How to be interesting?

[Paraiyar]

That's the opposite. We can't force ourselves to be interested. As paraiyar said, the less interesting you are, the more popular you are. I'm not going to put an act to think chit chat is a reward.

I think you and Paraiyar are right. I have tried, but I can't force myself in being interested in something. But on the other hand, if people are not interested in me (since they cannot force themselves to do so) , and I can't force anyone to be interested, then it would mean that there is no solution?

Sometimes you have to use discretion about talking about your interests, at least at first when you've only just met them. The thing that seems to work is asking a person about themselves. I feel like when you get closer to someone you can talk more about your own interests and they'll be more inclined to respond positively even if they are a little more unusual.

Xpendable, I can understand you not wanting to put on an act but maybe you should try this approach of asking about people if you haven't already and see what it gets you. You might also find that some people are more interesting than you thought.

 

[beautiful loser]

[As paraiyar said, the less interesting you are, the more popular you are. I'm not going to put an act to think chit chat is a reward.

And that is why you don't get anywhere with girls. You are your own worst enemy, to afraid think outside the box. Anytime someone mentions ideas on how to get a person's attention you come back with a defensive retort on how it won't work...hell, you don't even try but you have all the answers (you, as well as few others). Sorry to be dick, but that is why you don't and never will have success with women.

Side note - how far did you get with the girl in that This girl thread? I'm willing to bet, by doing it your way, you haven't gotten anywhere, have you? Why? Probably because you pussied out.

In a way, I do want to apologize, because I do like you Xpendable, but goddammit the way you fight every ******* piece of advice, especially stuff that has worked for others, gets so ******* old.

 

[Paraiyar]

[As paraiyar said, the less interesting you are, the more popular you are. I'm not going to put an act to think chit chat is a reward.

And that is why you don't get anywhere with girls. You are your own worst enemy, to afraid think outside the box. Anytime someone mentions ideas on how to get a person's attention you come back with a defensive retort on how it won't work...hell, you don't even try but you have all the answers (you, as well as few others). Sorry to be dick, but that is why you don't and never will have success with women.

Side note - how far did you get with the girl in that This girl thread? I'm willing to bet, by doing it your way, you haven't gotten anywhere, have you? Why? Probably because you pussied out.

In a way, I do want to apologize, because I do like you Xpendable, but goddammit the way you fight every ******* piece of advice, especially stuff that has worked for others, gets so ******* old.

Yeah, what Xpendable needs to learn to do is to push back at that negative voice in his head. I didn't mean to imply with my first comment that someone should let more unusual interests stop them from trying with people. I just question the notion that being more interesting makes for a better social life, in your 20s at least.

 

[Xpendable]

And that is why you don't get anywhere with girls. You are your own worst enemy, to afraid think outside the box.

On the contrary, it's thinking outside the box what has made me alienated.

Anytime someone mentions ideas on how to get a person's attention you come back with a defensive retort on how it won't work...hell, you don't even try but you have all the answers (you, as well as few others).

I 've actually retort after Ive tried those methods and failed. I'm not saying they won't work, I'm saying that in my specific case they don't.

Sorry to be dick, but that is why you don't and never will have success with women.

Don't worry, if you weren't allowed to be a dick how could you be more relevant?

Side note - how far did you get with the girl in that This girl thread? I'm willing to bet, by doing it your way, you haven't gotten anywhere, have you? Why? Probably because you pussied out.

Do you even read the threads properly? I was attracted to her precisely because we both have similar interests. No faking, no pretending to approach someone by not filtering every useless piece of information that we are supposed to be wanting from them. Do I have to record every conversation I have to prove how mind-numbing they are? Sorry man, but I can't shutdown who I am, I can't nod and smile while my neurons are put to sleep. Thanks for reminding me about her btw, was forgeting how distressed she was the other day when her whole class had an intervetion from the teachers about their performance, I was forgeting about her inability to look me at the eyes while talking to me or her crippling social inadequacy around people. Maybe I should make a move now when the exams are comming, or tell her how I feel before the 5 seconds she takes to log out from facebook after seeing I'm online. Maybe I should ask her "how it's going?, crazy weather we have today" and talk about that for the whole 30 minutes she goes there in the week. I get you have your standard, western, lineal reasoning on how the world works and the pop-psychology everyone's so sure about, but something very evidential about what I'm talking about is how I go around the real world and here at 50%. I share the half of what I think, half of what I know, half of what I want to know and no one or nothing seems to want to bring the other half. Not because they don't want to, but because they don't need to. I get how I can't force anyone to be interested in me, why can't I have the same freedom? Why can't I choose what interactions will bring me satisfaction, and therefore happiness? You're asking me to deny who I am, I'm not doing this on purpose, I don't want to avoid people, I don't think I'm better or smarter, I'm just mentally unable to connect with them and vice versa. That won't change, because they won't change either. Work has to be done in both sides. I made mine many years ago and lost hope in the end. If that's being a pussy, then I am. I like who I am, don't give a honeysuckle about the weather.

