to worry about the stress of rejection. Best to let the men suffer from that I guess.

Once you contact them, they then put you in a priority system. That being you are at the bottom of their list behind everyone else and everything else they have to do.

At some point they may contact you back. Once they do, you are put back at the bottom of their priority queue.

If you try to contact them multiple times before they have gotten where they contact you, they get annoyed that some low priority person is contacting them and erase you as a contact.

If you don't annoy them with multiple tries of communication, given that you keep getting put at the bottom of the queue, after a short period they will assume you must not have been important and they will erase you as someone to contact.

Rinse and repeat.

 

[Anten]

Calling twice and leaving a message isn't bad unless you did it all within a half hour. Tell that chick she doesn't know what clingy means and she is being irrational.

 

[Tiina63]

This is a difficult question because every woman is different. I hate the telephone and would find it very stressful if someone called me every day (unless it was later in the relationship and I had fallen in love with them, in which case I would want to talk to them every day). Then there are other women who want daily calls from the start. Maybe you could ask the woman what she would prefer?

 

[SophiaGrace]

Women are just that way. They always want the opposite of what you try to do.

They want men to be the ones that contact them. That's mostly so they can just ignore the men and not have to worry about the stress of rejection. Best to let the men suffer from that I guess.

Once you contact them, they then put you in a priority system. That being you are at the bottom of their list behind everyone else and everything else they have to do.

At some point they may contact you back. Once they do, you are put back at the bottom of their priority queue.

If you try to contact them multiple times before they have gotten where they contact you, they get annoyed that some low priority person is contacting them and erase you as a contact.

If you don't annoy them with multiple tries of communication, given that you keep getting put at the bottom of the queue, after a short period they will assume you must not have been important and they will erase you as someone to contact.

Rinse and repeat.

you know i have to agree that women don't have to suffer the pangs of rejection because they are more passive than men. I guess i am different, or I was different in the sense that i would tell boys i liked them and i would ask them out and stuff when I was younger. I don't do that anymore.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Blackdot, I'm going to pass off all your comments as you just being bitter. Because that's all I sense from you. We don't want the opposite of what guys do. Sorry that's all you've experienced, but we're not all the same. It depends on the person, and for you to suggest that we all want the complete opposite of what men do is ridiculous.

Alchemist, she must not have been for you then. If she thought two calls and a message was clingy, then perhaps she didn't really like you to begin with, because I don't think that's clingy at all. You should just be yourself. There's going to be someone who notices and likes you for who you are.

 

[sylvestris lybica]

Women tend to take too much early contact as a sign of desperation. Scratch that, most people. A lot of dating is game playing...acting like yeah we could go out next Saturday if I can pencil you in, and yeah i'll send you a few texts but i won't constantly reply because I have a full life. People want to think you are secure and active, and not starved for human contact. Which makes dating a horrible game for tge lonely people who meed affection in their lives.

 

[FreedomFromLiberty]

Blackdot, I'm going to pass off all your comments as you just being bitter. Because that's all I sense from you. We don't want the opposite of what guys do. Sorry that's all you've experienced, but we're not all the same. It depends on the person, and for you to suggest that we all want the complete opposite of what men do is ridiculous.

Alchemist, she must not have been for you then. If she thought two calls and a message was clingy, then perhaps she didn't really like you to begin with, because I don't think that's clingy at all. You should just be yourself. There's going to be someone who notices and likes you for who you are.

"If A Tree Falls in the Forest, The Man is Still Wrong"

Nuff said.

 

[AllAlone1]

Women are just that way. They always want the opposite of what you try to do.

They want men to be the ones that contact them. That's mostly so they can just ignore the men and not have to worry about the stress of rejection. Best to let the men suffer from that I guess.

Once you contact them, they then put you in a priority system. That being you are at the bottom of their list behind everyone else and everything else they have to do.

At some point they may contact you back. Once they do, you are put back at the bottom of their priority queue.

If you try to contact them multiple times before they have gotten where they contact you, they get annoyed that some low priority person is contacting them and erase you as a contact.

If you don't annoy them with multiple tries of communication, given that you keep getting put at the bottom of the queue, after a short period they will assume you must not have been important and they will erase you as someone to contact.

Rinse and repeat.

I have seen this too many times myself so I have to agree!

Women tend to take too much early contact as a sign of desperation. Scratch that, most people. A lot of dating is game playing...acting like yeah we could go out next Saturday if I can pencil you in, and yeah i'll send you a few texts but i won't constantly reply because I have a full life. People want to think you are secure and active, and not starved for human contact. Which makes dating a horrible game for the lonely people who meed affection in their lives.

Damnit! That Needs To Be A Sticky!!! Too Much Truth!!!

Blackdot, I'm going to pass off all your comments as you just being bitter. Because that's all I sense from you. We don't want the opposite of what guys do. Sorry that's all you've experienced, but we're not all the same. It depends on the person, and for you to suggest that we all want the complete opposite of what men do is ridiculous.

Alchemist, she must not have been for you then. If she thought two calls and a message was clingy, then perhaps she didn't really like you to begin with, because I don't think that's clingy at all. You should just be yourself. There's going to be someone who notices and likes you for who you are.

"If A Tree Falls in the Forest, The Man is Still Wrong"

Nuff said.

LOL! Its been that way since the beginning of time!

 

[EveWasFramed]

ABM