Forced to be 'Normal"

[ledchick]

Well, I am going to try to condense this. If you have read any of my previous post then you know I am bi polar, a married (21 yrs) mother of 3 and also being evicted from our rental home of 6 years due to our landlord selling it out from under us without any warning,

so of course this is traumatic to anyone, I think anyway.
Well, I spent yesterday trying to find us a place to move to. I live in a very touristy area, where even a rental home is outrageous in price...because well it is a vacation area. Finally after hours and hours on the phone and the web, ( oh did I mention I am a social recluse and this type of thing is VERY hard for me to do) I found a banker with some foreclosed properties that was willing to work with us to get us into one.
After my husband comes home,he has had a few and is not exactly Mr Charming, he is just so short tempered with me, and keeps saying it is me that is short tempered and why am I acting that way etc.... basically prjecting his attiitudes and feelings onto me....I just couldnt take it any more.....he mocked me and humilitated me with 'why cant you just me normal' why cant you just snap out of it' what is your problem' you just use this as an excuse, the next thing you will say is you are going to kill your self because all you want is attention.
well I did not argue with him I just went to the sun room and took a blanket and cried myself to sleep.
Now all I hear in my head is "why cant you just be normal" why cant you just be normal'
I am beginning to think that I believe him.
:club:

 

[Nyktimos]

None of us are normal, or if we are that normality comes with faults. Alcohol dependency and failing to have patience with a spouse's illness are not axactly positive traits. He could also be asked to just 'snap out of it'. I bet he'd find that difficult. You're going through such a difficult time right now, and your illness must make it hard to find someone to lean on. He should be there for you, but his weakness makes that difficult for him so he lashes out at you instead. I want to hug you! You deserve a big hug, at the very least! How are your kids coping right now?

 

[ledchick]

My kids are more adult about it than my husband is....but I feel really bad for them that they have to be adults and not children. They are afraid to say anything to him, he is such an ass.
Today I have no time for tears or feelings, as I have to pack and make ready to move. But it is so very hard. I feel like the saddest girl in the whole wide world. I am praying for a miracle
Thank you for the hug it is the reassurance that someones idea of normalcy is anothers idea of crazy. ))))))))) <3 (((((((((

 

[Unacceptance]

Ask him to define what normal is. I'm sure it's probably something only actresses portraying housewives in the 1950's ever were.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Normal does not exist.

There's average...

But not normal.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

mmmm...if you live with an alcoholic...you'll get bi polar and then some. More like PTSD becuase
of all the chaso and madness of it all. Unmanageablities is an understatement.

It's very stressful for anyone to have to go through what you're experiencing.

yes..sometimes divine intervention is much needed.

 

[Naleena]

It must be hard to live with a man who drinks. Alcoholics can be mean-really mean. I've seen it. Don't let his drunken words hold any weight with you. Im sorry you had to experience that. It hurts when people we are close to say such mean things.

 

[EveWasFramed]

((((((((((Ledchick))))))))))

 

[ledchick]

well, in a very calm matter I took some of you alls, advice.
I asked him if he could 'snap out' of being an alcoholic.....he was well, let say shocked. I said it is a disease just like me, I have a disease and you expect me to just snap out of it....and it is not possible, so let's see you do it first if you think it is so easy.
He took a step back from me and then said you are right. I guess you cant just snap out of it. I am sorry for saying that to you.
Now I know this wont last forever, but atleast I have made a chip in the wall. and maybe, just maybe.....he will not say those words to me again.

 

[Senamian]

You want to know why we cannot be NORMAL? becuase normal is the setting on your washer. It does not exist otherwise. If normal means being nothing but a clueless, lifeless, selfish clone then sure let's all be that right? You are who you are, as I am who I am, and that's who we'll be. Next time he does that to you, just calmly turn around and tell him "why can't you be understanding?" saying it calmly, is the way to do it.

 

[Sprint]

You want to know why we cannot be NORMAL? becuase normal is the setting on your washer. It does not exist otherwise. If normal means being nothing but a clueless, lifeless, selfish clone then sure let's all be that right? You are who you are, as I am who I am, and that's who we'll be. Next time he does that to you, just calmly turn around and tell him "why can't you be understanding?" saying it calmly, is the way to do it.

lol I like that.