In a way, I do want to apologize, because I do like you Xpendable, but goddammit the way you fight every ******* piece of advice, especially stuff that has worked for others, gets so ******* old.

Only when the advices are dull and unoriginal.

 

[Paraiyar]

And that is why you don't get anywhere with girls. You are your own worst enemy, to afraid think outside the box.

On the contrary, it's thinking outside the box what has made me alienated.

Anytime someone mentions ideas on how to get a person's attention you come back with a defensive retort on how it won't work...hell, you don't even try but you have all the answers (you, as well as few others).

I 've actually retort after Ive tried those methods and failed. I'm not saying they won't work, I'm saying that in my specific case they don't.

Sorry to be dick, but that is why you don't and never will have success with women.

Don't worry, if you weren't allowed to be a dick how could you be more relevant?

Side note - how far did you get with the girl in that This girl thread? I'm willing to bet, by doing it your way, you haven't gotten anywhere, have you? Why? Probably because you pussied out.

Do you even read the threads properly? I was attracted to her precisely because we both have similar interests. No faking, no pretending to approach someone by not filtering every useless piece of information that we are supposed to be wanting from them. Do I have to record every conversation I have to prove how mind-numbing they are? Sorry man, but I can't shutdown who I am, I can't nod and smile while my neurons are put to sleep. Thanks for reminding me about her btw, was forgeting how distressed she was the other day when her whole class had an intervetion from the teachers about their performance, I was forgeting about her inability to look me at the eyes while talking to me or her crippling social inadequacy around people. Maybe I should make a move now when the exams are comming, or tell her how I feel before the 5 seconds she takes to log out from facebook after seeing I'm online. Maybe I should ask her "how it's going?, crazy weather we have today" and talk about that for the whole 30 minutes she goes there in the week. I get you have your standard, western, lineal reasoning on how the world works and the pop-psychology everyone's so sure about, but something very evidential about what I'm talking about is how I go around the real world and here at 50%. I share the half of what I think, half of what I know, half of what I want to know and no one or nothing seems to want to bring the other half. Not because they don't want to, but because they don't need to. I get how I can't force anyone to be interested in me, why can't I have the same freedom? Why can't I choose what interactions will bring me satisfaction, and therefore happiness? You're asking me to deny who I am, I'm not doing this on purpose, I don't want to avoid people, I don't think I'm better or smarter, I'm just mentally unable to connect with them and vice versa. That won't change, because they won't change either. Work has to be done in both sides. I made mine many years ago and lost hope in the end. If that's being a pussy, then I am. I like who I am, don't give a honeysuckle about the weather.

In a way, I do want to apologize, because I do like you Xpendable, but goddammit the way you fight every ******* piece of advice, especially stuff that has worked for others, gets so ******* old.

Only when the advices are dull and unoriginal.

Well then don't complain when you don't get what you want.

 

[Forsaken-Knight]

[As paraiyar said, the less interesting you are, the more popular you are. I'm not going to put an act to think chit chat is a reward.

And that is why you don't get anywhere with girls. You are your own worst enemy, to afraid think outside the box. Anytime someone mentions ideas on how to get a person's attention you come back with a defensive retort on how it won't work...hell, you don't even try but you have all the answers (you, as well as few others). Sorry to be dick, but that is why you don't and never will have success with women.

Side note - how far did you get with the girl in that This girl thread? I'm willing to bet, by doing it your way, you haven't gotten anywhere, have you? Why? Probably because you pussied out.

In a way, I do want to apologize, because I do like you Xpendable, but goddammit the way you fight every ******* piece of advice, especially stuff that has worked for others, gets so ******* old.

