I feel dumb sometimes

[somber_radiance]

You know how some people are motivated by people telling them they CAN'T do something? Well that doesn't work for me.

I just feel dumb. I second guess myself so much...sometimes I go from a good/right decision to a bad one. So it just becomes this endless cycle of I'm dumb. Failure. See, I am dumb. More failure. And self-esteem continues to drop.

I'm not a total loser...a couple years ago I was great at whatever I dedicated myself to...but lately I just don't have the drive anymore. I just think...there's no way I could do it...I'll juts fail again.

How do you motivate yourself? How do you believe in yourself?

 

[Sci-Fi]

I basically convince myself I can't do something, people don't have to do it for me, lol. If someone says "you can't do that" it kind of ticks me off. Motivating myself is hard, I'm a terrible procrastinator. But hey in all reality you never know if you can't do something if you don't even try.

 

[LoneKiller]

Take a martial arts class. It gives you confidence in yourself, others will respect your discipline, which in turn will increase your self respect, and give you direction.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

None of us lack motivations.
We're either motivated to sit on our butts or motivated to get up. It's all in the pay offs.

Some of it has to do with Self Talk...Positive self talk or negative self talk.
The informations being played over and over in our heads makes up
our beliefs

Some of it has to do with how we percieve things or our perceptions.
Kind of like making a mountain out of a mole hill...when we make a mistake...ect
Or if we view life or a goal is like climbing a mountain..Then we're always going
to be looking up at things. Looking up at a moutian to climb seem overwhelming and tiresome.
To change that...simply just learn how to look down at things or your challenges.
Like rowing your boat going down stream, Once you pick up momentum..you'll just keep
on going without much effort.
It's all under your feet...If you make a mistake...it's just all bumps on the road.
If we believe things are easy...then we'll make it eaier.
If we believe things are going to be hard...we make it harder on ourselves.

A major factor is in how we feel...If we're tired or lack energy..then everything
seems harder. so sometimes we just need to rest, eat right and exercise.
Exercise will increase our endurance and also lower depression.
If we eat heavy food..then were going to get tired.
If we're not gettting proper vitamins such as vitamins Bs....It'll effect our moods.

So basically these 3 things combine to make up our attitudes.

Also...if we break things down into portions...we can achive greater things.
Kind of like eating a steak in little pieces at a time.

Also we must seat down and ask ourselve why were doing certain things...
If were doing things to please other people or get accepted by others...that's not always a good idea.
If we worry what others thinks of us...thats not a good idea either.
If we compair ourselves to others....that's not good.
All these things will destroy ourself esteem....

 

[beautifulsorrow]

Just because you second guess yourself too much doesn't mean you're dumb.
Well, you'd have to get excited enough about it so that you'd want to do it, also when you hear yourself saying you can't do it tell yourself that you CAN. It gets better slowly and gradually and you sum up more courage and enthusiasm with time.

 

[Ak5]

Dumb? I feel dumb as well. But I've realized that I'm too hard on myself. Here's what I tell myself.

"Don't expect to be perfect in everything, but expect to put your best efforts into it."

So even if you fail, you took the time preparing and doing your best at it.

 

[The_Old_Soul]

For me personally, I just stopped caring about failure. Sounds simply I know, but by not trying I'm failing automatically, so why not give it a shot? Also, as much as it shouldn't matter, when people do compliment me, it gives me a huge morale boost. I know this is pretty simplistic advice, but it's what works for me...I try not to over think things, because when I do I wins up talking myself out of doing certain things or going certain places. I just try to look at things straightforward.

 

[Callie]

You never really fail unless you give up trying. I often feel dumb and like I'm making the same mistakes over and over again, but if I don't do it, who will? I don't really have any help...and even if I did, I RARELY ask for help. When you do finally accomplish what you're trying to do, though, you feel better about yourself. Just keep working to better yourself and eventually you'll start feeling better about yourself.

 

[somber_radiance]

Take a martial arts class. It gives you confidence in yourself, others will respect your discipline, which in turn will increase your self respect, and give you direction.

I did take a martial arts class once...for about a year. It brought out the a different side of me. I do want to get back into martial arts/self defense training after I tackle my current challenge!

---

@Lonesome Crow = that helped put things in a different perspective. I too often compare myself to my peers...there are some truly amazing people I've worked with/studied with/observed from afar. I know it's not good to compare yourself to others...but it's so hard not to...especially since I used to be that person people would compare themselves to.

Ha...but now? If I were a marathon runner...I'd be that person crawling on the ground, barely making it through. But, I'm close to the finish line. If I can just bring myself to cross that finish line... I win. I can move on to bigger greater things in life.

 

[Gutted]

I actually don't know what motivates me. Many many people have asked me that same question. They want to know how I remain as I am, despite such bad things happening to/around me. Maybe it is something spiritual or alien lol.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Sometimes we burn ourselves out when we focus and always try to be doing something. Maybe you just need to rest.

 

[Ashariel]

I'm kind of stuck in that place too at this point. When I look back at my life, this is what I see:

Jobs: 100% failure rate
Marriage: 100% failure rate
Friends: 100% failure rate
Social Activities: 100% failure rate
Volunteer Efforts: 100% failure rate

It makes me really leery of trying any of these things again. So at the moment I'm taking a time-out, and not getting myself into anything new until I feel more confident that I might actually succeed at it :/

 

[somber_radiance]

I'm kind of stuck in that place too at this point. When I look back at my life, this is what I see:

Jobs: 100% failure rate
Marriage: 100% failure rate
Friends: 100% failure rate
Social Activities: 100% failure rate
Volunteer Efforts: 100% failure rate

It makes me really leery of trying any of these things again. So at the moment I'm taking a time-out, and not getting myself into anything new until I feel more confident that I might actually succeed at it :/

My worst fears come true a bit too often. But I guess I don't get 100% failure. Still, when I go to job interviews and they ask, "what's you're greatest accomplishment?" ...I blank out. Needless to say I don't get the job.

 

[ahaikulife]

I'm kind of stuck in that place too at this point. When I look back at my life, this is what I see:

Jobs: 100% failure rate
Marriage: 100% failure rate
Friends: 100% failure rate
Social Activities: 100% failure rate
Volunteer Efforts: 100% failure rate

It makes me really leery of trying any of these things again. So at the moment I'm taking a time-out, and not getting myself into anything new until I feel more confident that I might actually succeed at it :/

My worst fears come true a bit too often. But I guess I don't get 100% failure. Still, when I go to job interviews and they ask, "what's you're greatest accomplishment?" ...I blank out. Needless to say I don't get the job.

lol.... my job search has not been going good either... I have kind of given up, well, not completely...but, ok here it is, my last interview...

them: could you pass a drug/alcohol test?
me: ummmm..... probably? wait, whats wrong with alcohol
them : well, you aren't allowed to drink on the job
me : lol..well, yeah, i know that
(i'm not stupid, i just had never heard of an alcohol test for a job)

them: why do you want to work here
me : **silence** ........... i don't know;well, I need a job, and your hiring

them: where do you see yourself in three years
me : slight laugh...well, beats me, I have no idea
tomyself: not here ffs this job will suck arse..

 

[Gutted]

Hey you~ It sucks that you feel that way. As motivation can be lost, it can be found though.

I am like you. I used to be far more motivated in the past. The things that motivated me back then are still there and always have been. But like a pair of shoes, these things can only motivate me for so long and in time, the level of motivation they provide has worn down. The type of things I want to motivate me are highly challenging to get. But from time to time, the want for these things provides enough motivation. At other times just seeing all the sadness in the world can push me.