R
Rosebolt
Guest
Good day, my name is Rosebolt, and i had a problem. Several, actually. These times are now behind me, i managed to change my way of thinking and the way i tackle difficult situations. It was actually a comment here on this forum that pulled the trigger to let me change.
However it wasn't long ago when i stood in front of the medicin cabinet having a sudden and unexpected urge to take all that's in there, which is some serious stuff. I feel better now, but i realise there are still people out there who feel like honeysuckle at this moment, and it is for those people that i am writing this down. I will write down what i learned to make me feel generally more content with life, and i hope you can apply these ideas and concept to your own life to make your misery at least more bearable.
This is not to anyone directly, so what do i know? I don't know your situation right, what kind of right do i have to say i know how you feel?
Well, first off, i won't tell you that i know how you feel, because that would be an obvious lie. I've suffered bullying and verbal/mental abuse at home. I know what it feels like to be alone, i know what it feels like to have the feeling nothing good will ever happen to you, i know what it feels like to long for a significant other. However, i don't know what it feels like to be physically abused by a parent, i don't know what it feels like to be raped or sexually abused, i don't know what it feels like to lose a very special someone to death by wathever cause. I don't know. But what i do know, is that i can understand the way you feel, i cannot know exactly how you feel, but i can understand it. Having said that, i believe no one should be in such pain that you might be going through now, and that no one includes you.
You see, you are a valuable person, a worthy personality, proven by the fact that you are reading this, proven by the fact that you are still alive and fighting, wether you want to or not. I know this is going to be a long wall of tekst, but 15 minutes of your time is all i ask.
We've all been at the gates of the abyss here, we've been there together, now that i'm out, i want to take you all along with me, to enjoy a better life.
To begin, i want to ask you who you are. Not your name, not your looks, not your faults. Who are you, what do you believe in, what do you stand for? Do you know that? If you look in the mirror what is it that you see? What do you want to achieve in your life? What defines you? Perhaps you have a silent dream to travel to mars, but feel discouraged because it feels so far away? That pun was actually not intended.
Do you know who you are? If you do, hold onto that for the moment. If you don't really have an idea, think deep down what it is that you put value in, what it is that you stand for, what it is you want to do. I am talking about you, not your parents, but you, not your teachers or your boss, but you! Hold onto that for the moment, alright?
Alot of people are afraid of what other people think of them. I was like that as well, i was terrified of people judging me, which would then always be negatively. I had a close friend who was basicly my life, i helped her through her problems and she helped me through mine. But when that friendship started shaking here and there, so did my life, it kind of fell apart. It doesn't matter how thick the bond between two people is, there is always bound to be a crack in the rope that you have to deal with. This became hard, what was my life worth if it weren't for helping the people i care most about?
My focus was completely on these other people. People always told me it was better to focus on yourself because i'd only bring myself down this way. But i couldn't start focussing on myself, i'd only become selfish, these people are very important to me and i can't just abandon them, my biggest fear was (and is) to become an arrogant being.
Focus, that's the second thing i want to talk about. What is your focus in life at this moment? I know you might hate to hear it, but a part of that focus should be yourself, and i'll explain why. When i was having problems i always had my difficulities helping the people around me, i was quite negative myself, and it simply wasn't good enough to save a life most of the time. What happens when you spend more attention to yourself, is that when you improve yourself and feel better about yourself, you'll be alot better able to help the people around you, you will become more valuable to yourself and your surroundings.
So how do you do that? Do you simply say "okay i want to work on myself, now what?" How do you do something like that?
First you must realise what your focusses in life are. Do you focus on your work and your familie? Do you focus on helping other people and getting good grades at school? If you know where your focus lies, you can change them accordingly. This is all about knowing yourself, what we talked about as first step. Working on yourself means putting more focus in the things you value, for you are spending time on yourself then.
When you have one big focus on for example helping others, which is an amazing thing, but at the same time it's destroying you, you lose track of all the little things that happen around you. All the little things that you do well, that you succeed at, they don't matter anymore because you have this one focus, and your life is devoted to it.
What happens when you spend time on yourself, is that you succeed at things you (secretly) wanted to succeed at, accomplishing your goals gives a good feeling. This also brings us to the next point.
Never give up. I know you have heard this a million times, but it really is true. What happens if you work on yourself, towards a goal you want to achieve, but it doesn't go the way you planned it to be? What happens if you go to the grocery store to get your dinner, but you trip along the way? What happens when you are in a boxing match against the person you dislike the most being smacked to the ground? You stand up! You stand up for yourself, for your goal, for everything that you stand for. You might trip more than one time, you might trip twice, you might trip 50 times, or 500 times, but you will reach that ******* grocery store to get your dinner! And why would you? Because you believe in yourself, you hold on to your beliefs, your morals, your honour, wathever it is you want to call it.
