I am lonely but shouldn't be...

[Iwant2Bhappy]

I am new and have read a few post. I do not know quite how to start this thing so I will just jump in.

I am married and in my thirties. I have no children (not from a lack of trying.) I have felt lonely most of my life. I did not grow up with a supportive family and I married into one that I catch talking bad about me from time to time. I have no friends here. I have one friend in Florida who's life is the American dream and another who is on the edge of depression in California. (Neither state am I in.) I am not suicidal but sometimes I wonder when this long journey will end and why it had to start in the first place. I fruitlessly wonder about the "me" I might have been if I had a mother that loved me. I can't help but assume that me would have been better. Maybe I would have been more charismatic and easier to love.

 

[I'm Fine]

Hi, just because you're married doesn't mean you can't be lonely. I'm married (and have a child) but am lonely too (that's why I'm here, after all).

I'm glad you're not suicidal (always a plus) or feel that you're on the edge of depression like your friend but you obviously feel that you're lacking something. Is it simple friendship or what? What makes you think that you're hard to love?

As to the what ifs? They'll drive you crazy if you let them. I don't know if you having a different upbringing would have changed you that much. My brother and I had the same upbringing (obviously) and he's very charismatic and I'm, well, not - so obviously it wasn't upbringing that did it there. Perhaps it's genetic? The point is, you don't know what would have happened in those circumstances - for all you know it might have made you narcissistic and spoilt. And if you want to know how I *really* feel about assumptions...see my sig

Anyway, welcome to the site and I hope you find what you're looking for. Take care and good luck *hugs*

 

[Iwant2Bhappy]

Hi, just because you're married doesn't mean you can't be lonely. I'm married (and have a child) but am lonely too (that's why I'm here, after all).

I'm glad you're not suicidal (always a plus) or feel that you're on the edge of depression like your friend but you obviously feel that you're lacking something. Is it simple friendship or what? What makes you think that you're hard to love?

As to the what ifs? They'll drive you crazy if you let them. I don't know if you having a different upbringing would have changed you that much. My brother and I had the same upbringing (obviously) and he's very charismatic and I'm, well, not - so obviously it wasn't upbringing that did it there. Perhaps it's genetic? The point is, you don't know what would have happened in those circumstances - for all you know it might have made you narcissistic and spoilt. And if you want to know how I *really* feel about assumptions...see my sig

Anyway, welcome to the site and I hope you find what you're looking for. Take care and good luck *hugs*

I say that I am hard to love because of how my mother treated me growing up. She was very verbally abusive. I wish I could say it was just her with an aversion to me but all through school people treated me that way. As if it was okay to throw me away.

I do wish I had a couple of friends around here. I want to get out of the house more and do something.

 

[I'm Fine]

Perhaps if you posted your general location, people who live nearby could say so?

And just because your mother was abusive doesn't mean it was because you're hard to love. It can have more to say about her than you. Same goes for the others (although it's not something that can be easy to accept).

 

[Iwant2Bhappy]

Perhaps if you posted your general location, people who live nearby could say so?

And just because your mother was abusive doesn't mean it was because you're hard to love. It can have more to say about her than you. Same goes for the others (although it's not something that can be easy to accept).

I live in Savannah, GA.

 

[upanddownlikeayoyo]

Welcome

You can be lonely at at any time, any place and with anyone.

I don't think anyone is easier to love based on their background, but I do feel alot of your feelings stem from your childhood as you point to.("if I had a mother that loved me"). Sadly, our childhood can

Have you ever seeked professional help over this to help you understand that part of your life?

Most families talk bad about the inlaws because they'll never be good enough in their eyes for their own family member. Despite that, your wife still married you, so that must say something about her love for you. Don't forget the old "Outlaws are wanted, Inlaws are not" phrase.

 

[Callie]

welcome

 

[Poguesy]

G'day

 

[mickey325]

Hey, welcome to the site. I can relate to that weird melancholy feeling, not particularly sad about the life you lead but not entirely happy at the same time but it's always best to not look back on things and wonder about what outcomes could've came, could be time spent on wondering how to improve the things you don't like about the "now".
I'm kinda new here too so let's hope we can both find something to feel less lonely about