Yeah, what Xpendable needs to learn to do is to push back at that negative voice in his head. I didn't mean to imply with my first comment that someone should let more unusual interests stop them from trying with people. I just question the notion that being more interesting makes for a better social life, in your 20s at least.

i agree 100% Why all the negativity Xpendable? You have any suggestions?
M also lonely what are some things that interest you? List them...Find people who are interested in the same things. If you see someone youre atracted to ask them what they are interested in...chances are ..eventually someone will match up..or you may find a new interest. Dont be afraid to ask..its the only way to find the answers.

 

[Forsaken-Knight]

Keep in mind to......rejection...is nothing more than redirection.....

Takes on a different meaning when you look at it that way doesnt it?

 

[TheSkaFish]

I think being interesting is about standing out in some way. Being unique, having a niche. I feel like people who are interesting are passionate about something, either good at things or trying to get good at them. They tend to have a wide array of things they know about.

 

[Droopy]

The only way to be interesting, is to be true to yourself. I'm always honest about my feelings. Whether it gets me a bad reaction or a good one, it's better to be true to myself as it gives everyone an easier time lol

 

[Forsaken-Knight]

I think being interesting is about standing out in some way. Being unique, having a niche. I feel like people who are interesting are passionate about something, either good at things or trying to get good at them. They tend to have a wide array of things they know about.

yep that makes sense..ever seen the beer commercials with the "worlds most interesting man"?

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

....

 

[TheSkaFish]

I think being interesting is about standing out in some way.  Being unique, having a niche.  I feel like people who are interesting are passionate about something, either good at things or trying to get good at them.  They tend to have a wide array of things they know about.

yep that makes sense..ever seen the beer commercials with the "worlds most interesting man"?

Sure I have, the Dos Equis guy.  I know this is an area I need to work on.  After a lot of thinking, I've concluded that there is not enough to me to make me stand out enough.  So I need to do more to build up some uniqueness of my own.

---

Keep in mind to......rejection...is nothing more than redirection.....

Takes on a different meaning when you look at it that way doesnt it?

I agree, and that's what's so frustrating about it.  I want to go in a certain direction, but I don't want the direction life is trying to redirect me into. More like, I don't want the direction life is trying to keep me on, that I tried to escape from but wasn't good enough, partially for what I mentioned above - I wasn't interesting enough.  It makes me feel powerless, like I don't even have a say in what I get or a chance to fix mistakes that I only made out of ignorance, not bad intentions.  And that's why I hate it so much.

 

[M_also_lonely]

....

I was thinking the same thing.

 

[VanillaCreme]

The only way to be interesting, is to be true to yourself. I'm always honest about my feelings. Whether it gets me a bad reaction or a good one, it's better to be true to myself as it gives everyone an easier time lol

I agree. But this thread... woo... Goodness. I'll just say that what's interesting to 99 people might not be interesting to the 100th person. I'm interested in things that many people probably wouldn't even think about, like the washing suds in the washing machine. And I couldn't care less if people aren't interested in what I am intrigued by. Interest isn't determined by everyone else. It's determined individually and personally. Being called "interesting" by the majority of people doesn't mean everyone will agree, and it doesn't even guarantee to make someone like you.

 

[Forsaken-Knight]

I think being interesting is about standing out in some way.  Being unique, having a niche.  I feel like people who are interesting are passionate about something, either good at things or trying to get good at them.  They tend to have a wide array of things they know about.

yep that makes sense..ever seen the beer commercials with the "worlds most interesting man"?

Sure I have, the Dos Equis guy.  I know this is an area I need to work on.  After a lot of thinking, I've concluded that there is not enough to me to make me stand out enough.  So I need to do more to build up some uniqueness of my own.

---

Keep in mind to......rejection...is nothing more than redirection.....

Takes on a different meaning when you look at it that way doesnt it?

I agree, and that's what's so frustrating about it.  I want to go in a certain direction, but I don't want the direction life is trying to redirect me into.  More like, I don't want the direction life is trying to keep me on, that I tried to escape from but wasn't good enough, partially for what I mentioned above - I wasn't interesting enough.  It makes me feel powerless, like I don't even have a say in what I get or a chance to fix mistakes that I only made out of ignorance, not bad intentions.  And that's why I hate it so much.

---

You my friend have the power to change this....

"More like, I don't want the direction life is trying to keep me on, "

My point is...say you ask a girl out...she says no..thats rejection...but if you look at it like REDIRECTION...and redirect you attentions..elsewhere...it becomes a learning experience....shes not the right one....so move...on..dont take it personally or negatively...look at his as something positive...similar to a multiple choice test...you just found out that A is not the right answer..so now try and check out B C and D!