I'm less angry than I used to be, which is good, but I'm really just bitter and cold now. I both opt for solitude and simultaneously dislike too much of it. Yet, I'm quite socially awkward and amoral, so I have a hard time making friends. Furthermore, my ideologies and comprehension of things is so vastly different that it makes having a conversation with people on subject matters difficult if they possess no depth. Though, quite frankly, I wouldn't too much have it any other way.
I'm at peace, in one hand....
In the other, I am restless...
I quite often on a regular basis swing from complacency to paranoid discomfort and back again. It's quite maddening sometimes....
I've pretty much totally given up on the idea of a love life. It's too damning to try and fail, and too time consuming to attempt to take care of another when I'm hardly able to take care of myself. I've decided to leave it at "if it comes around, and sparks my interest enough, I'll follow. but I'm not going to go looking anymore."
There's a part of me that's logical and null of emotional input that clearly sees that I have no support and no security other than what I make for myself....and then there's an emotional side to me that's fairly deadened that believes that my family and close ones (though I rarely see anyone anymore) will still catch me if I fall....
I don't too much suppose there's a right answer.
I'm also less inclined to like junk food now, whereas it was all I ever wanted when I was younger.