higher ed vs relationships

[jayme89]

I've been thinking a lot about how higher ed has really hindered my social life vs exalting it. I was one of those students who didn't get the message that school wasn't for studying in the library 24/7 but instead it was for wild parties, sex, and socializing. Also being shy, deemed as "weird", and not attractive to conventional society put a damper on my social and romantic life in college. I just wasn't one of those kids invited out to parties, bars and clubs with my classmates no matter how hard I tried to fit in. Believe me, I tried! So when I was graduating and contemplating grad school one of the cons of going was "limiting my ability to form relationships". I think school is great for people who fit the mold. many meet their husband/wives in school but for others like me it just closes us off to the world for 2-5 more years (or however long the chosen program is) and can be a very lonely time. A big reason for me not going to grad school was because I hated being so isolated. If I was attractive and outgoing college would be amazing for me but thats just not the case. So going for my masters or phd before I'm married would not serve me. It would indeed be nice to be in college and meet someone equal to me academically but it just seems like a huge risk that wouldn't pay off. I met so many single women 28+ in school who were all getting their phds and complaining about being single and it just seemed sad to me. I'd be better off working as a teacher for a few years, being out in the real world and seeing what opportunities come about that way before considering school again. (also I am referring to university/full time programs, I'd consider part time school I could do while working)

NOTE: I'm not saying I would go to college for the soul purpose of finding a man/boyfriend/husband. Just giving my opinion of how college personally dampens my chances for finding love. Anyone relate to this? Any thoughts?

 

[lostatsea]

I don't see the causation you do between higher ed and relationships. I went to grad school and have my MBA, and most of my friends and family have a masters or higher. At the same time they had no problem forming relationships. There is undoubtedly a link between being a studious student and being wild, but it's not an either or.

What I will say is that I am upset at how I spent my college days. I didn't maximize it lie I should have. Way too much time alone in my dorm room playing video games and the sort. The closest friends I have now I went to college with, but at the same time, I didn't make nearly enough friends. I didn't take advantage of how easy it is to meet people in college, have parties, go on adventures, etc.

 

[Badjedidude]

I also disagree.

I'm about to finish my MA, and I haven't had trouble meeting anyone. Most of the people I know in my department have relationships, and although I'm not in a relationship at the moment, I've never felt that it was because I'm in graduate school. I've dated around and had some fun with girls while in higher ed -- just never wanted to take it to the next level or get deeply involved with them on a romantic level. So it was my own choice, not that my situation prevented it from happening or something.

And I've never felt that college is some sort of bubble that isolates me from the rest of the world. It's entirely possible to be in college/at uni and live a normal life; meeting people, going to events, working, etc.