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pandas123

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For some reason i find that when i ignore facebook, i feel much better about myself and overall happier. Not super happy, but happier. When i do get on it, i tend to compare my life to others, i read what other are doing - having fun with their friends and all, and it makes me feel lonelier. Maybe i should ignore it more often, this way i could focus on myself and my hobbies. Idk why i started this thread, but i felt like writing my thoughts somewhere, yeah.
 
I always say the same honeysuckle; if you're feeling down, depressed, lonely, sad, anything. Stay away from Shitbook, it does NOT make you feel great with people living their fantasy lives & relationships.
 
Yeah if your life isn't dandy, Facebook is not a website for you.

I have a Facebook account, but I rarely use it. I have an app on my phone so if anyone speaks to me, it lets me know. I don't need to see my news feed at all :D
 
pandas123 said:
Shitbook. I like that haha.

It's one of those places that makes people feel that they're either missing out on something or that their lives is somehow inferior than everyone else's, but the sad thing is that the newer generation are being conditioned to this type of socializing and it's going to produce a generation of mental problems or issues. In fact there's already evidence of this everywhere, and it's only going to get worse before it gets better.
 
Gutted said:
Yeah if your life isn't dandy, Facebook is not a website for you.

I have a Facebook account, but I rarely use it. I have an app on my phone so if anyone speaks to me, it lets me know. I don't need to see my news feed at all :D

Exactly, don't need to look at the news feed or just turn the notifications off. Done.
 
OMFG!!! I'm in total agreement with everything posted here!!! It's like no matter what you do on there, you can't escape it's vapidness. So I totally agree, definitely stay away from the ******* news feeds!!! I only want to know when someone has contacted me(which hardly ever happens) and that's it but sometimes it feels like even that's not enough and I just want to shut that honeysuckle down altogether!!! But I'm so weak, I just can't bring myself to do it. 😔
 
I wanted to address something I've felt for some time now.

I used to think Facebook was bad for me. I used to think that it was silly to post pics of your dessert, or selfies from the mall, or group pics of you out on the town. I used to think FB users were playing a massive game of one-upmanship forcing me to do one better than them in a never-ending game that I always seem to lose.

Then, I realized I was wrong and that I was thinking about it the wrong way.

When "Grace" posts her 12 daily pics of the events that she attends, she is not thinking about the lonely, depressed people on her Friends List.

When "Diane" posts videos of her grandchildren four times a week, she isn't thinking about how a childless woman on her Friends List might feel when seeing that.

Grace and Diane are both good people. And what I came to realize is that it wasn't their wonderful lives that is the problem. It's my reaction to them that is the problem.

I react to pics of large gatherings with envy because they are having fun and I am not. I react to pics of family meetups with a sense of longing since I don't have a family who can do these things. I am switching back and forth between thinking that these pics are sweet and loving to thinking they are depressing and all I want to do is curl up into a ball and shut it all out.

But that's all me. Not Grace. Not Diane. Not any of the people on my Friends List. It's just me, incapable of seeing a friend's pics without thinking about how miserable I feel sometimes. Grace and Diane don't know I feel this way, and I have no right to tell them to stop it. But I can do something.

I can modify my own behavior. If I feel bad when I see a family gathering on FB, I can stop and not look at it. I can turn off all notifications. Or, I can deactivate my account, but then I won't be in contact with some really cool people.

I realize this is a tad long, but it's a bit of an epiphany to realize that Facebook is not evil. If evil exists in the world, I wouldn't point at Facebook as a candidate. They're just an aggregate site for individual users to share stuff with other people. Instead of blaming my FB friends, or even FB itself, I point at myself and challenge myself to change what I can change.

That's all. I'd give you a cookie if you got this far, but I'd have a hard time shoving cookies into my wireless modem. :D
 
I deactivate mine sometimes but I can never stay off it for more than like 3 days at a time, it's really pathetic. I usually just use it to post statuses that remind people I still exist.
 
I can relate totally. I use Facebook to contact those that I wouldn't usually be able to or if I am unable to contact them so Facebook can be convenient for me. (lack of credit on my phone)

I do have thoughts of jealousy/envy sometimes though and I know that I shouldn't be thinking this way because just because most peoples lives seem like they are going amazingly well it doesn't mean that they actually are. (not everyone is posted on Facebook) I just need to change my pattern of thinking from time and just try to be grateful with what I have instead of comparing myself to others.
 
