the-alchemist
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- Nov 2, 2010
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Man, it's so typical. For a few weeks, my mom and I are on good terms. And then suddenly, without my consent she convinces me to let her read a letter of mine against my will? How did she manage that you ask? While I have gotten better over the years, I'm pretty weak-willed because of my older brother's years of emotional abuse. But still, for her to abuse this weakness of mine is ******* low. And as an added bonus, I'm also angry at my older brother for conditioning me into being like this.
I ******* hate my family, I have been treated like honeysuckle by my brother and my mother and father all my life
And now, when I try to talk to my mom about and criticize her, she won't listen. She won't say that she is sorry or talk about it. All she does is talk to me ironically. She will say in an ironical way "OK, I know you hate me." "I am the world's worst mother. You won't have to see me anymore." "I am an idiot, a moron!" etc. But she says it with an ironical and taunting tone
And then she got angry and asked me what I wanted her to do as if I'm some sort of a dictator. She says things like "What do you want me to do! You decide!" "We can cut off our contact if it makes you happy!". But she says that so that I will shut up.
All I want is for her to owe up to what she did and just listen to what I have to say. In the past when I talked to her about the bad things she did, she listened and came and hugged and kissed me on the cheek saying that she is sorry. And then it would be over. But now over the years, she has lost that sort of humility and compassion. She becomes extremely defensive. She never addresses what I say. She doesn't even defend her actions or try to argue for it. She just takes that ironic tone with me and yells at me
So once again I sit here just feeling anger against her. And during those times, I can't sleep, I don't eat and I feel like honeysuckle basically. My social skills regresses when I feel like this, and right now is a crucial point where I need to keep a good face and be at my social best.
I ******* hate my family, I have been treated like honeysuckle by my brother and my mother and father all my life
And now, when I try to talk to my mom about and criticize her, she won't listen. She won't say that she is sorry or talk about it. All she does is talk to me ironically. She will say in an ironical way "OK, I know you hate me." "I am the world's worst mother. You won't have to see me anymore." "I am an idiot, a moron!" etc. But she says it with an ironical and taunting tone
And then she got angry and asked me what I wanted her to do as if I'm some sort of a dictator. She says things like "What do you want me to do! You decide!" "We can cut off our contact if it makes you happy!". But she says that so that I will shut up.
All I want is for her to owe up to what she did and just listen to what I have to say. In the past when I talked to her about the bad things she did, she listened and came and hugged and kissed me on the cheek saying that she is sorry. And then it would be over. But now over the years, she has lost that sort of humility and compassion. She becomes extremely defensive. She never addresses what I say. She doesn't even defend her actions or try to argue for it. She just takes that ironic tone with me and yells at me
So once again I sit here just feeling anger against her. And during those times, I can't sleep, I don't eat and I feel like honeysuckle basically. My social skills regresses when I feel like this, and right now is a crucial point where I need to keep a good face and be at my social best.