Good looking and yet still lonely

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I'm actually not sure about my level of attractiveness.

I know I'm about 50 pounds overweight, and that makes me look unattractive. But before I was overweight...I'm not sure.

 

[Moe'sTavern]

I'm dead average when it comes to looks; so they will never be an advantage in the dating world. I'll probably need to develop a personality in order to a foot in the door.

 

[Skills10]

There are a number of ways to begin dealing with loneliness that involve the need to develop friendships, doing things for yourself, or learning to feel better about yourself in general.
- Constantly remind yourself that the feeling of loneliness is TEMPORARY and you will get over it in time.
- Make an effort to talk to someone NEW. I know it is hard, but you must develop momentum and the first step is usually the hardest but most necessary.
- Put yourself in new situations where you will meet people. Engage in activities in which you have genuine interest. Meet with people of similar interest.
- Join societies like church groups, organizations and others.


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[Yoosha]

No point of having good looks if I feel like a loser most of the time. Too introverted to make friends or keep friends. I think to get friends you will need to have confidence and high self esteem.

 

[sk66rc]

This is not meant to put down those who aren't or don't consider themselves physically attractive. I know it might seem that way but I'm really not someone who is caught up in looks(whether it be mine or someone elses).

However, sometimes there's this train of thought where if you are lonely you must be ugly or unattractive or whatever. "Oh, she's so beautiful, why is she still single?" That kind of thing.

So obviously just because someone is good looking does not mean they aren't lonely. I do consider myself to be good looking and I would be even better looking if I took better care of myself and dressed nicer but being alone means I don't really have anyone to impress so that department can be a challenge.

So what I am wondering here is if there are others on here who either have been told they are attractive or feel they are and yet it hasn't made much difference in their social lives and they still don't have hardly any(or any at all)friends. This is the case for me. It can be even more frustrating if you are "handsome" or "pretty" because then you think "Geez I must have a really crappy personality or something" or maybe just not good in social situations. Being attractive does not guarantee any kind of social life and that's really what I am getting at here.

For some, being alone is by choice... As I've stated in other replies, I don't feel lonely often... There are times I couldn't get away from people, including people whom I consider my closest friends & family... For the most part, it's not that I feel lonely, it's more of a "boredom" I have issues with... I hangout with friends & I feel the same way... We sit around staring at each other with loss for words & I'm thinking, "We're here, we're hanging out... Now what?"... It's a good thing that few friends I have basically are similar in personality though not as extreme...

I've always thought an appearance can get you only so far, there will come a point where people are gonna be doing the same thing I've done with my friends, wondering "Now what?"...

I've been told, though I understand attractiveness is very subjective term, that I'm attractive once or twice & I've been told I'm "decent looking" few times, whatever that means, lol... Again, it's not that I can't get a date, & believe me I'm not trying to be conceded, I just don't feel the need to or want to more often than not...

 

[LadyDaria]

I have to say that being too goodlooking I have always thought sort of must be lonely. When I see someone who is good looking, I RUN. Two reasons, let say, he fell madly in love with me...I probably would never be able to handle being secure in his love. I would always assume he was getting some on the side... or be paranoid about it. Two, I find that when I am around a very good looking guy, OTHERS ACT insane. Others want to be around him or girls throw themselves at him. So I can see it might be a very lonely place.

Though, I always try to treat very good looking guys just as nice as I would anyone. I tend to push them off from any close relationship.

 

[sk66rc]

I have to say that being too goodlooking I have always thought sort of must be lonely. When I see someone who is good looking, I RUN. Two reasons, let say, he fell madly in love with me...I probably would never be able to handle being secure in his love. I would always assume he was getting some on the side... or be paranoid about it. Two, I find that when I am around a very good looking guy, OTHERS ACT insane. Others want to be around him or girls throw themselves at him. So I can see it might be a very lonely place.

Though, I always try to treat very good looking guys just as nice as I would anyone. I tend to push them off from any close relationship.

Hope you don't say that to the potential date... "I know I don't really go for a good looking guy but you'll do..." sounds a bit harsh to me, lol...

 

[LadyDaria]

Hope you don't say that to the potential date... "I know I don't really go for a good looking guy but you'll do..." sounds a bit harsh to me, lol...

Yes I do... why would that be a .... oh wait.

 

[sk66rc]

Hope you don't say that to the potential date... "I know I don't really go for a good looking guy but you'll do..." sounds a bit harsh to me, lol...

Yes I do... why would that be a .... oh wait.

Ha ha ha... Uglier the better, right? Ok, in that case, I'm a definite catch...!!!