I have to agree with Case. FB is definitely not evil, our perceptions of it are.
There are time when I get annoyed by people on FB. For example the people that take like 5 vacations a year when I've never had one or the people with something religious in EVERY single one of their posts.
BUT, while those people do tend to annoy me, I wouldn't want to NOT see them because that's who those people are, those are part of the reason I care about them. I wouldn't want them to change what they post no more than I would want them to change who they are.
If I get too irritated with someone's posts in my news feed, I simply set them to acquaintance and I don't see their posts in my feed.

Case said:
That's all. I'd give you a cookie if you got this far, but I'd have a hard time shoving cookies into my wireless modem. :D

I want a **** cookie, I read it all and it's my right, so gimme my **** cookie. :D
 
I'm not much of a Facebook person myself... I have less & less of a reason to go on it every day... Now, I check it about 5 times a month...
 
This is exactly why I thought a closed group on FB might not be a totally bad idea, it would be a place where those of us that have this issues can go and feel validated without having to actually deactivate our account and maybe get some actual fun out of the site as well. I would be able to be open my FB app and if I'm feeling crappy because of a pic or post I just happen to see in my news feed that left me feeling some type of way, I could instantly go to our group to vent my frustration or just peruse others frustrations to know that I'm not alone in that moment. Sometimes something like that can make that simple trip to FB town a bit more bearable IMO. That's just my perception though because I know many are still opposed to the idea of an FB group for many different reasons but I actually think with so many people feeling so adverse to FB but can't seem to leave it alone that this may actually be helpful.
 
Remember that what you see there, their pictures, is the best of their lives, it's like a product placement for their personality, they don't show the fights, children crying for hours in a row and being obnoxious, the boredom, we never know what is behind those pictures. Hell, I had twice someone tell me how they were envious of MY life (which I wouldn't wish to my worst enemy). You never know what is on the other side.
 
Case said:
I wanted to address something I've felt for some time now.

I used to think Facebook was bad for me. I used to think that it was silly to post pics of your dessert, or selfies from the mall, or group pics of you out on the town. I used to think FB users were playing a massive game of one-upmanship forcing me to do one better than them in a never-ending game that I always seem to lose.

Then, I realized I was wrong and that I was thinking about it the wrong way.

When "Grace" posts her 12 daily pics of the events that she attends, she is not thinking about the lonely, depressed people on her Friends List.

When "Diane" posts videos of her grandchildren four times a week, she isn't thinking about how a childless woman on her Friends List might feel when seeing that.

Grace and Diane are both good people. And what I came to realize is that it wasn't their wonderful lives that is the problem. It's my reaction to them that is the problem.

I react to pics of large gatherings with envy because they are having fun and I am not. I react to pics of family meetups with a sense of longing since I don't have a family who can do these things. I am switching back and forth between thinking that these pics are sweet and loving to thinking they are depressing and all I want to do is curl up into a ball and shut it all out.

But that's all me. Not Grace. Not Diane. Not any of the people on my Friends List. It's just me, incapable of seeing a friend's pics without thinking about how miserable I feel sometimes. Grace and Diane don't know I feel this way, and I have no right to tell them to stop it. But I can do something.

I can modify my own behavior. If I feel bad when I see a family gathering on FB, I can stop and not look at it. I can turn off all notifications. Or, I can deactivate my account, but then I won't be in contact with some really cool people.

I realize this is a tad long, but it's a bit of an epiphany to realize that Facebook is not evil. If evil exists in the world, I wouldn't point at Facebook as a candidate. They're just an aggregate site for individual users to share stuff with other people. Instead of blaming my FB friends, or even FB itself, I point at myself and challenge myself to change what I can change.

That's all. I'd give you a cookie if you got this far, but I'd have a hard time shoving cookies into my wireless modem. :D

+1 Agreed.
What I've been telling others myself. It's not Facebook. It's how you deal with it, and the people you might have on it.
 
ladyforsaken said:
+1 Agreed.
What I've been telling others myself. It's not Facebook. It's how you deal with it, and the people you might have on it.

Hey! Thanks for the +1, LadyF. Nice to know we are in agreement there. :)

TheRealCallie said:
Case said:
That's all. I'd give you a cookie if you got this far, but I'd have a hard time shoving cookies into my wireless modem. :D

I want a **** cookie, I read it all and it's my right, so gimme my **** cookie. :D

Alright, alright. Jeez, TRCallie. If you really want a cookie, PM me your address and I'll mail you one. But only you! One cookie! :D
 

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