badaboom said:
yeah I think im gonna write a letter forgiving her but im not gonna mail it or anything because the hate is in me its my emotion like you said the anger is within me so once i do that it will be fine i guess. and why did your ex not give a f*** about you after you forgave her? i find that is how girls are..they cry and whine when you do something to them but when they do something to you they are totally oblivious to their own and act cold have no remorse.
Forgiveness didn't work for me..becuase my forgivness gave my EX-gf a free pass to everything
I became her doormate after a while...or that's how she went about it.
The relationship truned really toxic becuase i was trying to make it work but she took it as her
not having to be accountiable for anything. Well, becuase I would always forgive her.
I got really, really mentally and emotionally torn up in the process. It went on for years.
I couldnt let go of her.
I've basically been working on a recovery program call the sedona methode.
I listen to mp3 file...and it walks me through it.
It's very simple. It bascailly teaches me to let go.
First it tells me to hold on to an object.
Then it say to squeeze as hard as I can ( I will feel tension in my body)
Then it tells me to roll the object around in my hand.
Then it tells me to squeese the object...then release or drop
the object..( I will feel releave or release)
This helps me get a visual or understand how my brain works a little bit.
It also lets me see visually that I'm capiable of droping or letting go.
What this also dose is saperate my thoughts and emotions from me.
I'm not my thoughts or emotions...I experince thoughts and emotions.
Example:
In the past i would said..."I'm angery"
Now it's...." I feel angery"
Then it moves forward to releasing whatever problems or pains I have in my life.
It recommend that you write becuase there's more emotions attached to the writing.
Then I bascailly just visual my pains, anger or sorrows as I would an object.
The more I practice doing this...the more I'm able to live or become happy.
It's almost like a natural process..once you release pain, anger.
Happiness or peace comes.
The sedona methdoe also re-enforce over and over again that I'm whole already. I'm complete.
Thought it's not a spiritual program. No praying or mediations required.
It however has the same principles as any other spiritaul teachings.
Spiritaul teaching gets me to the piont of BEING WHOLE and COMPLETE ALREADY.
WHOLE is the same as saying ATONEMENT or TRINITY. No saperations from god ( UNCONDITIONAL LOVE)
To be whole means all healing in complete love.
Some people say peace and god is the samething.
It's that spirit or power that's avaliable to me ..within me.
It's the samething as saying "ask JC to come into my heart"
JC' teaching however say...the kingdom of heaven is inside of all of us...bascaily we're LOVE.
In religiouse teaching forgiveness is the same as letting go.
In the Course of Mirracles there's also excercizes about letting go of your anger.
You write this to release anger.
I feel angery at________________________becuase of___________________________.
It's okay to feel our anger. If we stuff our anger we'll get depressed
It also tells me to not try to figure it out....(Sedona)
Yeap that's the problem I was having also. I couldn't figure out why my ex-gf would act like that. I didn't makesence to me.
As soon as I try to figure it out...I get stressed then it retriggers my anger and hate again and again...becuase it couldn't
be resolved. If it was resolves, i didn't like my conclusion. It just became a visouse cycle of me reliving the hate and
anger over and over again. It was like a cycle of love and hate that went on in my mind. It bascailly drained all the
energy out of me...Which prevented me from moving forward or thinking about other girls or my career...etc
My sponsor was also trying to lead me in this direction. He knew I was struggling.
He suggested that I put it on the shelf...or back burner.
bascailly he was trying to get me to stop feeling my hate and anger ...I was only hurting myself.
He also listen to me....I needed to have someone listen to me without judgements or telling me if it was right or wrong.
I just need someone to listen...not to agree with me nor disagree with me...(it's the same when you go see a therapiest)
I needed that...becuase my ex-gf cutted me off everytime I wanted to talk about it.
It's kind of like if you were climaxing during sex or you can't climax and actaully cum or release.
It was like that with my thoughts and emotions.
Writing about also helped me.
There's different ways...In other healing program or self help books.
It gets into time lines... the way I percieve or process my life as in a time line.
It suggest that if I get an image of my EX-GF...(I don't know when they're going to pop into my mind..lol)
I trun the images black and white...(this way it trigger less emotions).
Then I visually push the images out away from me...making them smaller.
For me,...my past is on my left. My future is on my right.
Some people's past is behind them.
Anyway,...sometime when I get an image of my ex-gf, I turn it black and white (old and dull)..then I push
it way...way..way to the left of me or behind me..
This way I don't run with the memories of my ex...which triggers emtions..(good or bad.)
It's almost the samething as what my sponsor was trying to get me to do...."put it on the shelf and dont figure it out"
This vedio actaully helped me...before I got my sponsor or found the sedona program.
I went through a break up...then my other GF died and grand mother died within 6 months.
I was a mental and emotional wreck...
I watched this vedio every morning just so I could go into work and sort of function.
