Weekend really get the worst of me. I feel like I'm the only person in the whole school. With that, my mom call and we talk for a while. And then I tell her I'm lonely, and guess what she said??? You should go to church and pray, and have fun at church tomorrow. Same old respond...Why are my parent like this???
There is no church here and I rather die than go to one anyway.
Now my final decision is to stay over during spring break. There is NO way I'm going back home, and if I could get my wish, I WISH that I never EVER have to go back home.
I think I'm going to DIE in the summer. Why is my parent so ignorant??? They don't care if I'm lonely or not, WTF is their problem. Sometime I wish I was an orphan instead. Maybe like those 4 boys in the movie "December Boy", a very good movie BTW.
Ughh...that is exactly why I am not like everyone else and never will be.
It just bother me so much. What kind of parent don't care if their child is lonely or miserable?
Adding on to that, I feel like I'm living the same life like I did at home. Sure I'm in school and away from my parent, but I still spend most of my life in my room. I am still confuse at this point why I am like this. I remember in high school that if only someone would ask me to be their friend, and don't have to spend every lunch time being ashame and skipping lunch and hiding out in the library. Now in college, people knock at my door and ask me to hang out with them, but I experience so much social anxiety that I can barely open my door. How could social anxiety happen out of nowhere??? Sure I was shy in high school, but I experience 10X more anxiety in college than I ever did in my whole roller coaster of a life. So now I'm going "back to basic". It like it doesn't matter what age I am, or where I go, I always find myself in my room alone, while the world pass me by. Sooner or later, my friend will have bf and gf, and it just going to be extremely awkward for me. I don't hate social anxiety because it is not the cause of my problem. The real cause of my problem is GOD.
Right now I am so CONFUSE, I honestly don't know if I'm curse or not. It a shame really, what a waste of life.
There is no church here and I rather die than go to one anyway.
Now my final decision is to stay over during spring break. There is NO way I'm going back home, and if I could get my wish, I WISH that I never EVER have to go back home.
I think I'm going to DIE in the summer. Why is my parent so ignorant??? They don't care if I'm lonely or not, WTF is their problem. Sometime I wish I was an orphan instead. Maybe like those 4 boys in the movie "December Boy", a very good movie BTW.
Ughh...that is exactly why I am not like everyone else and never will be.
It just bother me so much. What kind of parent don't care if their child is lonely or miserable?
Adding on to that, I feel like I'm living the same life like I did at home. Sure I'm in school and away from my parent, but I still spend most of my life in my room. I am still confuse at this point why I am like this. I remember in high school that if only someone would ask me to be their friend, and don't have to spend every lunch time being ashame and skipping lunch and hiding out in the library. Now in college, people knock at my door and ask me to hang out with them, but I experience so much social anxiety that I can barely open my door. How could social anxiety happen out of nowhere??? Sure I was shy in high school, but I experience 10X more anxiety in college than I ever did in my whole roller coaster of a life. So now I'm going "back to basic". It like it doesn't matter what age I am, or where I go, I always find myself in my room alone, while the world pass me by. Sooner or later, my friend will have bf and gf, and it just going to be extremely awkward for me. I don't hate social anxiety because it is not the cause of my problem. The real cause of my problem is GOD.
Right now I am so CONFUSE, I honestly don't know if I'm curse or not. It a shame really, what a waste of life.