Prometeus
Member
- Joined
- Mar 14, 2012
- Messages
- 10
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I've felt very lonely from time to time for.. years, I think it started about 7 years ago when i left high school, where i had a very social life. Since then I've lost quite a few friends but also met the first women in my life, two of which has been my girlfriends (one currently is.)
About half a year ago I met by current gf, and for the first time in these 7 years I didn't feel lonely anymore. About a week ago she changed antidepressants, which has sort of completely shut her off, she tells me she doesn't really feel anything for me, but I hope that is just because of the medication situation.
So I'm back to feeling lonely, and I realize I can't be this dependent on my gf for being able to function as a person. Is it completely unreasonable to "demand" from oneself that one should be able to live with friends, family but without gf and not feel lonely?
The loneliness i feel is sort of existential, it feels like if my gf weren't with me, my entire future would be lonely, I imagine my friends leaving me, my older relatives dying and so on, and it makes me completely depressed. This also makes it very hard for me to live my life in general, when i get the anti-loneliness comfort my gf gives me i get stuff done, but when i'm alone i just can't focus on anything, especially not at home, and especially not in the evening.
I'm wondering if the various rejections and other sad things that have happened in my life has lead to this fear of being alone? Could it be that i'm depressed?
The fact is that I'm not a very lonely person, i have a gf even though she's.. distant, I have a small but loved/loving family, some close friends and quite a few other friends and i'm a pretty social guy at work.
I'm very grateful there is a forum like this, everyone here who spends time helping people who are alone or feel lonely is a ******* hero.
About half a year ago I met by current gf, and for the first time in these 7 years I didn't feel lonely anymore. About a week ago she changed antidepressants, which has sort of completely shut her off, she tells me she doesn't really feel anything for me, but I hope that is just because of the medication situation.
So I'm back to feeling lonely, and I realize I can't be this dependent on my gf for being able to function as a person. Is it completely unreasonable to "demand" from oneself that one should be able to live with friends, family but without gf and not feel lonely?
The loneliness i feel is sort of existential, it feels like if my gf weren't with me, my entire future would be lonely, I imagine my friends leaving me, my older relatives dying and so on, and it makes me completely depressed. This also makes it very hard for me to live my life in general, when i get the anti-loneliness comfort my gf gives me i get stuff done, but when i'm alone i just can't focus on anything, especially not at home, and especially not in the evening.
I'm wondering if the various rejections and other sad things that have happened in my life has lead to this fear of being alone? Could it be that i'm depressed?
The fact is that I'm not a very lonely person, i have a gf even though she's.. distant, I have a small but loved/loving family, some close friends and quite a few other friends and i'm a pretty social guy at work.
I'm very grateful there is a forum like this, everyone here who spends time helping people who are alone or feel lonely is a ******* hero.