I forgot the feeling of happiness.....

[NoMoreHope]

[size=medium]Loneliness creeps under your feet, and grows and eventually consumes you. I forgot the feeling of happiness a long time ago. The sad thing is, i am only 16. I don't have any friends, i am not bad looking also, i go to the gym everyday. But i am very socially awkward. My personality is a huge turn off for everyone, day by day as i drag my feet to the halls of my school. I get tired, hoping something just cuts this loneliness in my heart. Nothing makes you feel like honeysuckle, when its a friday night all of the people of my highschool is having fun, and i am here laying on my bed, making a thread on this forum. I just want to kill myself. To end this tormenting soul of mine trap in this cold world. Never i felt this feeling of loneliness, that just blocks the whole world. I think I am going crazy, I am so scared for my life. I want to have so much fun. But yet i cant possibly do it. I have tried to make friends, but i fail all the time. Almost always making a fool of myself. Happiness is a thing I crave so bad. I need it so badly. I need friends, that care for me. I need a family that understands me. I need parents that will take time and talk to me about life's problems. I need siblings that hangout with me and laugh with me. I need relatives, that remember me, that i am still alive. I need people around me. I need something. I need a guide. I need god's love. I need care. I need someone to light up the passion in my heart. I need unconditional love that binds me. I need hope, so that once i again i can try to feel happy. I just need a little hug, a small affectionate act. A person to just say hi to. A kid in my school that just tells me, how my day was going. A teacher that motivates me, and actually notices me. I need something badly. I need happiness..

 

[Silastic]

*Hugs NoMoreHope*
Sweetheart, I know just how your feeling. When I was in highschool it was just the same for me. I didn't know how I would survive. There was literally no one who cared for me. Its a terrible feeling and it took years for me to recover.
But, here's the thing, you do get past it. Please believe me, your life will not always be as hard as it is now. It seems that way, but it's not. Though you may still feel shy, and lonely at times, after your out of school and working, or going to collage, that feeling of hopelessness changes, because you start living your life. Right now your in limbo, but it doesn't last forever.
I was the exact same way as you, and now at 28 though I still need websites like this to encourage me, I am in a healthy relationship and have a few (not lots :rolleyes2: ) of friends, and thats enough for me.
Anyway, now you have us. people who truely know how it feels to be, or who have been lonely.
Please keep your chin up sweety and don't give up.
Things DO get better!
* Hugs Hugs Hugs*

 

[gothandre]

[size=medium]Loneliness creeps under your feet, and grows and eventually consumes you. I forgot the feeling of happiness a long time ago. The sad thing is, i am only 16. I don't have any friends, i am not bad looking also, i go to the gym everyday. But i am very socially awkward. My personality is a huge turn off for everyone, day by day as i drag my feet to the halls of my school. I get tired, hoping something just cuts this loneliness in my heart. Nothing makes you feel like honeysuckle, when its a friday night all of the people of my highschool is having fun, and i am here laying on my bed, making a thread on this forum. I just want to kill myself. To end this tormenting soul of mine trap in this cold world. Never i felt this feeling of loneliness, that just blocks the whole world. I think I am going crazy, I am so scared for my life. I want to have so much fun. But yet i cant possibly do it. I have tried to make friends, but i fail all the time. Almost always making a fool of myself. Happiness is a thing I crave so bad. I need it so badly. I need friends, that care for me. I need a family that understands me. I need parents that will take time and talk to me about life's problems. I need siblings that hangout with me and laugh with me. I need relatives, that remember me, that i am still alive. I need people around me. I need something. I need a guide. I need god's love. I need care. I need someone to light up the passion in my heart. I need unconditional love that binds me. I need hope, so that once i again i can try to feel happy. I just need a little hug, a small affectionate act. A person to just say hi to. A kid in my school that just tells me, how my day was going. A teacher that motivates me, and actually notices me. I need something badly. I need happiness..

---

after some time your loneliness will become your happiness

 

[hollygalah]

Hang in there It will get better. Try talking to someone you can trust. A fav teacher or your family doctor maybe. You might find that anti-depressants could help. My son felt very similar to you over the past couple of years( he is now 18) He was diagnosed with depression last year and was put on anti-depressants. He still has the occassional low day but he is a lot happier and manages to function a lot better now. Take care and many hugs to you.