I don't get most people

[Paranoid Android]

So, our school had its prom on Saturday. I didn't go because I do not feel comfortable being in a large group of people, especially a group of people that I am not too found of. A few people have asked me about prom, and all of them think I am crazy for not going. Even my friends at school think I missed out on an amazing time and that I should have gone. I have told them that I don't like parties, but they disregard it.

Why is it so hard to believe that I do not like large social gatherings? I mean, I can go to parties, but not big ones like this. It's really got me thinking of what I share with them, and it doesn't seem like much. They don't get the way I think, outside of the prom thing, and this realization makes me feel like an alien on a foreign planet. I have met one person who gets me, but we can't be the only ones.

Are we alone here? Am I alone here? I don't know for sure, but it looks like it.

 

[Sci-Fi]

You are not alone, I don't like large social gatherings either. I went to my prom with friends, no pressure. It was fun. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't have gone. I try to avoid social gatherings as much as possible.

 

[perfanoff]

I didn't go to prom because I did not feel like spending time with people I don't like, to pretend to be best friends with for a night.

The ones from my class who are my friends, I still see them or keep in touch with.

 

[Dissident]

For me there was simply no point in going. The only girl to ask me to go with her only asked because she'd exhausted all her other options. This was someone who otherwise couldn't stand me, as far as I knew. (Some women I knew in high school had recently confessed to me that they had a crush on me in high school but were afraid I'd reject them; I think they actually wouldn't have approached me because of the social stigma that seemed to surround me.) I come from a poor family so all of the things you'd expect to be able to do at a prom (such as wearing nice dress clothes) I simply couldn't afford. Moreover everyone at the school either despised me or felt utter apathy to my existence so I also would have missed out on the social aspect of it, as well. I joked that the only reason I would have gone was for food, but would rather have a burger anyway.

 

[duff]

You are not alone, I don't like large social gatherings either. I went to my prom with friends, no pressure. It was fun. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't have gone. I try to avoid social gatherings as much as possible.

I do too.

I don't like them, simple as that !

 

[9006]

You're not alone, the fact of the matter is that you're young, then this is kinda what most young people do, you're showing maturity for your age, like you said yourself; they don't like you do, they don't seem on the same level.

It's not necessarily a bad thing, but you need to understand that they think you're missing out from their perspective, not everyone else's.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I didn't go to my prom either. People were asking me to go though. I just didn't care for it, especially after I asked the one person I wanted to go with told me no. I don't regret not going, as I didn't care much for school anyway. So, don't even care what others say. You didn't go for your own reasons, and that's perfectly fine.

 

[Regumika]

i never went to any high school dances, i dont like social gatherings. no one asked me, but like dissident i probably had an aura of "dont bother to ask me". did it hurt my feelings that no one actually asked? no, because i know i dont need 'reassurance' about my social status.

i didnt go to my graduation either. not because im ashamed, top 10%. i just went to school during summer vacation, went to the front office and picked up my diploma.

how many 'friends' did i have in high school? 6ish. how many of them do i still talk to to this date? 1. the rest are just facebook friends.

 

[jzinsky]

Give me one good reason for going to a place I can't stand, with a bunch of people I couldn't give a crap about (at best), to commemorate a period of time in my life that I hated.

What did I miss on? Well unless a thousand people had changed overnight then nothing

 

[Revengineer]

You're not alone. I hate large noisy parties even though it's what everyone else around my age seems to live for. Every time I'm trapped at one of those I just want to run home and sleep the rest of the night. Bah introversion.

