Hello, I thought I should introduce myself.
I'm a 30 year old female living in the UK. And my life is a lonely one.
I was brought up in the army. We had to move house every 6-12 months. I spent the first ten years of my life making fiends and losing friends. For a child this is difficult. In my teens and adulthood this made it easy for me to make friends, yet also easy to lose contact with friends. I seem to be programmed to fall out of touch with people and don't seem to bother maintaining friendships.
In my mid teens it became apparent that I had developed a facial disfigurement, I had a very large underbite. I was bullied terribly. I began to hate myself. Throughout my teens and up until the age of 21 I avoided boys because I always assumed that if they asked me out it was as a dare from their friends.
I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 21. It was a disaster, he wasn't a very nice person and cheated on me. My second boyfriend at the age of 26 (I was single for 5 years in between) also cheated on me. As did my third boyfriend a couple of years later. So suffice to say, I now have some rather severe trust issues with men.
If I rewind a little. When I was 26 I began a process to have my underbite corrected. I wore braces for 4 years and underwent a 6 hours major reconstructive surgery to correct my jaw alignment. It involved sawing off both jaws, repositioning them and setting them in place with titanium plates. I was on a liquid diet for 8 weeks. But it was all worth it because now I am what society would call 'pretty' perhaps even beautiful.
Anyway, my years of bullying, low self-esteem and cheating boyfriends, now mean that I can't seem to hold down a healthy relationship. I push guys away, accuse them of cheating and generally act like a crazy cow. On top of that I work around 60 hours a week with unsociable hours so it is very difficult to find time to date.
I'm not one of those women who needs a man. I'm fully financially independent, I'm capable and confident. I'm just rubbish with men.
I have joined this forum, because some nights I get so lonely and unhappy that it will comfort me to chat to others who feel the same. And then on other nights when I feel content and ok, I would like to offer words of support to those feeling blue.
It would be nice to make some friends
I'm a 30 year old female living in the UK. And my life is a lonely one.
I was brought up in the army. We had to move house every 6-12 months. I spent the first ten years of my life making fiends and losing friends. For a child this is difficult. In my teens and adulthood this made it easy for me to make friends, yet also easy to lose contact with friends. I seem to be programmed to fall out of touch with people and don't seem to bother maintaining friendships.
In my mid teens it became apparent that I had developed a facial disfigurement, I had a very large underbite. I was bullied terribly. I began to hate myself. Throughout my teens and up until the age of 21 I avoided boys because I always assumed that if they asked me out it was as a dare from their friends.
I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 21. It was a disaster, he wasn't a very nice person and cheated on me. My second boyfriend at the age of 26 (I was single for 5 years in between) also cheated on me. As did my third boyfriend a couple of years later. So suffice to say, I now have some rather severe trust issues with men.
If I rewind a little. When I was 26 I began a process to have my underbite corrected. I wore braces for 4 years and underwent a 6 hours major reconstructive surgery to correct my jaw alignment. It involved sawing off both jaws, repositioning them and setting them in place with titanium plates. I was on a liquid diet for 8 weeks. But it was all worth it because now I am what society would call 'pretty' perhaps even beautiful.
Anyway, my years of bullying, low self-esteem and cheating boyfriends, now mean that I can't seem to hold down a healthy relationship. I push guys away, accuse them of cheating and generally act like a crazy cow. On top of that I work around 60 hours a week with unsociable hours so it is very difficult to find time to date.
I'm not one of those women who needs a man. I'm fully financially independent, I'm capable and confident. I'm just rubbish with men.
I have joined this forum, because some nights I get so lonely and unhappy that it will comfort me to chat to others who feel the same. And then on other nights when I feel content and ok, I would like to offer words of support to those feeling blue.
It would be nice to make some friends