So, you want to ask a girl/guy out, you grab all your courage to ask him/her, and then she says no. What happens now? The thoughts "nobody loves me" "i will never have a girlfriend/boyfriend" all go through your mind. But how will you ever get your dinner if you lie down on the street and not get to the grocery store? How will you ever beat your biggest nemesis if you lie down on the floor while he laughs at you? You have to keep standing up! Why? Because you're worth the effort you need to put in yourself! You are worth the time and energy that are needed to get you to your goals! You are worth the space and oxygen that you take, in fact, you could take ten times as much for all i care, you are worth being! That's why you stand up! That's why you try again! You might get rejected a hundred times, but there will be one who says yes, and that one person, might just be the love of your life, and you know why you two met? Because you crawled up from the floor and kept fighting. Listen, your efforts will pay off! Stand up!
I'm not always happy now either, i think sometimes, i feel sad sometimes still, but what is important to realise the train of thought you are in, to stand up again and fight for what you believe in.
The last idea i want to share with you is to take one step at a time.
Let's say you want to become a doctor. Your life is focussed on becoming a doctor and everything that's needed for it. You focus so much on becoming a doctor that you didn't pay enough to attention to what you need to know for that one exam you need to take soon. And then you fail the exam, and nothing of the dream remains. It becomes just that, a distant dream.
Let's say you want to build a 200 meter long and 3 meter high wall to protect you from evil demons of mars. How are you going to achieve something like that? How are you going to build a wall that is so big? One day you wake up and want to start building, but you don't even know where to start.
Let me tell you this, when you wake up that one day, the wall should be a distant thought in your head. Don't lose it all together, but keep it distant. When you wake up, you will lay one brick for that day, and lay it in the best possible way you can. Next day, you wake up again, you lay another brick. You keep doing that every single day, and soon, you will have a wall, and the evil demons from mars will have a problem.
Take one step at a time, keep it easy and clean for your mind, don't make it too big and chaotic.
You might want to stand up to your parents. You might want to stand up against your bullies. You might want to stand up against the government. You might want to stand up against the people who told you that you were a failure. You can do that, as long as you believe in yourself, and take one step at a time.
These are the four main things i want to share with you, i'll now finally come to an ending, not quite, but almost, there are just a couple of things i want to tell you.
Know that you are beautiful, know that you are worth being, know that you are special, because you are one of a kind. You might not see that as a good thing, you might not see the good things inside of you, but they're there, they're waiting for you to let them out. They're waiting to grow. Give them a chance, let them out, you will surprise yourself.
Know that i love you, each and every one of you, i love you, you are alive, you are courageous for coming this far, you have the strength in you to fight off a horde of a million mental soldiers by standing where you are standing now. For this i love you.
You're still reading? Good, it means alot to me that you have taken the time for reading this. You have taken the time for yourself, to look at yourself and see.
I ask you again now, who are you? Who is the real you, what is it you stand for? What is it you believe in, and what is it that you want to achieve?
Go and live, because you are worthy of being alive.
Thank you for reading.
However it wasn't long ago when i stood in front of the medicin cabinet having a sudden and unexpected urge to take all that's in there, which is some serious stuff. I feel better now, but i realise there are still people out there who feel like honeysuckle at this moment, and it is for those people that i am writing this down. I will write down what i learned to make me feel generally more content with life, and i hope you can apply these ideas and concept to your own life to make your misery at least more bearable.
This is not to anyone directly, so what do i know? I don't know your situation right, what kind of right do i have to say i know how you feel?
Well, first off, i won't tell you that i know how you feel, because that would be an obvious lie. I've suffered bullying and verbal/mental abuse at home. I know what it feels like to be alone, i know what it feels like to have the feeling nothing good will ever happen to you, i know what it feels like to long for a significant other. However, i don't know what it feels like to be physically abused by a parent, i don't know what it feels like to be raped or sexually abused, i don't know what it feels like to lose a very special someone to death by wathever cause. I don't know. But what i do know, is that i can understand the way you feel, i cannot know exactly how you feel, but i can understand it. Having said that, i believe no one should be in such pain that you might be going through now, and that no one includes you.
You see, you are a valuable person, a worthy personality, proven by the fact that you are reading this, proven by the fact that you are still alive and fighting, wether you want to or not. I know this is going to be a long wall of tekst, but 15 minutes of your time is all i ask.
We've all been at the gates of the abyss here, we've been there together, now that i'm out, i want to take you all along with me, to enjoy a better life.
To begin, i want to ask you who you are. Not your name, not your looks, not your faults. Who are you, what do you believe in, what do you stand for? Do you know that? If you look in the mirror what is it that you see? What do you want to achieve in your life? What defines you? Perhaps you have a silent dream to travel to mars, but feel discouraged because it feels so far away? That pun was actually not intended.
Do you know who you are? If you do, hold onto that for the moment. If you don't really have an idea, think deep down what it is that you put value in, what it is that you stand for, what it is you want to do. I am talking about you, not your parents, but you, not your teachers or your boss, but you! Hold onto that for the moment, alright?
Alot of people are afraid of what other people think of them. I was like that as well, i was terrified of people judging me, which would then always be negatively. I had a close friend who was basicly my life, i helped her through her problems and she helped me through mine. But when that friendship started shaking here and there, so did my life, it kind of fell apart. It doesn't matter how thick the bond between two people is, there is always bound to be a crack in the rope that you have to deal with. This became hard, what was my life worth if it weren't for helping the people i care most about?
