I feel like I'm at an all time low.

[Haven]

Seeing how I can’t seem to express myself around friends and family I’ll do it here on the forum. Lately I’ve been feeling low I often hang out with friends but being around them only seems to agitate my depression. My depression is a secret no one knows I’m depressed all the time. I tried to tell a counselor at school once and the results were horrible they told my parents and my teachers. Somehow I convinced everyone I was over exaggerated things and I was fine. I spend a lot of time lying It’s like I wear a mask all the time I can’t even be myself at home. When I’m with friends I feel worse than when I’m alone. There is nothing worse than feeling alone in a room full of people. I know I should not feel this way. I’m pretending to be content with life, I’m pretending 24 hours a day I feel tired so lately. I’ve started questioning the importance of getting out of bed in the morning I’m 21, I’m sure I shouldn’t feel this way.

 

[AndrewM]

Why do you feel the need to lie to people all the time?

 

[Steel]

I believe by lying he meant that he was masking how he really felt, presumably due to the betrayal of confidence by the counsellor. Which is perfectly understandable; I would have done the same in that position.

I think, Haven, that you do need to see a doctor about your depression rather than allowing it continue untreated. That way YOU can choose who actually knows about it, but can still get the support to overcome it.

Oh, and that "counsellor" should be fired.

 

[Minus]

To have a counselor betray a confidence like that, has to be unsettling. I agree with Steel that you should see a professional about it. When it is a struggle to even get out of bed in the morning then things have gone to far.

 

[Punisher]

Fired after a good slap.

Anyway, you really should see a doctor. NOW!

 

[VanillaCreme]

It gets better, Haven. I agree with Steel, you maybe should go see a doctor, who could possibly help with it somehow. Depression is an issue that's silenced by people who are scared of it. But don't let it break you down. I'd rather get help for it, than to let it destroy me. *hugs*

 

[Haven]

I know the reason for my depression but it can't be solved by just talking about it. Most of the time I'm fine. Sometimes people will say certain words that aggravate my depression. The words seem to be used very often lately. So most of time I'm ok. Its mostly just bad memories and old feelings the words bring to the surface. Once on the surface its hard to put them back.

 

[Sway]

Memory is triggered by mood, try to place yourself in a better mood, I've had minor treatment for my own depression and that' one of the things i learned.

When your in a good mood, good memories surface, cuz it's related to the mood your currently in (it's call memory cue in psychology). When you feel lonely u'll only start to only remember things that relate to when you were lonely b4, so try to find things to do that bring your good moods out, I go and play basketball, or I go and take up a hobby that makes me feel happy whenever i feel down. Haven i'd suggest that you find something that can keep you happy for hours while ur doing it? I've taken up break dancing lately cuz it made me happier ... brings my good mood out without booze or drugs lol.

It's not guaranteed to be a miracle cure, but this is actually a true fact, soo give it a shot, it's just a little food for thought