I didn't go to my high school prom because I didn't have a date. At the time I was so socially clueless that I didn't realize it was fine to go just by yourself. I'm sure it would have been fun though, I kind of wanted to ride in a limo. Then again it's just high school so who really cares. lol

 

[MellyVinelli]

I went to an all boys school, sausage festival. When I was in grade 10 I swam competitively but not much of a winner in the water. Lots of girls that I would talk to but had a hard time making any moves. Friend of mind told me about this girl he liked at his school. She came out with him and I don't know what I was thinking got her MSN and then hit it off and took her on a date. Stole her from my friend. I actually don't know if she had any idea what she was doing either. Anyhow fast forward two years and I didn't have to worry about asking anyone to prom, she just came. Then broke up in 1st year uni. We were not exactly the uber loaded popular people there so I'm sure it was way more fun for those who rolled up in daddy's Ferrari and road service on the way. There were always the few who enjoyed the spotlight where everyone was simply there to clap their hands.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

You're not alone, I hate parties as well. Prom was enjoyable and I did it in High School but I never was the party type of girl. My attention was more into art, films, music or reading. Anytime I been to a birthday party when I was younger, it was hard trying to get along with some of the other kids cause of how shy I was. So going to a social gathering would probably frighten me and have a panic attack knowing me, lol. I just learn to laugh at myself once in awhile so I don't lose my head.

 

[simplesimonette]

I'm uncomfortable in large crowds, even if I like everyone there. I feel an obligation to engage - smile, chat, disengage, repeat - just thinking about it is exhausting. I don't avoid situations like that, but I don't seek them out either ... unless it involves dancing.
The fact that you recognize and accept how you are instead of trying to change yourself to be socially accepted is an indication of your maturity.

 

[flaneur]

I'm trying to be as objective as possible, so I apologize in advance if I seem like another person who doesn't "get it". There's a sharp distinction between not liking parties because they don't appeal to you, and not wanting to go because you're afraid of certain social situations that arise in them. I personally feel that if someone fits the latter, it's better that they try to go in order to desensitize themselves and get more comfortable in those situations. Not only could it prove a bit therapeutic, but that person will save themselves years later from regret at having missed out due to irrational (but very human) fears.

 

[fongab91]

That makes another one me here. I don't like big parties either. But I can admit to what flaneur said, I do not go into a crowd because I have a problem of myself.

Things will gets clearer when you reach older, and you will be able to understand the reason why one day. I am a vegetarian here, and I always talk about eating vegetable when I met with the friends I know, that because we human should not help the cruelty in animal breeding and animal slaughtering. I talk about the good for health too. Try to encourage them.

But you know what, after two years I am being a vegetarian, I only realize the real reason in myself, why I do that in the first place. I just love animals, that's all.

When I see the video slaughtering them, breeding them in an inhuman way, it pisses me off. I love them so much that I am willing to give up meat for the rest of my life for them. That's a big decision made you know. I do not dislike meat, I still like meat now. Just I will not eat them anymore.

You are still young, you will know that you do not like to go to big parties. But you may not yet find out the real reason inside yourself yet. When years pass, time will tell. That is a process everyone will experience one day.

 

[Mike510]

Parties aren't my thing either. They are loud and a lot of people usually acting dumb. Its also easy to feel like an outcast when there is a bunch of people screaming and jumping around and you don't want to do the same thing

 

[blackdot]

I was asked out to the prom back when I was in school but I said no. I never saw the point in wasting a lot of money on a dance where people went to break up with each other.

 

[Moe'sTavern]

I don't like big social scenes either so I didn't go to my prom. Also I didn't want to bother asking random girls just for all of them to say no to me. Since I was more or less one of the "invisible" people in high school, my absence would not have been noticed.

 

[Peaches]

The ugly thing about those large social gatherings I think is that they a) they are very anonymous in a sense, people are not there because they have something in common but just because that is what people do, so it's easy if one's idea of fun is different from general drunkness from a gathering to feel alienated, and b) that kind of gathering in particular has an enormous pressure, you have to get the girl, or the boy, or look good, or whatever, so I guess the fun gets sidetracked.
But yeah, with 6 billion people in the world no matter how weird one is, it is much likely that there are similar persons, to find them it's probably a matter of luck and of following one's interests.

 

[perfanoff]

Every once in a while, I have trouble falling asleep, rolling over in bed and thinking.. "but what if I DID go to prom? What my life could have been??"