My focus was completely on these other people. People always told me it was better to focus on yourself because i'd only bring myself down this way. But i couldn't start focussing on myself, i'd only become selfish, these people are very important to me and i can't just abandon them, my biggest fear was (and is) to become an arrogant being.
Focus, that's the second thing i want to talk about. What is your focus in life at this moment? I know you might hate to hear it, but a part of that focus should be yourself, and i'll explain why. When i was having problems i always had my difficulities helping the people around me, i was quite negative myself, and it simply wasn't good enough to save a life most of the time. What happens when you spend more attention to yourself, is that when you improve yourself and feel better about yourself, you'll be alot better able to help the people around you, you will become more valuable to yourself and your surroundings.
So how do you do that? Do you simply say "okay i want to work on myself, now what?" How do you do something like that?
First you must realise what your focusses in life are. Do you focus on your work and your familie? Do you focus on helping other people and getting good grades at school? If you know where your focus lies, you can change them accordingly. This is all about knowing yourself, what we talked about as first step. Working on yourself means putting more focus in the things you value, for you are spending time on yourself then.
When you have one big focus on for example helping others, which is an amazing thing, but at the same time it's destroying you, you lose track of all the little things that happen around you. All the little things that you do well, that you succeed at, they don't matter anymore because you have this one focus, and your life is devoted to it.
What happens when you spend time on yourself, is that you succeed at things you (secretly) wanted to succeed at, accomplishing your goals gives a good feeling. This also brings us to the next point.
Never give up. I know you have heard this a million times, but it really is true. What happens if you work on yourself, towards a goal you want to achieve, but it doesn't go the way you planned it to be? What happens if you go to the grocery store to get your dinner, but you trip along the way? What happens when you are in a boxing match against the person you dislike the most being smacked to the ground? You stand up! You stand up for yourself, for your goal, for everything that you stand for. You might trip more than one time, you might trip twice, you might trip 50 times, or 500 times, but you will reach that ******* grocery store to get your dinner! And why would you? Because you believe in yourself, you hold on to your beliefs, your morals, your honour, wathever it is you want to call it.
So, you want to ask a girl/guy out, you grab all your courage to ask him/her, and then she says no. What happens now? The thoughts "nobody loves me" "i will never have a girlfriend/boyfriend" all go through your mind. But how will you ever get your dinner if you lie down on the street and not get to the grocery store? How will you ever beat your biggest nemesis if you lie down on the floor while he laughs at you? You have to keep standing up! Why? Because you're worth the effort you need to put in yourself! You are worth the time and energy that are needed to get you to your goals! You are worth the space and oxygen that you take, in fact, you could take ten times as much for all i care, you are worth being! That's why you stand up! That's why you try again! You might get rejected a hundred times, but there will be one who says yes, and that one person, might just be the love of your life, and you know why you two met? Because you crawled up from the floor and kept fighting. Listen, your efforts will pay off! Stand up!
I'm not always happy now either, i think sometimes, i feel sad sometimes still, but what is important to realise the train of thought you are in, to stand up again and fight for what you believe in.
The last idea i want to share with you is to take one step at a time.
Let's say you want to become a doctor. Your life is focussed on becoming a doctor and everything that's needed for it. You focus so much on becoming a doctor that you didn't pay enough to attention to what you need to know for that one exam you need to take soon. And then you fail the exam, and nothing of the dream remains. It becomes just that, a distant dream.
Let's say you want to build a 200 meter long and 3 meter high wall to protect you from evil demons of mars. How are you going to achieve something like that? How are you going to build a wall that is so big? One day you wake up and want to start building, but you don't even know where to start.
Let me tell you this, when you wake up that one day, the wall should be a distant thought in your head. Don't lose it all together, but keep it distant. When you wake up, you will lay one brick for that day, and lay it in the best possible way you can. Next day, you wake up again, you lay another brick. You keep doing that every single day, and soon, you will have a wall, and the evil demons from mars will have a problem.
Take one step at a time, keep it easy and clean for your mind, don't make it too big and chaotic.
You might want to stand up to your parents. You might want to stand up against your bullies. You might want to stand up against the government. You might want to stand up against the people who told you that you were a failure. You can do that, as long as you believe in yourself, and take one step at a time.
These are the four main things i want to share with you, i'll now finally come to an ending, not quite, but almost, there are just a couple of things i want to tell you.
Know that you are beautiful, know that you are worth being, know that you are special, because you are one of a kind. You might not see that as a good thing, you might not see the good things inside of you, but they're there, they're waiting for you to let them out. They're waiting to grow. Give them a chance, let them out, you will surprise yourself.
Know that i love you, each and every one of you, i love you, you are alive, you are courageous for coming this far, you have the strength in you to fight off a horde of a million mental soldiers by standing where you are standing now. For this i love you.
You're still reading? Good, it means alot to me that you have taken the time for reading this. You have taken the time for yourself, to look at yourself and see.
I ask you again now, who are you? Who is the real you, what is it you stand for? What is it you believe in, and what is it that you want to achieve?
Go and live, because you are worthy of being alive.
Thank you for reading.
